Technically, Adulteration means when corrupt men mix poisonous and cheap substances in our food products, but, I used to use this term, when a 17 year old boy comes out of his nappy and becomes a man. It is one day for which every boy waits for but the same thing can’t be said about girls as they want to look 16 even at the age of 60. Sounds weird? Read on.

It just feels like today when I, myself, got adulterated. At that time, it would mean that, no longer would I have to worry about opening a porn site and watching the “Adults Only” logo, no longer would I have to worry about humiliation if someone catches me while watching that porn. It would also mean that, I could go to the terrace of my home in my towel and start singing, “Jab Se Tere Naina” from the crappiest movie, “Saawariya” and no longer would I have to worry about the girl/boy next door staring and fantasizing about my thing when I drop that towel.

It would mean that, no longer would I have to worry about Police kicking my ass for catching me driving without a license. It also meant that, I could go to any shop and ask for a condom without feeling ashamed, unlike many Indian men, and it would also mean that, no longer would I have to consider masturbation as a sin, since, as per the Indian laws, I was officially an ADULT.

But, these were just hypothetical situations, which I don’t give a damn about. The things which I’ll mention now were the ones I was really excited about.

1. Right to Vote

I was made to believe that, once I get my right to vote, I can vote any person I like, whom I think will do best for my country without taking any bribe, without raping a 10 year old girl and without murdering any poor guy. They also convinced me to believe in the fact that, the person I’ll choose will be highly educated and a perfect gentleman. On the top of that, they told me that, the elections and the votes will be counted with pure honesty.

But, when the elections came, I saw the reality. I came to know that, no matter for which motherfucker I vote, only that will win who has a bigger gun or a large bank balance in his Swiss account. And if he has the skills to start a riot on the name of religion, language, or caste, then even God can’t defeat him in the elections.

2. Singing talent shows

I conjectured that, once I win any of the singing competition on the ground of my singing talent, I’ll get all the money, my name will be on everyone’s lips, girls will run after me just like they run after Imran Khan and people will go to the music stores to buy my music CDs and then I’ll be India’s 50 Cent.

But to my surprise, I came to know that, you don’t win on the basis of your talent, you win on the account of your state, religion and caste. If your state and caste people support you, then it doesn’t matter if you are the worst singer in the whole India, even more than Himesh Reshammiya, you’ll still win hands down. But, after that, no one will give a shit about you.

Your music video will be on a TV channel for a couple of months and then again, you’ll be an asshole who you were earlier. Then, other TV channels will invite you to compete against the winners of other reality shows. In short, you’ll be a fucked up retard for the rest of your life.

3. 18+ Stuff

I surmised that, I would go to the PVR with my broad chest and would buy the ticket of Sex and the City, as I’m an adult now. Moreover, I also deduced that no longer would I have to worry about the “Parental Advisory” logo on the Hip Hop music CDs.

But to my surprise again, I came to know that, even a 14 year old kid can buy the ticket of Sex and the city and can purely ignore the “Adult” certificate given to the movie. He can call his girlfriend a bitch or a whore and can sing, “I want to fuck you” for her, while she is busy doing her make-up and trying to garner attention of other guys just like Deepika Padukone and Bipasha Basu.

And all this forced me to ask some questions to myself? What the hell has happened to all of us? What are we doing to help our country? Is this the future of our country?

Then some of my friends came to me and said, “Shut the fuck up man, this is India Meri Jaan”.

And this took me to the conclusion that we don’t have to be 18 to become an Adult. We get adulterated from the starting of our lives, or in other words, corrupt men pollute us with poisonous and cheap substances.

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All the conditions and situations mentioned above represent the general experiences and overall scenario of the adults of India and they have nothing to do with the personal experiences of the author.
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