Archive for » 2010 «

26
Mar
Nice guys finish last in Twilight
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I once read on a website that a nice guy is an equivalent to a fat chick. If you really think about it, this statement reflects the reality to a large extent. I mean, how many times have you seen a girl leaving a nice guy for a badass dude? A lot of times would be an understatement. While sailing through random YouTube videos, I bumped into one of the scenes from Twilight: New Moon.

I couldn’t stop laughing while watching that scene, and it was not a good thing because that scene was supposed to be a romantic moment between our Barbie doll Bella, and blood sucking Edward. I just thought of writing a little variant of that scene, which is kind of close to the reality.

Twilight, Edward Cullen

Edward: O Bella! I love you so much!

Bella: I love you, too, my blood sucking pest. But you won’t want me when I’ll look like a grandma.

Edward: O Bella! My love is so immortal that I will love you even when you’ll have a beard and will weigh 200 pounds.

Bella: Aaww.. that’s like the sweetest thing someone has said to me.

Edward: My love is totally emotional, Bella. I don’t lust after your body, try to understand my love.

Bella: Aaw… wait what?

Edward: What?

Bella: What do you mean you don’t lust for my body?

Edward: I mean..

Bella: You think I’m fat, don’t you?

Edward: No, I didn’t mean that.

Bella: You did, you shit face. I can’t believe you are so insensitive. I work so hard for keeping these two babies in shape, and you don’t even look, let alone touch them.

Edward: Don’t cry Bella..

Bella: Fuck you! You don’t know how much trouble I go through to keep myself in shape. Just last week, I did three jobs in one day. Nose, boobs and lips.

Edward: What?

Bella: When I try to kiss you, you push me away.

Edward: I don’t want to take advantage of you, Bella. I love you.

Bella: Love my ass. Wait, you don’t even love that. Have you ever wondered why there are more fans of Team Jacob than Team Edward on Twitter, IMDB, and Facebook?

Edward: Why?

Bella: Because he’s man enough to grab these things.

Edward: I’m not like him, I’m different.

Bella: Yeah, you are. 108 year old virgin. They should make a movie on you.

Edward: You’re hurting my feelings, Bella. But I still love you.

Bella: You know what your problem is? You’re still stuck in the 1890s. Today is the age of Lil Wayne, Soulja Boy. They tell young girls to suck lollipop, and I’m trying to suck yours, but you won’t give me a chance. That’s totally feminist. You’re such a jerk.

Edward starts crying

Jacob enters

Jacob: Whad up ma bitch?

Bella: See Edward, these are some manners. That’s what I call a gentleman. I’m fine, my dear. How are you?

Jacob: I’mmaa rollin’ with ma homies. Why is this pussy crying?

Bella: Becoz that’s what he is. A man with a V, in place of a D and 2 Bs.

Jacob: That sucks bro. U read my book, k? It’s called “100 ways to show a feminist her place and also get laid”. It’s ill man, it’s ill.

Bella: Don’t waste your time on him. His favourite movie is, “The Notebook”.

Jacob laughs

Jacob: U a gone case, my friend. Girls don’t love that shit. They love pimpin, rollin with homies. Girls like to have fun, you know?

Bella: I like it when you are without your shirt, Jacob.

Jacob: I know you do, babe. So, wanna ride with your pimp?

Bella: O yes! You are so hot. But promise me you’ll sing a song for me.

Jacob: Which one?

Bella: I wanna Fuck you. But not I wanna Love you version. That version is for gays like Edward.

Jacob: Alright, biatch. Let’s go.

Edward: O Bella!! Don’t leave me. You are my world, you are my love.

Bella shows him the middle finger.

If only Edward knew that “I wanna tap that ass” was the right response, Bella would have been cleaning and cooking for him. But now he is crying in his room, alone.

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17
Jan
Karthik Calling Karthik Music Review
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With a marvelous soundtrack of My Name is Khan behind them, Shankar Ehsaan Loy are back again. This time it’s Karthik Calling Karthik. The movie stars Farhan Akhtar and Deepika Padukone in the lead. The soundtrack of Karthik Calling Karthik consists of 9 tracks, out of which 6 are originals and 3 are remixes. Let’s get down to Karthik Calling Karthik music review.

Karthik Calling Karthik Music Review

1. Hey Ya!

The soundtrack opens with the melodius Hey Ya! This song is a chartbuster from the word go, especially with the college going junta aka Youngistan. Melody is so catchy that you’ll keep Hey Ya! on loop in your media player or iPod. It’s been sung by the trio of Clinton Cerejo, Shankar Mahadevan and Loy Mendonsa. English lyrics blend perfectly with the hindi ones. Hey Ya! is sheer brilliance!

2. Uff Teri Adaa

Shankar Ehsaan Loy keeps the magic going with Uff Teri Adaa. A perfect number for clubs, Uff Teri Adaa is another chartbuster. Music video is out and Deepika looks stunning in that. Uff Teri Adaa kind of belongs to trance genre but with a desi touch. Shankar Mahadevan is behind the mic, but with Alyssa Mendonsa. This song keeps on becoming awesome with each listen. Don’t miss this one!

3. Jaane ye Kya Hua Hai

With Jaane Ye Kya Hua, we are kind of back in Wake Up Sid universe, and it’s not a bad thing! Another college campus song, Jaane Ye Kya Hua could have been an average affair but thanks to KK, it’s not. Javed Akhtar shows his magic again with his lyrics. Just chill out with your partner and listen to this one.

4. Kaisi Hai Ye Udaasi

The soundtrack takes a detour with Kaisi Hai Ye Udaasi. To be honest, this song sounds out of place, but I’m not saying it is a bad song. It’s very good, and Kailash Kher and Sukanya Purayastha have sung it beautifully. It’s definitely a background song. I just hope that they don’t make it melo-dramatic in the movie.

5. Karthik Calling Karthik

Another background song, I’m really not sure what to think of Karthik Calling Karthik. This song is a grower, for sure. Tempo is slow, and it gives you a mysterious feel.

6. Karthik 2.0

With Karthik 2.0, we are back in business. This time it’s the Midival Punditz who are creating the magic. I still remember their version of Don, one of my favorites. Filled with guitar riffs, Karthik 2.0 is mind-blowing.

Final Verdict

I was really hoping that Farhan Akhtar would sing at least one song in the soundtrack because his voice is really suitable for this youthful album. But, he’s not in the list. Anyway, Karhik Calling Karthik’s music is made for the young generation, and it’ll certainly appeal to them. Length of most of the songs is around 4 minutes, except Kaisi Hai Ye Udaasi.

With Hey Ya! and Uff Teri Adaa, Shankar Ehsaan Loy have two big chartbusters in their hands. After My Name is Khan, the trio has proved again why they’re one of the best in the music business right now. Go out and buy the CD of Karthik Calling Karthik!

Rating –

Cast – Farhan Akhtar, Deepika Padukone

Music Director – Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Movie Director – Vijay Lalwani

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them.

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Must Reads

1. 10 things every Girl should know about Guys – Find the most common things which girls always fail to understand about guys.

2. Internet Indian Society – Check out how we, the Indians, behave on the internet.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. My Name is Khan music review – One of the best soundtracks of 2010.
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08
Jan
Pyaar Impossible Movie Review
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If I didn’t have a passion to write reviews on this blog and some extra cash, I would have never got out of my home to watch Pyaar Impossible in this weather. Seriously, what was I thinking? I guess we all make mistakes. Anyway, coming back to the review, Pyaar Impossible stars Priyanka Chopra and Uday Chopra, who also wrote the script. Directed by Jugal Hansraj, this movie is one big yawn.

Pyaar Impossible Movie Review

Story

The story of movie revolves around the life of Abhay, played by Uday, who is your average geek in college and not so surprisingly, in love with the hottest girl in college, Alisha (Priyanka Chopra). But, he is not able to confess it because Alisha’s dad makes her leave the college and come back to India.

7 years forward, Abhay is still in love with her but he has made a unique operating system which can run all the operating systems in the world. XP, Vista, Linux, Mac etc, you name it, he has it. Good thing for the geeks if it was real. But, his software is stolen by Dino Morea. And thus, begins his journey to get his software back. On his journey, he also meets Alisha again. Will he find his true love? Not hard to predict.

Technical Department

First things first, this movie is filled with clichés. Jugal Hansraj clearly doesn’t have an eye for details. And as a result of this, we are stuck with a depressing love story which could have been much better. And this brings me back to my next point. I don’t know if it’s me only, but, in my opinion, this movie could have been much much better and refreshing if the writer, Uday Chopra, had done some homework. Or probably, he had given this story to some good writer. Writing is totally juvenile with only couple of scenes which bring a smile to your face. Moreover, it’s highly predictable.

One more thing, why does it always happen that if you want to show a popular girl in college then she has to be a rockstar? Why can’t she be a chess player or a debater? Can’t it be beauty with brains? But, I think there is no glamour in being a chess player or a debater.

Music, I’ve to say, is really good. The duo of Salim-Sulaiman has done a wonderful job by giving some peppy tunes, which will be with you even after leaving the cinema. I recommend you to buy the CD now, but we know how you’re going to get the songs. Cinematography was nice

Acting Department

Let’s start the acting department with Priyanka Chopra. She was top notch, to say the least. Very natural and confident. But, I’ve to comment on her dresses. I wonder if her character wears any normal clothes like we do and especially, since she is a divorced mother. Don’t worry about spoiler, it’s hardly any. Mini skirts and showing cleavage in office. I also wonder if there is any dress code in the offices of Singapore, coz if there isn’t, then I’m applying for a job in Singapore straight away. She was looking really really hot. Gorgeous at its best.

And, then we have Uday Chopra. I’ve to be honest here, you don’t have any acting skill. I think you’re lucky that you have your own production company and a brother who is ready to spend money on you while, there are many talented writers and actors never get a break

Anupam Kher and Dino Morea in their supporting roles were ok. Nothing special. And what’s the deal with Alisha’s daughter? She doesn’t look 6 at all and is annoying.

Final Verdict

If there is one reason to watch Pyaar Impossible then it’s Priyanka Chopra. I bet guys are going to love it. Watching her on big screen is a delight and I don’t think she has looked this gorgeous in any other movie. So guys, check it out, but only if some fool are paying for your ticket. As for the girls, they are stuck with Uday Chopra, who shouldn’t come on the big screen, unless it’s Dhoom 3.

Some love stories have the charm to capture your attention within 1 minute and to hook you till the end. But, this movie is nothing like that. And, as far as the hit status for Pyaar Impossibe is concerned, it is anything but possible.

Rating –

Cast – Priyanka Chopra, Uday Chopra

Music Director – Salim-Sulaiman

Movie Director – Jugal Hasnsraj

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them.

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4. Rocket Singh Salesman of the year movie review – One of the best movies of 2009.
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04
Jan
My Name is Khan Music Review
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I don’t think there is anything like waking up to find that soundtrack of the most awaited movie of 2010, My Name is Khan, is out. Composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy, this album consists of 6 tracks, without any remixes! Yeah, that’s 1 point from the very beginning. Good start! Let’s get to the review.

My Name Is Khan music review

1. Sajda

The soundtrack starts with a soulful sufi number, Sajda, rendered beautifully by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Shankar Mahadevan, and Richa Sharma. Lyrics are beautifully written by Niranjan Iyengar. It’s one of those type of songs, which you would like to listen by closing your eyes to give yourself some peace. It’s definitely a situational song, no doubt about that. During the first listen, it may come out to be an ordinary song to some people but listen to it again and pay attention to the lyrics, you’ll find the magic!

2. Noor E Khuda

After a melodious Sajda, next comes Noor E Khuda. Many of you may remember this song from the trailer of My Name is Khan. Noor E Khuda has been sung by Adnan Sami, Shankar Mahadevan, and Shreya Ghoshal. To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect when I read Adnan’s same on the tracklist. But, he turns out to be the show stealer here. His voice provides the soothing feel to the song which is required. Shreya Ghoshal is at her usually best. Oh, did I mention how good is the chorus? Yeah, it’s awesome! Lyrics are again brilliant. Another touch of genius, I say!

3. Tere Naina

You must be wondering, it’s a Karan Johar film with Shah Rukh Khan, how come there is no romantic song? Well, your wait is over. But, I must say that it’s not your typical KJO romantic number. It’s a background song and yes, it’sufi, beautifully sung by Shafqat Amanat Ali. Man, this album is on a roll till now.

4. Allah Hi Rahem

After a beautiful romantic number, we are again back to singing praises of God, which is a good thing, by the way. Another awesome background song, with sufi touch. Off topic, I think everyone should listen to this song once a day. I mean, how many of us really remember the good Lord? It’s a good way to do that, no? If you’re an atheist then you can pretend not to listen to the beautiful lyrics in the name of God. And, I think I forgot the mention the name of the singer, it’s Rashid Khan.

5. Khan Theme

I think many of you will be able to guess that it’s an instrumental piece. It’s a good one and I think it’ll be used a lot in the movie.

6. Rang De

Rang De brings us back to SEL’s rock roots. Mixing rock and sufi is always a good choice. Guitar riffs at the starting of the song kind of reminds me of Rock On. Shankar Mahadevan, and Suraj Jagan take the mic to sing Rang De. I think chorus could have been a little better but that’s ok. Rest of the song is rocking, especially the bridge.

Verdict

My Name is Khan is an important film for everyone involved in this and not to forget, Bollywood. As it’s a getting a big release by Fox Searclight, this can be the perfect opportunity to make our cinema global. The soundtrack is a complete detour for Shankar Ehsaan Loy and Karan Johar. Every song is a situational song and all of them have a sufi touch. This soundtrack has raised my hopes for the movie. If you’re tired of listening to total commerical remixes with stupid remixes and want to listen to something meaningful, then My Name is Khan is your choice. Moreover, I think this can be a good gift for your parents as most of the album is in the name of God. They like to listen to such stuff, just kidding.

Anyway, the soundtrack of My Name is Khan is remarkable. And, it’s a must in everyone’s collection. A brave and honest effort, which should be applauded.

Rating –

Cast – Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol

Music Director – Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Movie Director – Karan Johar

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them.

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Must Reads

1. 10 things every Girl should know about Guys – Find the most common things which girls always fail to understand about guys.

2. Internet Indian Society – Check out how we, the Indians, behave on the internet.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. Rocket Singh Salesman of the year movie review – One of the best movies of 2009.
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