I couldn’t stop laughing while watching that scene, and it was not a good thing because that scene was supposed to be a romantic moment between our Barbie doll Bella, and blood sucking Edward. I just thought of writing a little variant of that scene, which is kind of close to the reality.

Edward: O Bella! I love you so much!

Bella: I love you, too, my blood sucking pest. But you won’t want me when I’ll look like a grandma.

Edward: O Bella! My love is so immortal that I will love you even when you’ll have a beard and will weigh 200 pounds.

Bella: Aaww.. that’s like the sweetest thing someone has said to me.

Edward: My love is totally emotional, Bella. I don’t lust after your body, try to understand my love.

Bella: Aaw… wait what?

Edward: What?

Bella: What do you mean you don’t lust for my body?

Edward: I mean..

Bella: You think I’m fat, don’t you?

Edward: No, I didn’t mean that.

Bella: You did, you shit face. I can’t believe you are so insensitive. I work so hard for keeping these two babies in shape, and you don’t even look, let alone touch them.

Edward: Don’t cry Bella..

Bella: Fuck you! You don’t know how much trouble I go through to keep myself in shape. Just last week, I did three jobs in one day. Nose, boobs and lips.

Edward: What?

Bella: When I try to kiss you, you push me away.

Edward: I don’t want to take advantage of you, Bella. I love you.

Bella: Love my ass. Wait, you don’t even love that. Have you ever wondered why there are more fans of Team Jacob than Team Edward on Twitter, IMDB, and Facebook?

Edward: Why?

Bella: Because he’s man enough to grab these things.

Edward: I’m not like him, I’m different.

Bella: Yeah, you are. 108 year old virgin. They should make a movie on you.

Edward: You’re hurting my feelings, Bella. But I still love you.

Bella: You know what your problem is? You’re still stuck in the 1890s. Today is the age of Lil Wayne, Soulja Boy. They tell young girls to suck lollipop, and I’m trying to suck yours, but you won’t give me a chance. That’s totally feminist. You’re such a jerk.

Edward starts crying

Jacob enters

Jacob: Whad up ma bitch?

Bella: See Edward, these are some manners. That’s what I call a gentleman. I’m fine, my dear. How are you?

Jacob: I’mmaa rollin’ with ma homies. Why is this pussy crying?

Bella: Becoz that’s what he is. A man with a V, in place of a D and 2 Bs.

Jacob: That sucks bro. U read my book, k? It’s called “100 ways to show a feminist her place and also get laid”. It’s ill man, it’s ill.

Bella: Don’t waste your time on him. His favourite movie is, “The Notebook”.

Jacob laughs

Jacob: U a gone case, my friend. Girls don’t love that shit. They love pimpin, rollin with homies. Girls like to have fun, you know?

Bella: I like it when you are without your shirt, Jacob.

Jacob: I know you do, babe. So, wanna ride with your pimp?

Bella: O yes! You are so hot. But promise me you’ll sing a song for me.

Jacob: Which one?

Bella: I wanna Fuck you. But not I wanna Love you version. That version is for gays like Edward.

Jacob: Alright, biatch. Let’s go.

Edward: O Bella!! Don’t leave me. You are my world, you are my love.

Bella shows him the middle finger.

If only Edward knew that “I wanna tap that ass” was the right response, Bella would have been cleaning and cooking for him. But now he is crying in his room, alone.

1. Hey Ya!

The soundtrack opens with the melodius Hey Ya! This song is a chartbuster from the word go, especially with the college going junta aka Youngistan. Melody is so catchy that you’ll keep Hey Ya! on loop in your media player or iPod. It’s been sung by the trio of Clinton Cerejo, Shankar Mahadevan and Loy Mendonsa. English lyrics blend perfectly with the hindi ones. Hey Ya! is sheer brilliance!

2. Uff Teri Adaa

Shankar Ehsaan Loy keeps the magic going with Uff Teri Adaa. A perfect number for clubs, Uff Teri Adaa is another chartbuster. Music video is out and Deepika looks stunning in that. Uff Teri Adaa kind of belongs to trance genre but with a desi touch. Shankar Mahadevan is behind the mic, but with Alyssa Mendonsa. This song keeps on becoming awesome with each listen. Don’t miss this one!

3. Jaane ye Kya Hua Hai

With Jaane Ye Kya Hua, we are kind of back in Wake Up Sid universe, and it’s not a bad thing! Another college campus song, Jaane Ye Kya Hua could have been an average affair but thanks to KK, it’s not. Javed Akhtar shows his magic again with his lyrics. Just chill out with your partner and listen to this one.

4. Kaisi Hai Ye Udaasi

The soundtrack takes a detour with Kaisi Hai Ye Udaasi. To be honest, this song sounds out of place, but I’m not saying it is a bad song. It’s very good, and Kailash Kher and Sukanya Purayastha have sung it beautifully. It’s definitely a background song. I just hope that they don’t make it melo-dramatic in the movie.

5. Karthik Calling Karthik

Another background song, I’m really not sure what to think of Karthik Calling Karthik. This song is a grower, for sure. Tempo is slow, and it gives you a mysterious feel.

6. Karthik 2.0

With Karthik 2.0, we are back in business. This time it’s the Midival Punditz who are creating the magic. I still remember their version of Don, one of my favorites. Filled with guitar riffs, Karthik 2.0 is mind-blowing.

Final Verdict

I was really hoping that Farhan Akhtar would sing at least one song in the soundtrack because his voice is really suitable for this youthful album. But, he’s not in the list. Anyway, Karhik Calling Karthik’s music is made for the young generation, and it’ll certainly appeal to them. Length of most of the songs is around 4 minutes, except Kaisi Hai Ye Udaasi.

With Hey Ya! and Uff Teri Adaa, Shankar Ehsaan Loy have two big chartbusters in their hands. After My Name is Khan, the trio has proved again why they’re one of the best in the music business right now. Go out and buy the CD of Karthik Calling Karthik!

Rating –

Cast – Farhan Akhtar, Deepika Padukone

Music Director – Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Movie Director – Vijay Lalwani

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them.

***********************************************************
Did you like this post? Then subscribe to The News Dose for more entertaining posts.
Subscribe to The News Dose by Email
Subscribe to The News Dose through RSS
***********************************************************
Must Reads

1. 10 things every Girl should know about Guys – Find the most common things which girls always fail to understand about guys.

2. Internet Indian Society – Check out how we, the Indians, behave on the internet.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. My Name is Khan music review – One of the best soundtracks of 2010.
***********************************************************

]]> http://thenewsdose.com/2010/01/17/karthik-calling-karthik-music-review/feed/ 1