Archive for the Category »Aishwarya Rai Bachchan «

Nov

Day after day, I see every other Bollywood website commenting on who is the real King of Bollywood. It’s like the burning topic for the country, even more than why that “wannabe assassinator” from Bihar got shot, or why Politicians of India are not even leaving the chance to play politics on his death, or when will Raj Thackeray die, or the best question, why a BLACK Obama is going to the WHITE house? I mean these are serious questions, right? Especially the last one if you are a racist.

To the poor souls, who participate in the fight of “King of Bollywood” and ma$turbate while sitting in front of their PCs in lieu of doing something productive, I’m going to clear your doubts for once and all. To those lucky souls who never got to see such discussions, here is a sample of what happens in the fight.

But first, you’ve to realize that they fight as if they are those actors, so don’t be surprised about their use of language.

Here is a log of the fight.

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*Akshay Kumar Fan (AK) joined the chat on his virtual scooter with a slogan “Indian audience love brainless comedies coz they don’t have a brain”, while Shahrukh Fan (SRK) is smoking despite the ban on smoking in public chat rooms by Internet Health Minister, P0rn Lover.*

*Aamir Khan Fan (A) is busy in writing a blog entry about his love for dogs and about his new pappu, I mean puppy, Imran Khan. News Dose (ND), on the other hand, is wasting time on Orkut, Facebook, Twitter and other countless social networking sites in trying to make contacts with hot girls.*

AK: So SRK, I heard music of your new movie, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, just got released and I also heard that NewsDose gave it 5 stars. He sounds like a Fan of yours. It’s biased.

SRK: Yeah, so? It deserves it.

AK: O c’mon, you know songs suck. I mean, a harmonium in the song, really? In which year are you living? 1950? Where is the hip-hop and hot b!tches? Show me some bling and Snoop Dogg, nigga.

SRK: It would be totally inappropriate coz I’m playing a boring character in the movie just like I’m in real life. I’m boring, unromantic, and with a white hair.

AK: Yeah right! You’re boring, that’s why I’m the King of Bollywood. You know why youth loves me? Because I give them Katrina Kaif, showing her cleavage and hot a$$, on which they can drool so that they don’t give a $hit about the story.

SRK: And I give them Deepika Padukone, who changes her boyfriend every other day. I’m pretty sure Anushka will follow her footsteps.

*AK thinking – “Damn! That’s true. I don’t have any more $luts. Shilpa Shetty doesn’t talk to me now. $hit.”*

*ND drooling over the pictures of hot girls while Aamir’s fan is uploading the pictures of Aamir Khan using Imran Khan to get girls*

*After 10 seconds pause*

AK: You know what? You $uck. I’m the king. I gave 4 back to back hits.

SRK: So did me.

AK: But I gave them in one year. And guess what? I’m getting 100 crores for new movie. HA! Beat that, you @$$hole.

SRK: Any proof?

*Pause for 10 seconds*

AK: You know what? I’m getting 100 crores and that’s it. I’m the King and King is always right.

*Aamir’s fan realizes that Aamir is losing the battle*

Aamir: Hey! How the hell can you forget me? I’m the perfectionist! Muhahahaha!

SRK: And here comes the baldy.

Aamir: What did you call me? You’re a piece of my dog’s $hit, you know that?

AK: Great going, Aamir. Let’s kill him together. HAHA

Aamir: What are you laughing about, you brainless creature. Watch my movies someday and learn some story telling from it. I’m the best!

AK: Then why does your new movie, Ghajini, looks like a tamil movie? And hey, I thought we were together in this battle against SRK.

Aamir: I don’t need anyone, that’s why I kicked Amol from Taare Zameen Par and took all the credit. I’m the real KING. I’ll do the same thing for Ghajini, if it succeeds on box office.

SRK: Give me a break; you are an Idiot of 3 idiots. A dumb@$$.

*Suddenly, Salman Khan’s Fan enters the room in his virtual car and with a picture of Aishwarya in his one hand and his other hand is somewhere down.*

*ND is still busy in collecting the pictures of hot girls*

SK: What the hell is going on? *Closing the zip of his pants*

AK: Ah! Three SRK haters now. It’s fun. Tell him who’s the King, Salman.

SK: I don’t know but it is not SRK. He is one selfish guy who took my Katrina to Dubai on Diwali while I was bursting my crackers alone in my bed, if you know what I mean.

Aamir: Just like you were bursting in your car with Aishwarya’s picture?

SK: Totally, I still remember those good old days. Damn you Abhishek. Anyway, SRK is gay and spends his time with KJO.

*ND completes his collection of hot pictures of hot girls and returns to the chat room.*

*ND reads the whole conversation and decides to act responsibily.*

ND: Why do you guys always fight with each other? Don’t you have anything to do in life?

AK: Yeah, like what? Giving SRK’s movie biased reviews and 5 star ratings, and giving 2 stars to mine? F*ck you.

SK: Yeah, I think SRK gives u his thing behind your thing, if you know what I mean.

ND: Listen people, all those superstars don’t even know you. They’re earning millions and you are wasting your time.

AK: Get lost, you d!ckhead. Let us fight. This is our life and this is what we do.

*SRK, Aamir, and SK say the same thing*

ND: But…

All: Get out, you @#$@%@#^$^$^##%@%@#@

*ND quits the room and now writing a new blog entry about Obama while all 4 morons are still fighting*

So, you see, this is what happens in a so called debate over “The King of Bollywood.” One piece of advice, never participate in such fight coz chances are that you’ll be addicted to it.

And for those poor souls, as I promised earlier and as THE ROCK will say, “It doesn’t matter who’s the KING OF BOLLYWOOD.”

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Do you have any experience of these fights? Do you want to comment on the article or present your views on who’s the real king? Comment box is below. Go for it!
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1. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.

2. An Indian Woman is Independent – Are you afraid of Independent women? Or do you want to become one? Then read this post.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. Dostana Music Review – Find out if it’s worth to buy (download) the songs?
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[digg=http://digg.com/movies/Who_is_the_King_of_Bollywood]

Aug

Singh is Kinng Movie Review

newsdose

How many times have you heard those Santa Banta jokes? I know, a lot of times. But now people might include one more character to Santa Banta and make it trio and that character would be Happy Singh from the movie Singh is Kinng.

Singh is Kinng

Singh is Kinng is about a halfwit Sikh guy, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar), from a village in Punjab who always cause trouble to village people and they are vexed by his unique ability to cause troubles. So, in order to get rid of him, they pack-off him to Australia to bring underworld King, Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood), back to their village. There he lands into various troubles and meet the love of his life, Sonia (Katrina Kaif), who is already committed.

This is the general outline of the film and to be honest, it is not that “original”. Singh is Kinng is filled with serendipities and misunderstandings. Add a lot of toilet jokes to it, and there you have a typical Anees Bazmee movie. His last movie, Welcome, was a big success, but the same thing can’t be said about the reviews from both the critics and the audience. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out IMDB.com, there it only got 5.4/10 rating from 825 votes.

But that was the past, now let’s get back to Singh is Kinng. Honestly speaking, Singh is Kinng is a very competent idea of the director to make huge money, just like with Welcome, without even giving a damn about the audience who pays a lot to watch an amiable and sensible comedy.

From the title of the movie, you expect it to have some different approach to portray Sikhs in the Bollywood movies unlike those movies in which Sikhs are represented as cretinous (idiots). But no, this movie is the same like those movies. I’m a person who believes in providing full liberty to the artist to express his opinions, even if they offend someone.

But, if you give a title Singh is Kinng to a movie, then I expect you to justify the title of the movie. Sadly, this is not the case with this one. No doubt, this movie would be a big hit, but when it comes to morals and honesty towards your work, it falls flat.

Performances

Akshay Kumar

He is undoubtedly the king of comedies and he is proving his worth with every movie. He really gets into the character of Happy Singh, and delivers it with brilliance.

But again, I’ve one question for him. I know you are a popular star now, but why are you pretending to care about the Sikhs? You go on blabbering about Singh is Kinng on award shows and promotional events, but where is your honesty towards the subject?

Just say that, “I only want to make money out of it and I don’t give a shit about anything else. I want to be the King of Bollywood.”

You should use your popularity to do some movies that can send some good message among the youth of India instead of doing such cheap movies. That is the difference between you and Aamir Khan and ShahRukh Khan.

Katrina Kaif

Please someone tell this girl to stop acting. This is one of the worst performances I’ve seen in a long time. She can even make Ayesha Takia’s performance in De Taali as an Oscar worthy performance.

I know you’ve the looks that can make any guy want to be with you in bed and believe me, directors and producers are using you for this reason only. You don’t stand anywhere close to the other female actors in terms of acting like Vidya Balan, Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor, hell you are even worse than Aishwarya Rai and I’m really serious about this.

Please go to some good acting school and learn some acting. You’re just an eye candy in the movies and I don’t think it is a good sign for your career.

Supporting Cast

I’m really mad about the wastage of Ranvir Shorey in this movie. He is one of the best actors to come out from Bollywood in recent times. Why did you waste such a wonderful talent in your movie, Anees Bazmee?

Om Puri shares a good chemistry with Akshay and gives an above average performance. Kirron Kher really stands out in the movie. Javed Jaffrey, Neha Dhupia and Sonu Sood give average performances.

Final Words – Singh is Kinng is your average Akshay Kumar entertainer. Go to the cinema hall without your brain and you’ll enjoy it, although chances are less. Akshay Kumar carries this movie on his shoulders. If you are a diehard fan of Akshay Kumar, then it would be a perfect treat for you. And if you are not, better wait it to come on TV.

One advice to Anees Bazmee – Please stop making such stupid movies and use your talent in a better way. I know you want to make a lot of money, but please, don’t do it on the expense of someone’s feelings and yes, I’m talking about Sikhs. Have some morals and I’m talking to you too, Akshay!

I’m not a religious fanatic and I simply don’t care about anything but not everyone is like me. But I can bet that many Sikh groups would be pissed at this movie. I was going through the reviews of the movie and found one on Sikhnet. Do read it and you’ll see what they think about this one.

Verdict – If brainless and toilet humor is your taste of a good comedy then go watch it. Be my guest. But if your taste is opposite to mentioned above then refrain yourself from this one.

Box-office result – It would be a big hit as I mentioned earlier, considering the hype around this movie. But sometimes, there is something more than just money which is certainly not true for both the director and the actors.

Rating – 2 out of 5

Your views – Post your reviews on the movie as comments in the box below. Or if you’ve something against my review then also post it. I would be glad to reply to it.

Note to readers – I’m not saying that performance of Akshay Kumar was bad or something, I’m just saying that there was no story at all, humor was cheap and it didn’t justify the title of the movie and the promises it made. You can always read the reviews of other critics like that of Rajeev Masand of CNN-IBN.

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Must Read – Why is India a loser in Olympics? – Find out why and give your views.

[digg=http://digg.com/movies/Singh_is_Kinng_Movie_Review_4]

Jul

ShahRukh and Salman Khan Fight

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Since the man started walking on this Earth, there have been only wars and wars, be it for money, Aishwarya Rai’s husband position, some so called holy place “Kashmir”, or over the Indo-US Nuclear Deal. The prime examples of these wars would be Indo-Pakistani War, War between Rakhi Sawant and Kashmira Shah on Big Boss, fight between Salman, Vivek and Abhishek, or that famous one between Shilpa Shetty and Jade Goody, but, none of them had generated such controversy in the Indian Media as Shah Rukh and Salman fight did.

According to our very own trust-worthy news channels, there was a spat between Shah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan on the birthday party of Katrina Kaif, which was orchestrated by Salman Khan. But, as we all know the true nature of our Sallu Bhai, he couldn’t resist himself from taking shots at Shahrukh. As of now, no one knows what exactly took place between the two Khans, as every newspaper and news channel is giving different story, thus, maintaining the HIGH STANDARDS of Indian news.

But, we at The News Dose, decided to find out what exactly happened. So, in order to achieve the target, we contacted our very own shit jabbering bitch, Rakhi Sawant and asked her to do a show especially for us.

Ladies and their pervert Husbands, I, Rakhi Sawant, would like to welcome you to my chat show, Rakhi 007, on the famous news channel, The News Dose.

Random Guy from crowd: You still alive? I thought I killed you last week after raping you in front of your boyfriend, Abhishek, while he was masturbating to your rape. President of India even gave me Padma Shri for doing this. Fuck!

Rakhi: Don’t be silly, getting raped by perverts like you is my day to day job. Anyways, we’ve lots of celebrities in my show. We’re going to discuss about Shahrukh and Salman fight.

Salman: Shut the fuck up. Where is my alcohol? Don’t you know I can’t live without it even for 2 minutes?

Katrina: Don’t drink please my Sallu, otherwise you would call me Aishwarya Rai and start humping me again. I have feelings you know!

Salman: Feelings my @$$, you can’t even act properly. You’re just an eye-candy in movies.

Akshay Kumar: That’s right. Films score on box-office just because of me, I’m the King.

Rakhi: Stop it please. So, Shahrukh and Salman, what happened that night?

Shahrukh: Here is the conversation took place that night

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Salman: You know what? You and Karan Johar, both of you are gays.

Shahrukh: And you are a dog of Aishwarya and Katrina.

Salman: O please! I’m the King and everyone knows that.

Shahrukh: Yeah right! You’re the queen of Akshay Kumar.

Akshay: Yes, you are my queen. Let’s go, our room is waiting for us baby.

Aamir: Hey!! How could you guys forget me? I’m the perfectionist! You both suck balls of Karan and Akshay.

Salman: And you use your gay nephew Imran Khan to introduce yourself to sluts, right Aamir?

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Rakhi: Ok, that sounds believable. I believe anything in which people insult Aamir.

Aamir: Die you slut!

Rakhi: Shut up baldy. Now, we’ll do something different. We’ve the editor of Mumbai Mirror, the newspaper which published this news first.

Editor: Thank you, thank you.

Random guy: Fuck you moron, I wiped my ass with your newspaper, you know that?

Editor: Yes, this is why we publish our newspaper. It helps to clean and see your ass. That is why there is Mirror in the name.

News Dose: Why did you publish such atrocious news without even checking the real story?

Editor: This is because our team is filled with nincompoops who like to write stuff using their ghoulish creativity, just like News Dose. Moreover, it helps people to wipe their asses, which is our main motive.

Rakhi: Do people wipe their penis when you publish something about me?

Random Guy: O yes we do! Especially after masturbating.

Rakhi: Yippee!!!!

News Dose: Ok, now I’ll ask couple of questions to Rediff.com’s editor and the commenters (Indian Men) on that site.

Rediff: Don’t ask me anything. I’m just like the editor of Mumbai Mirror. A complete chowder head.

News Dose: So, the turn is of Indian Men.

Indian Men: Bring it Bitch!

News Dose: Why do you love Salman Khan so much?

Indian Men: Salman is like God to us. He is our role model. He is the one who teaches us how to be a pervert and have affair with girls who are almost half of our age. He also shows the holy path to beat up our girlfriends/wives and also to kill poor people and animals.

You should try his book, “1000 ways to beat your girlfriend and still remain out of jail”. I tell you, that book opened my eyes. I’ve tried all the methods mentioned in the book and I’m really proud of myself.

News Dose: And why do you hate Shahrukh so much?

Indian Men: He is the one who tells us how to respect your wife, kids and other ladies and how not to act like a pervert. He is not an INDIAN MAN. He is a disgrace to our INDIAN SOCIETY.

He is earning millions of dollars while we are sitting at our home and masturbating to Katrina’s, “Zara Zara Touch me”. This is unfair to pervert Indian men.

So, in order to cope up with this frustration, we say that he can’t act and he is over-rated while we are the ones who’ve never even acted in a single movie in our whole life and yet, we consider ourselves as the top actors.

But wait, we are the directors, you know how? We make mms scandals of our girlfriends/wives and upload it on desi sites. It is our first step to become Sanjay Leela Bhansali. PERVERT INDIAN MEN for the win!!

Random Guy: I would like to say something to Aamir. From where the hell did you come in this whole fight, huh! Trying to be a peace maker now? Die you useless creature created by God. You and Salman take a room and make a sex tape. And then send it to your gay fans. Die! Die!

News Dose: Before Random Guy does something stupid, we’ve to end this show. Thank you for watching and I hope you’ve learnt the lesson.

Don’t trust the Indian Media and don’t give a shit about this fight. There are more serious issues in this world than this.

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Serious note – All the stuff mentioned is made up by our astute writer who doesn’t have anything to do in life. If you didn’t like it then just don’t pay attention to it and move on.

And one thing to both actors, stop the fight and patch up. People love both of you.

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Also read – Bachna Ae Haseeno Movie Review

[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/ShahRukh_and_Salman_Khan_Fight]

Jul

Indian Politics – A True Wonder

newsdose

We all know about the Seven Wonders of the World, but if we get a chance to add one more item to that consequential list, then that would be, undoubtedly, The Indian Politics. It is one piece of shit which, we the people of India love to hate, even more than John Abraham’s acting, Rakhi Sawant’s annoying voice and Ekta Kapoor’s unpalatable serials.

Although maneuvering a country is reckoned to be the most important job, but in India, you don’t need to pass IIT, AIEEE or even the Fifth grade to enter in politics. All you need is to perpetrate couple of murders, ten rapes with additional 5 gang rapes for higher political positions, ability to backstab anyone at any given time even during masturbation, wherewithal to throw shoes, tomatoes etc at each other during parliament sessions and the last and the most important, knowledge to operate a basic computer with broadband connection in order to start Swiss accounts to deposit all the money robbed from poor people, download porn from desi sites and to write poisonous compact disks against other religions so as to start riots.

NewsDose: So, in order to make the youth of India more familiar with this cunt eating government job and the current problems of India, The News Dose in association with AajTak and CNN-IBN, has organized a special program for the viewers, “Indian Politics – Fuck Me? Fuck You!”

CNN-IBN: We would like to welcome all the politicians and the celebrities who cared to come on this show.

*Rented Youth audience ready with eggs, tomatoes, buckets full of piss and shit and DVDs of Tashan to throw at the politicians.*

NewsDose: So, we are going to start with the hot burning topic of the Nation, The Nuclear Deal, and the first question goes to CPIM leader, Sitaram Yechury, who is opposing this deal. Why are you so much against this deal?

Sitaram Yechury: Well, first of all I want to say that I don’t have any problem with the Congress. It is the US people whom I hate the most.

NewsDose: What is the reason behind so much hate?

Sitaram Yechury: I requested George W Bush to send me a copy of Playboy on my birthday, but he refused to do it. Then I asked the owner of the magazine, Hugh Hefner, to start the magazine in India. He also refused my request. You tell me, they can read our Love Book, The Kama sutra, then why can’t they start this titillating magazine for the perverts Indian men. Don’t you think it is unfair?

Rakhi Sawant: Yes, it is totally unfair for the Indian women too, especially like me. I also want to pose nude for the magazine so that Indian men can buy it and start playing with their dicks and then cum on my face, on my pictures that is.

Random Guy from the audience: Take off your clothes slut; I’ll shoot you with both my camera and my dick.

*Rakhi happy and taking the random guy in the corner*

Sonia Gandhi: I can be a Playboy model for you, if you agree to support us with nuclear deal, ok Sitaram?

Sitaram Yechury: Fuck Yeah! Now you are talking!

*Left and Congress celebrating*

CNN-IBN: Phew, one issue is solved. So, let’s move on to next issue, Inflation. Anyone wants to ask a question to Mr. Chidambaram?

Amar Singh: Yes, I’ve a question. Why prices of commodities are rising even faster than Abhishek’s dick, when he saw Aishwarya naked for the first time?

NewsDose: How do you know about Abhishek’s dick? Is there any sex tape that we don’t know?

Amar Singh: I know everything, you ass hole NewsDose. He is Amitabh’s son and genetically, their dick rising speed matches. And how do I know Amitabh’s speed? Well, we always share the room and kick out Jaya Bachan. I measured his speed when he saw me naked for the first time.

*Amar Singh and Amitabh blushing*

Amitabh: I hope all the youngsters sitting here are learning something.

Random Guy from the audience: Yeah oldie with a booby, I’ve learnt that, how to be a gay at the age of 60.

*Youngistan cheering for the Random Guy*

*Random guy again busy in shooting Rakhi Sawant*

NewsDose: Dr. Manmohan Singh, you are very quiet today, what is the deal?

Manmohan: Actually, Sonia madam has gone with Sitaram, so, I’m waiting for her to come and tell me what to speak.

AajTak: Where is the hell is, The Great Khali? He is not interested in politics? Damn! Listen guys, we’ve to make a one hour show on this issue. We’ll call it, “Khali tune kiya videshi slut ko kiss to bhool gaya India ki politics?”

Youngistan: Go and suck Khali’s dick, you motherfucking TV channel.

NewsDose: Ok, now we’ve Raghu Ram with us. He is here to ask the youth of India a couple of questions.

Raghu: Ok the guy in pink shirt, come here.

*Pinku going to stage*

Raghu: So tell me, what do you want to become in life?

Pinku: I want to clear IIT, AIEEE and all the entrance exams and then become an engineer.

Raghu: Great! Which engineer?

Pinku: Hmmm I haven’t decided it yet, I’m confused between software, mechanical, civil and Electronic. Can you give any suggestion? Don’t tell me to enter politics; I hate this piece of shit.

Raghu: Yes, I’ve a suggestion, go fuck yourself motherfucker. People like you are of no use to this country. I want to be an engineer, what engineer? I don’t know. This is the future of India? Go and die you cock sucker.

CNN-IBN: Cool down Raghu, they are just wannabe engineers just like Tusshar Kapoor, Zayed Khan and Katrina Kaif, who are wannabe actors.

Raghu: Yeah, I understand. Even those 20 sluts in Splitsvilla are better than these doltish assholes. At least, they know that they want to be money grubbing whores for the rest of their lives.

*Youngistan protesting against Raghu and NewsDose because becoming an Engineer or a Doctor is religion to them.*

Youngistan: You both assholes, you never cleared any exam yourself and you are telling us to do what with our lives? Die losers!

Raghu: We are doing this for the welfare of our country. We need creative minds, not coolies like you.

*Youngistan running after Raghu and NewsDose to kill them*

*Manmohan still waiting for Sonia Gandhi to come from her Playboy photo shoot, so that he can say something.*

*Random guy almost died after giving so many shots to Rakhi. She never gets satisfied.*

CNN-IBN: This is the end of the first part of our show, “Indian Politics- Fuck Me? Fuck You!” We’ll come back later with more politics, celebrities and latest scandals including Aarushi Murder case. Ciao.

[digg=http://digg.com/comedy/Indian_Politics_A_True_Wonder]

May

Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya – New Lesbian TV SHOW

newsdose

The growing craze of IPL has sabotaged the whole business of Reality Shows in India. Prior to IPL, you could see a new homosexual Reality Show every other day. Some of the prime examples of these shows are Star Voice of India, Indian Idol, KBC, Big Boss, Koffee with Karan. I got so inspired from this craze that even I tried to start my own TV Shows. I contacted India TV and they asked me to send some ideas about the shows. Here is a small list of the shows that I wanted to start…

1) Big Bitch
2) Kaun Banega Rakhi Sawant ka Pati (Host: Her used up condom boyfriend Abhishek)
3) Booze with Bobby Darling
4) Cunt Voice of India (Judges: Himesh Reshammiya, Anu Malik and a Dildo ready to fuck that cunt voice)
5) Kya aap Ass se tez hain? (Host: The Ass himself “Mahesh Bhatt”)

But sadly, IPL ruined my plans. But, Zee Television has decided to start their own lesbo Talk Show with Rakhi Sawant as the host. It is called “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”. The main motive behind this step is to destroy IPL with the help of big boobs of Rakhi, as this is what Indian Men crave for, even more than Cricket. Producer of the show asked me to see the shoot. How could I say no to such a momentous event in the history of FUCKED UP INDIAN TELEVISION? The show is expected to start with a bang like a gang bang, with as many as 11 stars together on the stage showing their banging skills. I went to the shooting and here is what I saw.

Rakhi: Welcome all of you to my pussy licking show, “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”.

Random guy from the rented audience: Die nameless Bitch!

* Rakhi blushing, Producer smiling as he thinks it’ll increase the TRP”

*TRP – Total Request Porn*

Rakhi: Thank you sir and I also welcome the Celebrity Guests of the evening.

*Rented audience clapping as they were given free booze and chicken to do this*

Rakhi: So my first question is for Shahrukh. How are you feeling after losing the battle of the favourite Krazzy 4 item number?

SRK: I didn’t lose the battle. I gave you the title…

Rakhi: Oh please, everyone knows that I’m the ITEM of Bollywood!

Random guy from rented audience: Yeah you’re the ITEM, how much do you charge for one night bitch?

Rakhi: Rs 10 for twosome sex, Rs 20 for threesome and Rs 30 for Group Sex…

Shambhavi(Roadie): I charge only Rs 5 coz I’d already fucked all the guys on MTV ROADIES

Bobby Darling: I’m free!

*Random guy confused between so many sluts*

Rakhi: Shut up Bitches; let’s move on to Hrithik… I heard you’re becoming a father for the second time… how are you feeling? Don’t you have any self-control?

Hrithik: Actually third baby is also coming…

Rakhi: Susan is having twins?

Hrithik: No, Actually I’m doing a kiss scene with this Hollywood slut…

Rakhi: Baby from a kiss?

Hrithik: This is how Indians make babies right? Raja Hindustani anyone?

Aamir: No piece of shit, I’m so perfect that no one came to know when I fucked Karishma… I’m the Number 1 MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Rakhi: Shut up you baldy shit.. Did you shave your pubes too?

Aamir: I shaved your pubes when YOU, ME AUR HUM were having a threesome

Rakhi: Fuck off… now let’s talk to Abhishek and Aishwarya… So Ash, tell us about your Big Boob Show at Cannes… What were you thinking? Trying to beat me in Boob size?

Aishwarya: I wanted to show Salman and Vivek “THE STUFF” that they’ve missed!!

Abhishek: I wanted to tell Rani Mukherjee and Karishma about “THE STUFF” that I got by marrying Ash!!

*A big pole is visible in Salman’s skinny jean while Rani is looking under her bra…*

*Random guy got caught masturbating to Ash’s Cannes picture*

*Aishwarya blushing, Rakhi Jealous…*

Rakhi: So Saif, you seem to be pretty angry about your sister’s pictures in the Maxim Magazine… Why were you not angry when Kareena did the same thing for FHM..?

Saif: Well, I’m Kareena’s dog and I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of her ex-dog “Shahid Kapoor”… I’m really insecure about Kareena… I get to fuck her in doggy-style you see!!

Kareena: Yeah, Saif is my dog, people put collars around their dogs, and I got him a tattoo saying “Kareena”…

*Rakhi impressed and now looking towards her dog Abhishek*

*Random guy still running from police with his cum on Ash’s picture*

Bobby Darling(dreaming): O yeah! O yeahhh!! Fuck me Shahid! Fuck me! Fuck me with your 3 inch dick!!

Rakhi: Wake up bitch from your faggot dream… and I think you told us the reason why Kareena left her ex-dog.

*Kareena proudly touching 4 inch dick of Saif*

Rakhi: So Raghu, first of all congrats for the success of Roadies 5.0, finally you gave two new sluts to Bollywood, “ANMOL and SHAMBHAVI”.. anyways what are your views about Aarushi Murder Case?

Raghu: I think they gave the case to CBI for further investigation..

Rakhi: Wait, CBI? CUNTLESS BITCHES INSTITUTE?

*Raghu bangs his head on the wall and starts crying*

Rakhi: Cry Baby… and how can we forget our Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor? How are you? You look really cute with each other… So how many times have you fucked each other?

Deepika: I’m still a virgin… I really love Ranbir and I’ll make love with him after our marriage…

*Random guy announces the latest mms scandal… Deepika giving Yuvraj a blow job*

*Deepika deleting Yuvraj’s naked wallpaper from her mobile*

* Now a pole is visible in Ranbir’s skinny jean*

And this is how the show ended. It was one hell of a night. No wonder it’ll beat IPL in TRP! Make sure to watch it and have a blast.

Rating – SHOW IS FOR ADULTS ONLY

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News to confirm the show
http://sify.com/movies/bollywood/fullstory.php?id=14681152
http://www.mid-day.com/web/guest/entertainment/bollywood/article?_EXT_5_articleId=1146774&_EXT_5_groupId=14
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