Archive for the Category »Akshay Kumar «

Apr

8 x 10 Tasveer

The very fact that Nagesh Kukunoor is directing a thriller is more than enough to go to watch 8 x 10 Tasveer. The director of critically acclaimed Hyderabad Blues and Iqbaal is back with a bang after his previous disappointing film, Bombay to Bangkok.

8 x 10 Tasveer is about Jai (Akshay Kumar), who has a natural ability to travel into past with the help of pictures. He uses this power to unfold the mystery of his father’s death. And this leads to very interesting moments and some great cinema.

Hero of the film, Nagesh

The concept is very interesting and Nagesh pulled it off very well. He had the vision to direct this movie unlike many directors who lack the vision to pull off an interesting concept. It is because of his sincere efforts that movie is worth watching. He has done his homework and he has made sure that you won’t leave the hall before the end. Two thumbs up for his direction.

But, Nagesh somewhat disappoints in the script department. 8 x 10 Tasveer takes its own time to grasp you completely and initial 20 minutes of the first half are responsible for it. Honestly, the first half is weak and juvenile dialogues don’t help either. But, the second half is the USP of the movie.

The climax of the movie can be disappointing for some of you but the majority in the hall liked it. There were claps during the last 20 minutes and to honest, I have mixed feelings about the climax.

I’ve one complaint against him and that is shameless brand advertising of “Godrej” in the movie. I mean, come on, this looks really cheap and kills the whole fun. You can earn money from the tickets, don’t do it in your next movie.

Technical Department

8 x 10 Tasveer is technically perfect. Mostly shot in Canada, movie looks great with some awesome visuals. Cinematography of Vikas Sivaraman is top notch and he has left no stones unturned. And this brings us to music department.

There are only 3 songs, “Nazaara Hai” in the opening credits, “Kuchh Is Tarah” used as background song and “I Got The Picture” in the credits. Nazaara Hai is my favorite of all the three, primarily because of Vishal’s superb singing.

The background score by Salim-Sulaiman is prodigious. It is perfect of the movie and plays a vital role in setting up the mood of the film. Good job, Salim-Sulaiman.

The Actors

To be very frank, I’m disappointed from Akshay Kumar. The intensity, the charisma, and the sincerity which we see in his other films were clearly missing in 8 x 10 Tasveer. This movie was a perfect opportunity to prove himself as a great actor but he clearly missed it. He is carrying almost a single expression throughout the movie. The scenes which involve waking up from sleep or shocks of nightmares were poorly executed by him. I expected a lot from you, Akshay.

Other actors such as Ayesha Takia, Sharmila Tagore, Benjamin Gilani, Ananth Mahadevan and Rushaad Rana were alright in their small roles. Javed Jaffrey who plays the detective in the movie deserves a special mention. He provides a comedy element in the movie and he does it gracefully.

And what’s with the Canadian actors? None of them knew ABC of acting. Please go for professional actors so that these amateurs don’t kill the fun. And honestly, the actors involved in the initial 20 minutes were partly responsible for the weak first half.

Verdict

8 x 10 Tasveer is a great thriller and a technically perfect film. The hero of the movie, indubitably, is Nagesh Kukunoor. 8 x 10 Tasveer works because of his direction and vision. Akshay Kumar has wasted a wonderful opportunity to prove himself. Considering, there are no releases in the next two three weeks due to Producers – Multiplex war, 8 x 10 has an amiable chance to score at the box office. It is one of the best movies to come out in 2009. A big thumbs up, go watch it!

Rating –

Cast – Akshay Kumar, Ayesha Takia, Sharmila Tagore

Music Director – Salim-Sulaiman

Movie Director – Nagesh Kukunoor

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them.

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Jan

Chandni Chowk To China Movie Review

newsdose

Chandni Chowk To China

Chandni Chowk To China, 2009’s first big release, starring Akshay Kumar, Deepika Padukone, and Ranvir Shorey, finally hit the big screen. Chandni Chowk To China was expected to break all the box office collections but the record collections of Ghajini set a new a bar for this film. Hype around the movie is good and we can expect some great news for Bollywood trade analysts.

Produced by Warner Bros, this is Nikhil Advani’s first directorial project after the not so good, Salaam-E-Ishq. And he doesn’t leave the opportunity to include a clipping of the film in this one. Looks like he also got the fever of mentioning his old work just like Yash Raj Films, Dhoom anyone? But let’s not talk about that, and let’s review Chandni Chowk To China.

Synopsis

Chandni Chowk To China is about the story of a nincompoop named Sidhu (Akshay Kumar), living in the crowded area of Chandni Chowk, and is a cook by profession. His problem is that he believes too much in luck and doesn’t want to work hard to achieve success. In short, he wants fame and money easily, just like our Indian youth, who audition for Roadies every year in search of fame. But our Sidhu doesn’t have Roadies, so he spends most of his time in buying lottery, and showing his hand to astrologers.

And with this, Chopstick (Ranvir Shorey) comes into the picture, who takes the advantage of Sidhu’s ingenuousness by stealing money from him. But Sidhu’s Dada (Mithun Chakraborty) tells him to work hard and not believe in this non-sense. Fair Enough.

But Sidhu’s destiny changes when some Chinese from a village come to India in search of their great warrior, Liu Shengh, who is supposed to be re-incarnated as Sidhu. They want him to kill the villain of the movie, Hojo, who is ruling their village. Phew! That’s just too much stuff. But there is a whole story of Deepika Padukone, playing the role of Saki, who believes that her father and twin sister, played also by her as Meow, are still alive. Don’t blame me if you’re confused.

Action is bad!

Enough of the story, let’s see how the film fairs. First things first, Chandni Chowk To China is a hybrid of Bollywood’s 80s melodrama and Chinese action movies. Some of the sequences remind me of the famous movie, Shaolin Soccer. Action is supposed to be the UPS of the movie since it is based on Kung-Fu, but it really comes close to our Rajnikant style action, for example; with one kick, Akshay Kumar can almost cause a Tsunami and blows the big boats in air, you know what I’m saying?

Confused director

Another thing which goes against the film is the confusion of the director. He doesn’t know if he wants to make it a comedy or a drama or non-brainer action film. For example; in one scene we see all of them trying to make us laugh and in the very next scene we see a river coming out of Deepika Padukone’s eyes in the form of tears, well not literally. There is no consistency in the scenes. In short there is a chaos of emotions in the movie.

Director also tries to spoof the shopping network programs, which we see often on various channels, but sadly, he falls flat on his face. There was nothing funny about it and Deepika ends up looking like an idiot, which maybe was intentional.

Technical Depratment

Dubbing is seriously third class, even if we cut out the Chinese part, dubbing sucks big time. You can clearly see them saying different dialogues or nothing at all, but you can still hear dialogues. That’s a shame! How about doing us a favor and start using sync-sound technology? Editing really needs some work and some scenes are really not required which increase the length of the movie for no reason.

Most of the songs are used as background scores, which is a good thing, except Chandni Chowk to China. Songs are good, which I already mentioned in my music review. The Rap song is used in the end credits. Chak Lein De is the best in the movie. Cinematography is great, and scenes of Great Wall of China are beautifully captured.

Performances are top class

Performance of Akshay Kumar is top notch. I’ve no complaints against him. He gives his 100% in the movie and his efforts clearly shows. Character of Sidhu looks totally natural on him, and his comedy talents shine again. Ranvir Shorey is not wasted in the movie, like he was wasted in Singh is Kinng, and he shows his talents again and proves why he is one of the best actors of our times. Mithun Da is good as usual, you can clearly see the same intensity in his role which we saw in Guru.

But Deepika Padukone shines as Meow. Her role oozes hotness in every frame and that Chinese make up and long hair, hotness at its best. She’s really good in action scenes, too. It looks like we found another action chick after Priyanka Chopra. I would love to see her doing more action roles. Her performance as Saki is average and sometimes, she really over acts.

Verdict

Chandni Chowk To China is not a great cinema, intellectually, but can be entertaining watch. It’s undoubtedly better than Singh is Kinng and Welcome. Akshay Kumar shines again, with Ranvir Shorey who gives a power house performance. Deepika Padukone is great as Meow but she really needs to work on crying scenes.

Technical department of the film fails, especially in editing and dubbing. About 15 minutes could have been cut easily. Movie is filled with a lot of loopholes and script writer is to be blamed here.

Nikhil Advani really needs to work on his direction. I wonder how he made Kal Ho Na Ho. If Karan Johar ghost directed the movie then I can understand. If they’re making a sequel of this then please improve the action scenes. Show us some Bourne style or James Bond style stuff.

And do watch out for the products they sell in the movie, a machine which can translate any language, an umbrella which can be used as a parachute and can also be used as protection against weapons, I only wonder what material they use because it really contradicts both the uses. And yeah, there is one machine which can make you dance, which is good for guys, who want to impress girls. Only if they were true, sigh!

Rating –

Cast – Akshay Kumar, Deepika Padukone, Mithun Chakraborty, Ranvir Shorey

Music Director – Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Movie Director – Nikhil Advani

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them and vote in the poll.

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4. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.
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Category: Akshay Kumar, Entertainment, Uncategorized Tags: Akshay Kumar, Chak Lein De, Chandni Chowk To China, Chandni Chowk To China Movie Review, Chandni Chowk To China review, Deepika Padukone, Entertainment, Great Wall of China, Mithun Chakraborty, movie review, Nikhil Advani, Priyanka Chopra, Ranvir Shorey, Salaam-E-Ishq 6 Comments

Dec

Chandni Chowk To China Music Review

newsdose

Chandni Chowk To China, to be released next year, is already making news for its subject and treatment. Starring Akshay Kumar and Deepika Padukone in the lead, this movie is expected to rock the box office collection. Moreover, it’s produced by Warner Bros. who are looking for their first in India after debacle Saas Bahur aur Sensex.

The soundtrack of Chandni Chowk To China is indeed very interesting. Shankar Ehsaan Loy gives their second best soundtrack of the year after the momentous Rock On!! The Chinese influence in the soundtrack is a nice touch and brings something new to the table. The soundtrack of Chandni Chowk To China comprises of 6 original tracks and 2 remixes.

1. S.I.D.H.U

Well, S.I.D.H.U is not your average track because it has lively lyrics and superb singing by Kailash Kher. Somewhere in the song you’ll also laugh because of the funny lyrics. From the song you can get the idea of the condition of Akshay Kumar in the movie. Music is of classical genre but you’ll not be bored for 1 second mainly because of lyrics and Kailash. I know I’m talking about the lyrics a lot but seriously, you’ll love the song once you listen to it.

2. Chandni Chowk To China

After the superb S.I.D.H.U, here comes the second winner of the soundtrack, the title song, Chandni Chowk To China, which was released as a song promo few days back. It starts off really well with the hip-hop music and the Chinese touch as I mentioned earlier. But I wish they’d kept it that way only during the whole song but they introduce the Indian touch after a minute. It’s not that it kills the song but I would have preferred it as Hip-Hop + Chinese song. Neeraj, Shankar, and Anushka do a splendid job in the song. A chart-buster hands down.

3. India Se Aaya Tera Dost

After a superb run, here come a letdown in the form of India Se Aaya Tera Dost, sung by Bappi Lahiri and Ravi K Tripathi. What is Bappi Lahiri doing in the song? Moreover, he can’t pronounce “Salaam” properly. Add to that 6:29 minute length of the song, this song is a big no-no!

4.Tere Naina

Tere Naina is superb, that would be an understatement for this song. Sung superbly by Shankar Mahadevan and Shreya Ghoshal, Tere Naina will catch your attention from the first listen only. Music is so good that sometimes I feel that I’m in the future while listening to it. I know it sounds stupid but seriously, there is something really good about this song. Best song of the soundtrack hands down and kudos to SEL for giving us such a fabulous track.

5. Chak Lein De

While S.I.D.H.U was a superb song by Kailash, Chak Lein De on the other hand is an above average song. It you listen to it 4 or 5 times it’ll surely grow on you mainly because of the lyrics and santoor in the song. Kailash gives the right amount of energy required for the song and makes it worth a listen.

6. C C 2 C

Now here we have Akhsay Kumar trying to rap in Punjabi with Punjabi rapper Bohemia. Sounds interesting, right? But Akshay is a big letdown in this one. You can clearly figure out that Akshay is trying so hard to rhyme but it’s not working at all. He sounds like a wannabe. Add to that self-proclaimed lyrics “Saara Bollywood ek mera koi nahi mel, acting karne chale hazaroon baadshah ek baaki saare fail.” This is not a very good idea Mr. Akshay Kumar. You sound really arrogant.

Verdict

Chandni Chowk To China is a sure shot winner for Shankar Ehsaan Loy and for the entire team of the movie. It’s a really fresh soundtrack with great lyrics and superb singing. Tere Naina clearly stands out and will be loved by all. Title track and S.I.D.H.U are two chart-buster songs and rest of the stuff is just average material. Also check out the covers of Chandni Chowk To China, Deepika looks stunning in her two avatars.

Rating –

Cast – Akshay Kumar, Deepika Padukone, Mithun Chakraborty, Ranvir Shorey

Music Director – Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Movie Director – Nikhil Advani

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them and vote in the poll.

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1. Terrorist Attacks in Mumbai – So what did we lose and won in this attack? What to do next? Find Out!

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3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.
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Nov

Who is the King of Bollywood?

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Day after day, I see every other Bollywood website commenting on who is the real King of Bollywood. It’s like the burning topic for the country, even more than why that “wannabe assassinator” from Bihar got shot, or why Politicians of India are not even leaving the chance to play politics on his death, or when will Raj Thackeray die, or the best question, why a BLACK Obama is going to the WHITE house? I mean these are serious questions, right? Especially the last one if you are a racist.

To the poor souls, who participate in the fight of “King of Bollywood” and ma$turbate while sitting in front of their PCs in lieu of doing something productive, I’m going to clear your doubts for once and all. To those lucky souls who never got to see such discussions, here is a sample of what happens in the fight.

But first, you’ve to realize that they fight as if they are those actors, so don’t be surprised about their use of language.

Here is a log of the fight.

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*Akshay Kumar Fan (AK) joined the chat on his virtual scooter with a slogan “Indian audience love brainless comedies coz they don’t have a brain”, while Shahrukh Fan (SRK) is smoking despite the ban on smoking in public chat rooms by Internet Health Minister, P0rn Lover.*

*Aamir Khan Fan (A) is busy in writing a blog entry about his love for dogs and about his new pappu, I mean puppy, Imran Khan. News Dose (ND), on the other hand, is wasting time on Orkut, Facebook, Twitter and other countless social networking sites in trying to make contacts with hot girls.*

AK: So SRK, I heard music of your new movie, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, just got released and I also heard that NewsDose gave it 5 stars. He sounds like a Fan of yours. It’s biased.

SRK: Yeah, so? It deserves it.

AK: O c’mon, you know songs suck. I mean, a harmonium in the song, really? In which year are you living? 1950? Where is the hip-hop and hot b!tches? Show me some bling and Snoop Dogg, nigga.

SRK: It would be totally inappropriate coz I’m playing a boring character in the movie just like I’m in real life. I’m boring, unromantic, and with a white hair.

AK: Yeah right! You’re boring, that’s why I’m the King of Bollywood. You know why youth loves me? Because I give them Katrina Kaif, showing her cleavage and hot a$$, on which they can drool so that they don’t give a $hit about the story.

SRK: And I give them Deepika Padukone, who changes her boyfriend every other day. I’m pretty sure Anushka will follow her footsteps.

*AK thinking – “Damn! That’s true. I don’t have any more $luts. Shilpa Shetty doesn’t talk to me now. $hit.”*

*ND drooling over the pictures of hot girls while Aamir’s fan is uploading the pictures of Aamir Khan using Imran Khan to get girls*

*After 10 seconds pause*

AK: You know what? You $uck. I’m the king. I gave 4 back to back hits.

SRK: So did me.

AK: But I gave them in one year. And guess what? I’m getting 100 crores for new movie. HA! Beat that, you @$$hole.

SRK: Any proof?

*Pause for 10 seconds*

AK: You know what? I’m getting 100 crores and that’s it. I’m the King and King is always right.

*Aamir’s fan realizes that Aamir is losing the battle*

Aamir: Hey! How the hell can you forget me? I’m the perfectionist! Muhahahaha!

SRK: And here comes the baldy.

Aamir: What did you call me? You’re a piece of my dog’s $hit, you know that?

AK: Great going, Aamir. Let’s kill him together. HAHA

Aamir: What are you laughing about, you brainless creature. Watch my movies someday and learn some story telling from it. I’m the best!

AK: Then why does your new movie, Ghajini, looks like a tamil movie? And hey, I thought we were together in this battle against SRK.

Aamir: I don’t need anyone, that’s why I kicked Amol from Taare Zameen Par and took all the credit. I’m the real KING. I’ll do the same thing for Ghajini, if it succeeds on box office.

SRK: Give me a break; you are an Idiot of 3 idiots. A dumb@$$.

*Suddenly, Salman Khan’s Fan enters the room in his virtual car and with a picture of Aishwarya in his one hand and his other hand is somewhere down.*

*ND is still busy in collecting the pictures of hot girls*

SK: What the hell is going on? *Closing the zip of his pants*

AK: Ah! Three SRK haters now. It’s fun. Tell him who’s the King, Salman.

SK: I don’t know but it is not SRK. He is one selfish guy who took my Katrina to Dubai on Diwali while I was bursting my crackers alone in my bed, if you know what I mean.

Aamir: Just like you were bursting in your car with Aishwarya’s picture?

SK: Totally, I still remember those good old days. Damn you Abhishek. Anyway, SRK is gay and spends his time with KJO.

*ND completes his collection of hot pictures of hot girls and returns to the chat room.*

*ND reads the whole conversation and decides to act responsibily.*

ND: Why do you guys always fight with each other? Don’t you have anything to do in life?

AK: Yeah, like what? Giving SRK’s movie biased reviews and 5 star ratings, and giving 2 stars to mine? F*ck you.

SK: Yeah, I think SRK gives u his thing behind your thing, if you know what I mean.

ND: Listen people, all those superstars don’t even know you. They’re earning millions and you are wasting your time.

AK: Get lost, you d!ckhead. Let us fight. This is our life and this is what we do.

*SRK, Aamir, and SK say the same thing*

ND: But…

All: Get out, you @#$@%@#^$^$^##%@%@#@

*ND quits the room and now writing a new blog entry about Obama while all 4 morons are still fighting*

So, you see, this is what happens in a so called debate over “The King of Bollywood.” One piece of advice, never participate in such fight coz chances are that you’ll be addicted to it.

And for those poor souls, as I promised earlier and as THE ROCK will say, “It doesn’t matter who’s the KING OF BOLLYWOOD.”

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Do you have any experience of these fights? Do you want to comment on the article or present your views on who’s the real king? Comment box is below. Go for it!
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1. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.

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Aug

Why is India a loser in Olympics?

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Let’s face the facts; India is the second largest populated country in the world with a population of almost 1 billion. But still, we are unable to produce 11 men who can play some decent football or athletes who can win medals in the Olympics.

It’s sad but it’s true. Even countries like Jamaica perform superior in Olympics than India and it’s a shame for all of us. Hockey used to be our best bet in the Olympics to win Gold medal but we are now out of that too. So whom should we blame for the present conditions of Indian Sports, and how to put a kibosh on these discountenance conditions?

The first reason that comes to mind is the negligence of the other sports due to Cricket. Honestly, I was a big fan of cricket when I was a kid but now, all I see is 11 men running after a ball as if it is one of their balls, if you know what I mean.

The media attention and money given to Cricket players are like a dream for other athletes and if you want to know what it feels like then imagine sleeping with Deepika Padukone in real life but you can’t get her because she is already in bed with Ranbir Kapoor. Sounds unpalatable, right?

Indian media follows cricketers even if they are going to a dentist just like India TV followed MS Dhoni. Due to so much coverage, cricketers always have a pressure to perform well during the matches. But as we all know, no news channel give a shit about athletes, so they don’t bother at all. Even if they win, then also Indian media don’t give a shit.

The other example of Cricket scoring over other sports would be IPL. Everyone knows how much money was spent on the teams and players. Celebrities like Shahrukh Khan, Katrina Kaif, Akshay Kumar, Preity Zinta made a presence during the matches and business tycoons like Mukesh Ambani, Vijay Malya gave so much money to their teams.

If they spend half of that amount on the improvement of other sports, then it would change the whole scenario over-night. Did I mention the cheerleaders that cricketers get? They can definitely motivate the players to perform well. You know the saying, “Behind every successful man, there is a HOT woman with big boobs”.

Enough of the cricket, now let’s move to real culprits, the Sports authorities. Everyone knows that they simply don’t give a fuck about the players. The prime example of this would be the doping case of Monika Devi, who was tested positive during a test. Now she has been freed from those charges but sadly, she can’t take part in the Olympics because it’s too late. This shows how much serious the authorities are.

And God knows what happens to the money that government gives to the authorities to improve the standards. From some particular reason, I believe that all the people working in these committees take that money and put into their Swiss accounts while players are starving on the roads.

The perfect portrayal of this system was in Chak De India, but still, our corrupt authorities are not ashamed of themselves for not having fucking morals and honesty just like Anees Bazmee and Akshay Kumar, who gave us, Singh is Kinng.

As a repercussion of all this, students and sports enthusiastic prefer to keep themselves away from all these sports and concentrate on becoming cricketers, which further downgrade the standards of Indian sports.

At the time of writing, India has already lost a number of competitions in Beijing Olympics 2008, which is a disgrace. Let’s hope our athletes will win some medals and make the head of 1 billion people proud. And I hope some honest politicians like Rahul Gandhi would do something about the state of Indian sports, before it’s too late.

The question is what do you think about this whole issue? What are your views? Who do you think is the culprit? Is it the government, sports authorities or cricket? Post your comments and I’ll put the best ones in the post.

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Aug

Singh is Kinng Movie Review

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How many times have you heard those Santa Banta jokes? I know, a lot of times. But now people might include one more character to Santa Banta and make it trio and that character would be Happy Singh from the movie Singh is Kinng.

Singh is Kinng

Singh is Kinng is about a halfwit Sikh guy, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar), from a village in Punjab who always cause trouble to village people and they are vexed by his unique ability to cause troubles. So, in order to get rid of him, they pack-off him to Australia to bring underworld King, Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood), back to their village. There he lands into various troubles and meet the love of his life, Sonia (Katrina Kaif), who is already committed.

This is the general outline of the film and to be honest, it is not that “original”. Singh is Kinng is filled with serendipities and misunderstandings. Add a lot of toilet jokes to it, and there you have a typical Anees Bazmee movie. His last movie, Welcome, was a big success, but the same thing can’t be said about the reviews from both the critics and the audience. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out IMDB.com, there it only got 5.4/10 rating from 825 votes.

But that was the past, now let’s get back to Singh is Kinng. Honestly speaking, Singh is Kinng is a very competent idea of the director to make huge money, just like with Welcome, without even giving a damn about the audience who pays a lot to watch an amiable and sensible comedy.

From the title of the movie, you expect it to have some different approach to portray Sikhs in the Bollywood movies unlike those movies in which Sikhs are represented as cretinous (idiots). But no, this movie is the same like those movies. I’m a person who believes in providing full liberty to the artist to express his opinions, even if they offend someone.

But, if you give a title Singh is Kinng to a movie, then I expect you to justify the title of the movie. Sadly, this is not the case with this one. No doubt, this movie would be a big hit, but when it comes to morals and honesty towards your work, it falls flat.

Performances

Akshay Kumar

He is undoubtedly the king of comedies and he is proving his worth with every movie. He really gets into the character of Happy Singh, and delivers it with brilliance.

But again, I’ve one question for him. I know you are a popular star now, but why are you pretending to care about the Sikhs? You go on blabbering about Singh is Kinng on award shows and promotional events, but where is your honesty towards the subject?

Just say that, “I only want to make money out of it and I don’t give a shit about anything else. I want to be the King of Bollywood.”

You should use your popularity to do some movies that can send some good message among the youth of India instead of doing such cheap movies. That is the difference between you and Aamir Khan and ShahRukh Khan.

Katrina Kaif

Please someone tell this girl to stop acting. This is one of the worst performances I’ve seen in a long time. She can even make Ayesha Takia’s performance in De Taali as an Oscar worthy performance.

I know you’ve the looks that can make any guy want to be with you in bed and believe me, directors and producers are using you for this reason only. You don’t stand anywhere close to the other female actors in terms of acting like Vidya Balan, Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor, hell you are even worse than Aishwarya Rai and I’m really serious about this.

Please go to some good acting school and learn some acting. You’re just an eye candy in the movies and I don’t think it is a good sign for your career.

Supporting Cast

I’m really mad about the wastage of Ranvir Shorey in this movie. He is one of the best actors to come out from Bollywood in recent times. Why did you waste such a wonderful talent in your movie, Anees Bazmee?

Om Puri shares a good chemistry with Akshay and gives an above average performance. Kirron Kher really stands out in the movie. Javed Jaffrey, Neha Dhupia and Sonu Sood give average performances.

Final Words – Singh is Kinng is your average Akshay Kumar entertainer. Go to the cinema hall without your brain and you’ll enjoy it, although chances are less. Akshay Kumar carries this movie on his shoulders. If you are a diehard fan of Akshay Kumar, then it would be a perfect treat for you. And if you are not, better wait it to come on TV.

One advice to Anees Bazmee – Please stop making such stupid movies and use your talent in a better way. I know you want to make a lot of money, but please, don’t do it on the expense of someone’s feelings and yes, I’m talking about Sikhs. Have some morals and I’m talking to you too, Akshay!

I’m not a religious fanatic and I simply don’t care about anything but not everyone is like me. But I can bet that many Sikh groups would be pissed at this movie. I was going through the reviews of the movie and found one on Sikhnet. Do read it and you’ll see what they think about this one.

Verdict – If brainless and toilet humor is your taste of a good comedy then go watch it. Be my guest. But if your taste is opposite to mentioned above then refrain yourself from this one.

Box-office result – It would be a big hit as I mentioned earlier, considering the hype around this movie. But sometimes, there is something more than just money which is certainly not true for both the director and the actors.

Rating – 2 out of 5

Your views – Post your reviews on the movie as comments in the box below. Or if you’ve something against my review then also post it. I would be glad to reply to it.

Note to readers – I’m not saying that performance of Akshay Kumar was bad or something, I’m just saying that there was no story at all, humor was cheap and it didn’t justify the title of the movie and the promises it made. You can always read the reviews of other critics like that of Rajeev Masand of CNN-IBN.

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Must Read – Why is India a loser in Olympics? – Find out why and give your views.

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Jul

ShahRukh and Salman Khan Fight

newsdose

Since the man started walking on this Earth, there have been only wars and wars, be it for money, Aishwarya Rai’s husband position, some so called holy place “Kashmir”, or over the Indo-US Nuclear Deal. The prime examples of these wars would be Indo-Pakistani War, War between Rakhi Sawant and Kashmira Shah on Big Boss, fight between Salman, Vivek and Abhishek, or that famous one between Shilpa Shetty and Jade Goody, but, none of them had generated such controversy in the Indian Media as Shah Rukh and Salman fight did.

According to our very own trust-worthy news channels, there was a spat between Shah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan on the birthday party of Katrina Kaif, which was orchestrated by Salman Khan. But, as we all know the true nature of our Sallu Bhai, he couldn’t resist himself from taking shots at Shahrukh. As of now, no one knows what exactly took place between the two Khans, as every newspaper and news channel is giving different story, thus, maintaining the HIGH STANDARDS of Indian news.

But, we at The News Dose, decided to find out what exactly happened. So, in order to achieve the target, we contacted our very own shit jabbering bitch, Rakhi Sawant and asked her to do a show especially for us.

Ladies and their pervert Husbands, I, Rakhi Sawant, would like to welcome you to my chat show, Rakhi 007, on the famous news channel, The News Dose.

Random Guy from crowd: You still alive? I thought I killed you last week after raping you in front of your boyfriend, Abhishek, while he was masturbating to your rape. President of India even gave me Padma Shri for doing this. Fuck!

Rakhi: Don’t be silly, getting raped by perverts like you is my day to day job. Anyways, we’ve lots of celebrities in my show. We’re going to discuss about Shahrukh and Salman fight.

Salman: Shut the fuck up. Where is my alcohol? Don’t you know I can’t live without it even for 2 minutes?

Katrina: Don’t drink please my Sallu, otherwise you would call me Aishwarya Rai and start humping me again. I have feelings you know!

Salman: Feelings my @$$, you can’t even act properly. You’re just an eye-candy in movies.

Akshay Kumar: That’s right. Films score on box-office just because of me, I’m the King.

Rakhi: Stop it please. So, Shahrukh and Salman, what happened that night?

Shahrukh: Here is the conversation took place that night

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Salman: You know what? You and Karan Johar, both of you are gays.

Shahrukh: And you are a dog of Aishwarya and Katrina.

Salman: O please! I’m the King and everyone knows that.

Shahrukh: Yeah right! You’re the queen of Akshay Kumar.

Akshay: Yes, you are my queen. Let’s go, our room is waiting for us baby.

Aamir: Hey!! How could you guys forget me? I’m the perfectionist! You both suck balls of Karan and Akshay.

Salman: And you use your gay nephew Imran Khan to introduce yourself to sluts, right Aamir?

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Rakhi: Ok, that sounds believable. I believe anything in which people insult Aamir.

Aamir: Die you slut!

Rakhi: Shut up baldy. Now, we’ll do something different. We’ve the editor of Mumbai Mirror, the newspaper which published this news first.

Editor: Thank you, thank you.

Random guy: Fuck you moron, I wiped my ass with your newspaper, you know that?

Editor: Yes, this is why we publish our newspaper. It helps to clean and see your ass. That is why there is Mirror in the name.

News Dose: Why did you publish such atrocious news without even checking the real story?

Editor: This is because our team is filled with nincompoops who like to write stuff using their ghoulish creativity, just like News Dose. Moreover, it helps people to wipe their asses, which is our main motive.

Rakhi: Do people wipe their penis when you publish something about me?

Random Guy: O yes we do! Especially after masturbating.

Rakhi: Yippee!!!!

News Dose: Ok, now I’ll ask couple of questions to Rediff.com’s editor and the commenters (Indian Men) on that site.

Rediff: Don’t ask me anything. I’m just like the editor of Mumbai Mirror. A complete chowder head.

News Dose: So, the turn is of Indian Men.

Indian Men: Bring it Bitch!

News Dose: Why do you love Salman Khan so much?

Indian Men: Salman is like God to us. He is our role model. He is the one who teaches us how to be a pervert and have affair with girls who are almost half of our age. He also shows the holy path to beat up our girlfriends/wives and also to kill poor people and animals.

You should try his book, “1000 ways to beat your girlfriend and still remain out of jail”. I tell you, that book opened my eyes. I’ve tried all the methods mentioned in the book and I’m really proud of myself.

News Dose: And why do you hate Shahrukh so much?

Indian Men: He is the one who tells us how to respect your wife, kids and other ladies and how not to act like a pervert. He is not an INDIAN MAN. He is a disgrace to our INDIAN SOCIETY.

He is earning millions of dollars while we are sitting at our home and masturbating to Katrina’s, “Zara Zara Touch me”. This is unfair to pervert Indian men.

So, in order to cope up with this frustration, we say that he can’t act and he is over-rated while we are the ones who’ve never even acted in a single movie in our whole life and yet, we consider ourselves as the top actors.

But wait, we are the directors, you know how? We make mms scandals of our girlfriends/wives and upload it on desi sites. It is our first step to become Sanjay Leela Bhansali. PERVERT INDIAN MEN for the win!!

Random Guy: I would like to say something to Aamir. From where the hell did you come in this whole fight, huh! Trying to be a peace maker now? Die you useless creature created by God. You and Salman take a room and make a sex tape. And then send it to your gay fans. Die! Die!

News Dose: Before Random Guy does something stupid, we’ve to end this show. Thank you for watching and I hope you’ve learnt the lesson.

Don’t trust the Indian Media and don’t give a shit about this fight. There are more serious issues in this world than this.

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Serious note – All the stuff mentioned is made up by our astute writer who doesn’t have anything to do in life. If you didn’t like it then just don’t pay attention to it and move on.

And one thing to both actors, stop the fight and patch up. People love both of you.

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Also read – Bachna Ae Haseeno Movie Review

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