It was A Wednesday. After 62 hours of horrifying bloodshed, 172 deaths, 293 injured people and undoubtedly, the biggest terrorist attack in the history of India, we are left with a lot of unanswered questions.

Gandhi Ji said, “agar vo ek gaal pe mare ton doosra gaal aage kar do” and our Munnabhai said “agar vo doosri baar bhi mare to fir se gaal aage kar do”, but no one told us what to do if they hit us three times and my theory says if they do it for the third time then it’s time to cut the bullshit and kick them in the balls so that they won’t ever get up again.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a firm believer of Gandhi but after three terrorist attacks on Mumbai and innumerable attacks on the whole India, this theory doesn’t work. Time has changed since the independence days and this theory should change, too. We’re now facing even worse enemies and thousands of people are dying almost daily because of those enemies.

The recent attack on Mumbai was an eye-opener to where we stand on the scale of security. Those bastards just came and blew everything up in Taj and Oberoi hotels just like that. And what did we do? Nothing! We were waiting for the NSG to arrive to Mumbai from New Delhi. Honestly, this is the most embarrassing thing for the Indian force.

Why don’t we have forces like SWAT in every state? Moreover, the weapons Mumbai policemen were carrying were pathetic. In which age are they living? 1950? Our government has so much money and we don’t have any sophisticated weapons that can kick the ass of terrorists? That’s shameful.

According to media reports, our Police officials knew that terrorists were coming from the sea route to attack Mumbai and still we were not able to stop them? That’s even more disgusting. Now this brings us to the politicians of India. These all are son of bitches, aren’t they? We just faced one of the worst massacre and they are too busy in blame game and asking ministers to resign.

That’s really imbecilic because resigning doesn’t make any difference. It’s the whole system that needs to be changed. It’s time to bury the “interrogate the criminal system”, it should be shoot on sight. If we implement it then only terrorists will have some kind of fear from the government.

And, the Human Rights of India need to shut the fuck up for some time now. If we don’t kill them then they’ll kill us. It’s a do or die situation now.

I’m missing Raj Thackrey the most right now, the so called “Savior of Mumbai”. After the attacks, he didn’t speak a thing. I’ve one question for him. What would you want to say to the North Indian force which saved the ass of Mumbai? I hope you’ve learnt your lesson and I wish that you won’t try to divide the Indians on the basis of state.

Now the question is what to do next? The recent news is that the Indian government asked Pakistan to handover Dawood Ibrahim and Masood Azhar to India. Well, that’s a pretty smart move considering there is a lot of pressure on Pakistan from all over the world. If Pakistan tries to fuck with us then they’ll be in deep trouble. It’s the right time to make them do anything we want. It’s time to nail Pakistan.

And how can we forget those brave soldiers who sacrificed their precious lives for our safety? Salute to all those martyrs and their families. God bless their soul and give them peace. This shows that no matter which motherfucker we are facing, we’ll win. I hope all this trauma will awake the youth of India and inspire them to do something for India in lieu of smoking, drinking and doing drugs.

It’s the time to show unity, it doesn’t matter from which state you are, or what’s your religion. If we’ll stand strong now then only we’ll able to defeat those terrorists. Their motive is to divide us and create chaos, they are the agents of anarchy and we’ve to stop them.

But we’ll never forget this entire trauma, we’ll never forget those martyrs, we’ll never forget 172 people who died in this incident, we’ll never forget those 62 hours of bloodshed, and we certainly will never forget that day, it was A Wednesday.

Do you want to say something on the recent terrorist attacks? Do you want to say “Fuck you” to terrorists and Indian politicians? Post it in the comment box. I’ll post the best comments in the post. Also, vote in the poll.

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If that was not enough, police found more than 19 bombs in Surat, and the number is still rising in different cities. Before we start blaming the terrorists, we’ve to see what our Police and Intelligence services are doing and honestly, I really doubt their intelligence. They can even put our Pappu, who is Paanchvi fail, to mortification and yes, I’m again referring to “Kya Aap Paanchvi Paas se Tez Hain?”

If Pappu can dance salla then why can’t you protect our country, assholes?

Before going to terrorists, let us talk about our mutton headed politicians. And this time, to make their head proud and to maintain the doltish standards of Indian Politicians, Sushma Swaraj, the ugly bitch, started blaming UPA for the blasts. Let me tell you something Sushma, if you can’t help our country and solace the victims in anyway then you better shut the fuck up and sit down on your dirty ass.

Icing on the cake was that no other leader of BJP came in support of her statement. Mr. LK Advani, the guy who is almost ready to go to his grave, was silent and didn’t give any statement on the whole blame game. But, during the parliament session, he was shouting as if his life was dependent upon it.

The one and only one good thing that happened during the whole scene was the unity of Manmohan Singh and Narendra Modi, even if it was for a short time.

Before talking about terrorists and their motives, let us talk about the equivalence between Ram Gopal Verma’s Contract and the blasts. According to Indian news channels, there is a lot of similarity in this reel life and real life situation. Movies are giving ideas to terrorists, as stated by the Indian Media. But, I’ve a different opinion on this whole similarity issue.

If you ask me, terrorists got so thwarted by the movie that they decided to give India what they deserve for making such a crappy movie. In an interview given to The News Dose they said, “We got into so much trouble in obtaining the pirated copy of this movie and he gave us this shit? Fuck you RGV”.

That being said let us now finally move to terrorists. What are their motives? Why are they trying to rock India instead of rocking out with their cocks out in front of Rakhi Sawant’s picture?

In general, they do it because of religion, and I’m not a biased person who’ll say that they were Muslims. Instead of that, I’ll consider them as people who believe in God but sadly, they all are religious fanatics. They think that by killing people of other religions, they are going to impress their God and become heroes.

But, the thing they don’t realize is that, God is only one and by killing innocent people, they would not become any heroes. They are just motherfucking cowards who are too afraid to come out in open and fight face to face. God is not going to forgive for what you did to innocent people, but they are too dumb to understand this.

They think that killing innocent people is the only path to God and the people who bring such thinking into them are our politicians and religious leaders. According to me, you all will spared by God if you start licking Sushma Swaraj’s dirty ass.

In the end, there are some questions left unanswered.

1. Are we really safe in India?

2. Are our police and intelligence services doing any good for our safety?

3. Who are promoting these terrorists in India, Political leaders or Religious leaders?

Do you have opinions or answers to these questions? Post them as comments in the comment box below while I listen to “Yeh Jo Des hai tera” from the movie, “Swades” and pray for the innocent people especially the ladies in the image below. Die you cocksuckers terrorists.

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Help and pray for all the victims of the bomb blasts.

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Also read – Indian Politics – A True Wonder

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It just feels like today when I, myself, got adulterated. At that time, it would mean that, no longer would I have to worry about opening a porn site and watching the “Adults Only” logo, no longer would I have to worry about humiliation if someone catches me while watching that porn. It would also mean that, I could go to the terrace of my home in my towel and start singing, “Jab Se Tere Naina” from the crappiest movie, “Saawariya” and no longer would I have to worry about the girl/boy next door staring and fantasizing about my thing when I drop that towel.

It would mean that, no longer would I have to worry about Police kicking my ass for catching me driving without a license. It also meant that, I could go to any shop and ask for a condom without feeling ashamed, unlike many Indian men, and it would also mean that, no longer would I have to consider masturbation as a sin, since, as per the Indian laws, I was officially an ADULT.

But, these were just hypothetical situations, which I don’t give a damn about. The things which I’ll mention now were the ones I was really excited about.

1. Right to Vote

I was made to believe that, once I get my right to vote, I can vote any person I like, whom I think will do best for my country without taking any bribe, without raping a 10 year old girl and without murdering any poor guy. They also convinced me to believe in the fact that, the person I’ll choose will be highly educated and a perfect gentleman. On the top of that, they told me that, the elections and the votes will be counted with pure honesty.

But, when the elections came, I saw the reality. I came to know that, no matter for which motherfucker I vote, only that will win who has a bigger gun or a large bank balance in his Swiss account. And if he has the skills to start a riot on the name of religion, language, or caste, then even God can’t defeat him in the elections.

2. Singing talent shows

I conjectured that, once I win any of the singing competition on the ground of my singing talent, I’ll get all the money, my name will be on everyone’s lips, girls will run after me just like they run after Imran Khan and people will go to the music stores to buy my music CDs and then I’ll be India’s 50 Cent.

But to my surprise, I came to know that, you don’t win on the basis of your talent, you win on the account of your state, religion and caste. If your state and caste people support you, then it doesn’t matter if you are the worst singer in the whole India, even more than Himesh Reshammiya, you’ll still win hands down. But, after that, no one will give a shit about you.

Your music video will be on a TV channel for a couple of months and then again, you’ll be an asshole who you were earlier. Then, other TV channels will invite you to compete against the winners of other reality shows. In short, you’ll be a fucked up retard for the rest of your life.

3. 18+ Stuff

I surmised that, I would go to the PVR with my broad chest and would buy the ticket of Sex and the City, as I’m an adult now. Moreover, I also deduced that no longer would I have to worry about the “Parental Advisory” logo on the Hip Hop music CDs.

But to my surprise again, I came to know that, even a 14 year old kid can buy the ticket of Sex and the city and can purely ignore the “Adult” certificate given to the movie. He can call his girlfriend a bitch or a whore and can sing, “I want to fuck you” for her, while she is busy doing her make-up and trying to garner attention of other guys just like Deepika Padukone and Bipasha Basu.

And all this forced me to ask some questions to myself? What the hell has happened to all of us? What are we doing to help our country? Is this the future of our country?

Then some of my friends came to me and said, “Shut the fuck up man, this is India Meri Jaan”.

And this took me to the conclusion that we don’t have to be 18 to become an Adult. We get adulterated from the starting of our lives, or in other words, corrupt men pollute us with poisonous and cheap substances.

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All the conditions and situations mentioned above represent the general experiences and overall scenario of the adults of India and they have nothing to do with the personal experiences of the author.
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20 men molesting 2 girls on new year’s eve, or a woman being beaten up so much by the villagers that she starts looking like a lame version of Bobby Darling or 6 men gang raping a 10 year old girl or a boyfriend making a mms scandal of his girlfriend behind her back while she gives him the best blow job of his life?

Then Yes Sir!, Indian men are experts in giving such holy respect to women.

And to make the Indian Man’s head proud, the latest addition to the famous Holy book, “100 Ways to give respect to Indian Women”, is to kill your daughter when she comes to know about your affair with an outside bitch. On May 16, a school girl named “Aarushi” was found dead in her room. Her parents called up the famous INDIAN POLICE and put all the blame on their servant “Hemraj”, who was from Nepal. Before going any further, let me tell you about another famous book in India, “100 ways to put all the blame on a Nepali servant”, a must buy for all the criminals in India.

So after a lot of investigation by our Indian Police, they finally found the body of Hemraj. Now according to our Indian police and media, the murderer of Aarushi Talwar is her dad “Dr Rajesh Talwar”, a dentist at Fortis Hospital. The main reasons behind this whole operation were the dislike of Aarushi towards her dad’s extra-marital affair with an outside bitch named “Dr Anita Durrani”, a colleague of Dr Rajesh Talwar and the closeness of Hemraj and Aarushi. But now everyone is questioning the investigation of the Police. So who is really responsible?

Well all the details of this murder case are in the newspapers and on news channels. But we’ve something which others don’t have. The answer to the above question. We’ve a live video recording of the police investigation. Our reporters are really good in sting operations. So here is the transcript of the video investigation.

Police officer in this video is “Mr. Jhandulal Ghonsle”

Jhandulal: So Mr. Rajesh, what were you doing when this whole thing happened?

Rajesh : Well sir, me and my wife downloaded the movie “Tashan” from net for free as we encourage piracy.. but sir I must tell you.. that movie is a waste of time.. don’t even watch it for free… wasted my bandwidth..

Jhandulal : Get to the point dick head!!

Rajesh : Yes sir.. so we were watching this movie and we felt asleep…don’t blame us!.. movie was really boring..

Jhandulal : Aahh.. yes.. I know.. I booked the whole third class cinema for me and my two lady officers for our sexual routine.. but both of them died during the first five minutes of the movie.. fuck you Yash Chopra and Aditya Chopra..

Jhandulal : Anyways, what were you doing Dr Anita?

Anita : Well I was also watching Tashan, but instead of sleeping.. I was fantasizing about Kareena Kapoor in bikini and her zero size body….

Wife : I was dreaming about Shahid Kapoor and his gay looks…

Rajesh : I was having a big group sex with all of them in my dreams including “Bobby Darling” and “Rakhi Sawant”

Jhandulal : Hmm.. you all are horny little bitches.. anyways, we’ve to give the title of the murderer to someone.. damn this Nepali is dead.. that book should give some more ways to put the blame on a Nepali..

Rajesh : I understand sir, so what to do now?

Jhandulal : I’ve an idea!!. Let’s have a group sex.. the one who turns out to be the worst will go to jail.. agree?

Rajesh : Ok sir.. but i’ve to get my dildo..

Jhandulal : Dildo!! but why?

* Dr Rajesh fully embarrassed*

Rajesh : My dick is only of 2 inches.. that’s why..

Jhandulal : Asshole.. then how did you satisfy these beautiful ladies? Didn’t you read the Holy book? You’re OUT!!!

And this is how we came to know Rajesh is the criminal. God bless our Indian Police!!.

The researchers claimed that with the introduction of new bollywood actresses like Deepika Padukone and Sonal Chauhan, publisher might need to publish a new Holy Book titled, “1000 more ways to give respect to Indian Women”.

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Serious Note -

Rest in Peace “Aarushi Talwar”. May God give peace and rest to her soul.

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Please give respect to women because they are your mother, your sister, your daughter and your wife. Don’t do eve teasing. Treat girls equally and make our Indian Society a better place to live.

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