Archive for the Category »Shahrukh khan «

Jan

Billu Barber, Red Chillies production, is already making waves for its hot item numbers which feature top actresses of Bollywood; Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra. First things first, Billu Barber is the film of Irrfan Khan and not Shahrukh Khan, which many people are assuming. It’s the first time that Pritam is giving music for Shahrukh’s production and same with Neeraj, who is giving background voice for Shahrukh Khan.

The soundtrack of Billu Barber comprises of 15 tracks, yes 15, and out of that, 7 are originals and the rest of the tracks are remixes. Well, the first thing that goes in favor of Billu Barber is the wide range of songs. From typical club bangers to village anthems, everything is in there. And for the first time after Jab We Met, songs don’t appear to be copy of South Korean artists, I hope it’s true, Pritam. Now, let’s review the soundtrack.

1. Marjaani

The opening track of the soundtrack, also the first promo of the movie, featuring Kareena Kapoor and Shahrukh Khan, is already a hit among the masses. Most of the credit should be given to Sukhwinder Singh and Sunidhi Chauhan. The voice of Sukhwinder is perfect and Sunidhi adds her own magical touch. I don’t think any other singer can do so much justice to this number. Also, credit should be given to Pritam, for providing the rocking music.

Lyrics are top notch, but people who are not much used to Punjabi lyrics and the language, can find it difficult to understand the lyrics. But, when the music is so thumping, you hardly get a chance to think about the lyrics, if you’re in a club.

2. Love Mera Hit Hit

Love Mera Hit Hit, is undoubtedly, the biggest club number of the year, I don’t think any song in 2009 will be able to match its energy, and enthusiasm. Add to that super hot dance number of Deepika Padukone, Love Mera Hit Hit, is a sure shot hit. The real star of the song is, of course, Neeraj Shridhar. Tulsi Kumar, can be wrong choice for some, and honestly, I didn’t like her during the first listen. But, she grows on you gradually. Sunidhi or Shreya could have done a better job, considering Shreya Ghoshal did an awesome job in Latoo, in the soundtrack of Ghajini.

Music is of the highest quality, and sets the mood for a perfect dance number. What makes this song a contender for the national anthem of this year is the lyrics, especially on the chorus. Ashish Pandit and Mayur Puri have done a wonderful job with the lyrics and Pritam has done his job again.

3. You Get Me Rockin & Reeling

You Get Me Rockin & Reeling, supposedly to be performed by Priyanka Chopra and Shahrukh Khan can be a letdown to some. Unlike the first two songs, You Get Me Rockin & Reeling will not catch your attention during the first listen and it’ll take a lot of plays to grow on you. But, I think the music video of the song will change everything because if we go by the cover art of the album, music video of this song will be the best of the three.

Neeraj can’t do much of a job in this song because he doesn’t get so much scope to perform, and add to that some English verses, which were not required at all. The only high point of the song is the chorus, which surprisingly, is also used in another song in the album.

4. Ae Aa O

I don’t have really much to write about Ae Aa O, as it is not that original, but the guitar riffs in the starting rocks! Well, the song is basically about how great I’m. It’ll certainly appeal to those who think that they are the best and need some song to send out that message.

Music doesn’t have any consistency, sometimes it’s a total bore and sometimes, especially during the guitar riffs, it just blows you away. KK tries really hard to make it amiable but succeed to some extent, but the 5 minute length of the song kills it in the first place.

5. Jaoon Kahan

After 4 songs belonging to Shahrukh Khan, Jaoon Kahan is about the emotions of Irrfan Khan. Sung beautifully by Raahat Fateh Ali Khan, Jaoon Kahan is one of the best songs of the album. I’ve noticed that Raahat Fateh Ali Khan has a unique ability to take any average song to a whole new level with his voice, and Pritam knows it very well.

Lyrics clearly describe the emotions of Irrfan Khan, and all the credit goes Sayeed Quadri. The main backdrop of the song, can sometimes make you remember Teri Ore, from Singh is Kinng. Emotions are perfect and you’ll love this song, and honestly, you will not mind the length of the song.

6. Billoo Bhayankar

Billoo Bhayankar really tests the talent of Pritam and surprisingly, he passes with 100 out of 100 with this one. Billoo Bhayankar is not a chartbuster song, and some songs are never meant to be chartbusters, they are meant for critical acclaim. From singing style to lyrics to music and the music instruments, everything is unique.

The success of the song belongs to Gulzar, who wrote wonderful lyrics for the song, and probably the most difficult ones. Ajay Jhingaran, Raghuveer and Kalpana have done a brilliant job in rendering their voice to the song. It would certainly be a high point in the movie.

7. Khudaya Khair

Khudaya Khair is a typical romantic number but refreshing Soham Chakraborty, In Dino fame, is a surprise inclusion in the song and he is the one who make this song a worthwhile listen. Akriti Kakkar and Monali do a good job in supporting the vocals of Soham. Lyrics are fine and the chorus of this song is the same that of You Get Me Rockin & Reeling.

Verdict

Billu Barber is a clear winner for Pritam, who for the first time gives us some original music. Marjaani and Love Mera Hit Hit are the two number ones hits of 2009. Soundtrack comprises of critical material such as Billoo Bhayankar and Jaoon Kahan.

The rest of the three original songs are average and only one of them has the ability to be a hit when the music video will be released. The biggest downfall of the album is the 8 remixes. If I gave an extra star to Dostana for not including any remix then I’ve to cut 1 star from Billu Barber for including so many remixes. Honestly, there was no need of so many remixes.

Nevertheless, Billu Barber is a great album and it’s a good start for Billu Barber, the movie.

Rating –

Cast – Irrfan Khan, Lara Dutta, Shahrukh Khan.

Music Director – Pritam

Movie Director – Priyadarshan

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them and vote in the poll.

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2. Internet Indian Society – Check out how we, the Indians, behave on the internet.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.
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Category: Bollywood, Deepika Padukone, Entertainment, Indian Music, Music Reviews, Priyanka Chopra, Shahrukh khan Tags: Ae Aa O, Ajay Jhingaran, Ashish Pandit, Billoo Bhayankar, Billoo Bhayankar lyrics, Billu Barber, Billu Barber Music Review, Bollywood, Deepika Padukone, Entertainment, Gulzar, Irrfan Khan, Jaoon Kahan, Jaoon Kahan lyrics, Kalpana, Kareena Kapoor, Khudaya Khair, Khudaya Khair lyrics, Love Mera Hit Hit, Love Mera Hit Hit lyrics, Love Mera Hit Hit video, Marjaani, Marjaani lyrics, Marjaani video, Mayur Puri, Neeraj, Neeraj Shridhar, Pritam, Priyanka Chopra, Raahat Fateh Ali Khan, Raghuveer, Shahrukh khan, Shreya Ghoshal, Singh is Kinng, Soham Chakraborty, Sukhwinder Singh, Sunidhi Chauhan, Teri ore, Tulsi Kumar, You Get Me Rockin & Reeling, You Get Me Rockin & Reeling lyrics, You Get Me Rockin & Reeling video 3 Comments

Dec

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Movie Review

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2008’s most awaited release and first movie of Shahrukh Khan after a gap of 13 months, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, is finally out. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is special for many reasons; first being that it is the first movie of Aditya Chopra after a gap of 8 years, it marks the debut of Anushka Sharma, and at the modern time of recession and terrorism, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is expected to bring smiles at the face of both the audience and the film distributors.

So, does Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi lives up to all these expectations? Well, it surely does. It delivers what has been promised by Shahrukh Khan and Aditya Chopra, a simple yet extraordinary love story.

Set in the beautiful Amritsar, the story is about an average guy named Surinder Sahni (Shahrukh Khan) who marries the daughter of his teacher, Taani (Anushka Sharma), due to some circumstances and how he tries to make her fall in love with him. Story is simple but effective, mainly because of the treatment given by Aditya Chopra.

One of the strongest points of the movie is the authentic look of Amritsar, brilliantly captured by Ravi K. Chandran. The other strong points of the movie are the script and direction, done brilliantly by Aditya Chopra. But Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi works because it’s simple. Yes, from lyrics of the songs to the dialogues, from sets to the storyline, everything is so simple that you just fall in love with the movie.

One more point that is worth mentioning is that many beautiful moments in the movie are without dialogues, for example; the scene in which Surinder keeps a rose with the note for Tani and then decides to put the rose away or the one in which Tani packs lunch for him for the first time and Surinder keeps on looking at the lunch box even while driving. There are many small but lovable scenes which I won’t mention so that you can enjoy the movie.

Music

Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte is, undoubtedly, the best picturized song of 2008. If you thought Farah Khan captured the 70s look perfectly then think again. Aditya Chopra takes it to the whole new level and add to that 5 actresses of Bollywood in the song, Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte is a breathtaking experience.

Also the choreography of Dance Pe Chance and Haule Haule is top class. Watch out for the scene in which kids make the painting of Anushka in the song Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, you’ll love it. It’s a very creative move by Aditya. Songs and background score is top class, as I mentioned in the music review of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.

Performance of Anushka Sharma

Now let’s move to acting department and first we’ll talk about Anushka Sharma. One thing that I noticed is that people are comparing Deepika Padukone and Anushka Sharma, even the press is doing that. So who is the better actress? Anushka Sharma hands down.

She is totally lovable as the fun loving Punjabi girl and she looks beautiful, too. There is modulation in her voice which is clearly missing in Deepika and her acting is marvelous. Dialogue delivery is superb and she shows all the emotions while speaking.

All the people in theater clapped and whistled when she drove the bike, do I need to say anything more? Best debut actress of 2008 awards belongs to her.

Vinay Phatak as the friend of Shahrukh is nice and he can be a really strong contender for best supporting actor. He plays an important role in the development of Shahrukh’s character.

Performance of Shahrukh Khan

Now this brings us to Shahrukh. This role, without a doubt, is one of the best performances in his career. Playing the character of both Surinder and Raj was not an easy task considering they both are same person. Let me give you an example of that. How will you explain the dilemma of Surinder when Taani agrees to leave her marriage and decides to run away with Raj? This can be really difficult to portray but Shahrukh has done it perfectly. He is charming as Raj but his role as Surinder steals the whole show.

His quiet nature and low key voice does full justice to Surinder’s character. Emotions are clearly visible on his face, both as Surinder and Raj and he looks like 20 year old hunk as Raj and at the same time he looks like a 40 year old man as Surinder. A big applause for Shahrukh, even his haters will love him, no doubt about that. What about the reaction of audience? Whistles and claps.

Things that were not good

But Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi lacks an emotional punch which was clearly visible in DDLJ. No doubt that the story will touch your heart but there is something missing. And there are some clichés, for example; the scene in which Tani realizes that she is in love with Surinder and not Raj.

There are many other clichés which could have been easily avoided especially in the dance show. One more thing which can go against is the length of the movie. It’s not that you’ll be bored or something but some people are impatient these days. But, the movie will grab your attention during the whole time so chances are less.

Verdict

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is clearly a winner for Yash Raj Films and it can break many records because of its theme. Film works because of its simplicity and the feel good factor it carries along with it. In the modern era in which relationships are ending just like that, it clearly brings a hope that true love is still out there. Moreover, it’ll also help you to overcome the sadness which is around us due to terrorism and recession.

Anushka Sharma makes a solid debut and she is clearly the next big thing. She is not your average good looking girl who doesn’t know how to act. She has an immense amount of talent and should use it carefully.

But the real star of the movie is Shahrukh Khan. This movie clearly shows how much talented actor he is. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi will take his super star status to a whole new level, especially among the foreign audience, considering it is being released in 30 countries. Fight for the best actor award is between Hrithik Roshan and Shahrukh now but we’ve to wait for Ghajini. A sure shot blockbuster as its budget is low. Highly Recommended!

Rating –

Cast – Shahrukh Khan, Anushka Sharma, and Vinay Pathak

Music Director – Salim – Sulaiman

Movie Director – Aditya Chopra

Do you have anything to say about the movie or do you want to comment on my review? Then feel free to do it by using comment box below and also vote in the poll.

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Must Reads

1. Terrorist Attacks in Mumbai – So what did we lose and won in this attack? What to do next? Find Out!

2. An Indian Woman is Independent – Are you afraid of Independent women? Or do you want to become one? Then read this post.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.

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Nov

Who is the King of Bollywood?

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Day after day, I see every other Bollywood website commenting on who is the real King of Bollywood. It’s like the burning topic for the country, even more than why that “wannabe assassinator” from Bihar got shot, or why Politicians of India are not even leaving the chance to play politics on his death, or when will Raj Thackeray die, or the best question, why a BLACK Obama is going to the WHITE house? I mean these are serious questions, right? Especially the last one if you are a racist.

To the poor souls, who participate in the fight of “King of Bollywood” and ma$turbate while sitting in front of their PCs in lieu of doing something productive, I’m going to clear your doubts for once and all. To those lucky souls who never got to see such discussions, here is a sample of what happens in the fight.

But first, you’ve to realize that they fight as if they are those actors, so don’t be surprised about their use of language.

Here is a log of the fight.

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*Akshay Kumar Fan (AK) joined the chat on his virtual scooter with a slogan “Indian audience love brainless comedies coz they don’t have a brain”, while Shahrukh Fan (SRK) is smoking despite the ban on smoking in public chat rooms by Internet Health Minister, P0rn Lover.*

*Aamir Khan Fan (A) is busy in writing a blog entry about his love for dogs and about his new pappu, I mean puppy, Imran Khan. News Dose (ND), on the other hand, is wasting time on Orkut, Facebook, Twitter and other countless social networking sites in trying to make contacts with hot girls.*

AK: So SRK, I heard music of your new movie, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, just got released and I also heard that NewsDose gave it 5 stars. He sounds like a Fan of yours. It’s biased.

SRK: Yeah, so? It deserves it.

AK: O c’mon, you know songs suck. I mean, a harmonium in the song, really? In which year are you living? 1950? Where is the hip-hop and hot b!tches? Show me some bling and Snoop Dogg, nigga.

SRK: It would be totally inappropriate coz I’m playing a boring character in the movie just like I’m in real life. I’m boring, unromantic, and with a white hair.

AK: Yeah right! You’re boring, that’s why I’m the King of Bollywood. You know why youth loves me? Because I give them Katrina Kaif, showing her cleavage and hot a$$, on which they can drool so that they don’t give a $hit about the story.

SRK: And I give them Deepika Padukone, who changes her boyfriend every other day. I’m pretty sure Anushka will follow her footsteps.

*AK thinking – “Damn! That’s true. I don’t have any more $luts. Shilpa Shetty doesn’t talk to me now. $hit.”*

*ND drooling over the pictures of hot girls while Aamir’s fan is uploading the pictures of Aamir Khan using Imran Khan to get girls*

*After 10 seconds pause*

AK: You know what? You $uck. I’m the king. I gave 4 back to back hits.

SRK: So did me.

AK: But I gave them in one year. And guess what? I’m getting 100 crores for new movie. HA! Beat that, you @$$hole.

SRK: Any proof?

*Pause for 10 seconds*

AK: You know what? I’m getting 100 crores and that’s it. I’m the King and King is always right.

*Aamir’s fan realizes that Aamir is losing the battle*

Aamir: Hey! How the hell can you forget me? I’m the perfectionist! Muhahahaha!

SRK: And here comes the baldy.

Aamir: What did you call me? You’re a piece of my dog’s $hit, you know that?

AK: Great going, Aamir. Let’s kill him together. HAHA

Aamir: What are you laughing about, you brainless creature. Watch my movies someday and learn some story telling from it. I’m the best!

AK: Then why does your new movie, Ghajini, looks like a tamil movie? And hey, I thought we were together in this battle against SRK.

Aamir: I don’t need anyone, that’s why I kicked Amol from Taare Zameen Par and took all the credit. I’m the real KING. I’ll do the same thing for Ghajini, if it succeeds on box office.

SRK: Give me a break; you are an Idiot of 3 idiots. A dumb@$$.

*Suddenly, Salman Khan’s Fan enters the room in his virtual car and with a picture of Aishwarya in his one hand and his other hand is somewhere down.*

*ND is still busy in collecting the pictures of hot girls*

SK: What the hell is going on? *Closing the zip of his pants*

AK: Ah! Three SRK haters now. It’s fun. Tell him who’s the King, Salman.

SK: I don’t know but it is not SRK. He is one selfish guy who took my Katrina to Dubai on Diwali while I was bursting my crackers alone in my bed, if you know what I mean.

Aamir: Just like you were bursting in your car with Aishwarya’s picture?

SK: Totally, I still remember those good old days. Damn you Abhishek. Anyway, SRK is gay and spends his time with KJO.

*ND completes his collection of hot pictures of hot girls and returns to the chat room.*

*ND reads the whole conversation and decides to act responsibily.*

ND: Why do you guys always fight with each other? Don’t you have anything to do in life?

AK: Yeah, like what? Giving SRK’s movie biased reviews and 5 star ratings, and giving 2 stars to mine? F*ck you.

SK: Yeah, I think SRK gives u his thing behind your thing, if you know what I mean.

ND: Listen people, all those superstars don’t even know you. They’re earning millions and you are wasting your time.

AK: Get lost, you d!ckhead. Let us fight. This is our life and this is what we do.

*SRK, Aamir, and SK say the same thing*

ND: But…

All: Get out, you @#$@%@#^$^$^##%@%@#@

*ND quits the room and now writing a new blog entry about Obama while all 4 morons are still fighting*

So, you see, this is what happens in a so called debate over “The King of Bollywood.” One piece of advice, never participate in such fight coz chances are that you’ll be addicted to it.

And for those poor souls, as I promised earlier and as THE ROCK will say, “It doesn’t matter who’s the KING OF BOLLYWOOD.”

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Do you have any experience of these fights? Do you want to comment on the article or present your views on who’s the real king? Comment box is below. Go for it!
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1. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.

2. An Indian Woman is Independent – Are you afraid of Independent women? Or do you want to become one? Then read this post.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. Dostana Music Review – Find out if it’s worth to buy (download) the songs?
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Nov

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review

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Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Movie Review – 4 stars – Read Here

Music of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, 2008’s most anticipated movie, directed by Aditya Chopra after a gap of 8 years has finally hit the stores. This film has a lot of expectations considering it’s the first release of Shahrukh Khan this year, debutant Anushka Sharma who is creating a lot of buzz among the crowd, combination of Shahrukh and Aditya which created history with DDLJ in 1995, and Yash Raj Films, which are looking for a big hit this year.

In Bollywood, music of the movie plays a vital role in the success of the movie and if the songs are good then half of the battle is won. Looking back at the track record of Salim – Sulaiman, who also gave the music for Chak De India in 2007 and Fashion this year, winning half of the battle doesn’t seem to be a big problem. And yes, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi succeeds in every department. The power of this soundtrack lies in its simplicity. Let’s get a song by song review of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.

1. Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai

Roop Kumar Rathod does it again! After making “Maula Mere Maula” a classic with his melodious voice, Roop takes Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai to a whole new level. It requires only one listen to love this song. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this ultimate romantic number. Background vocals add the required mysterious romantic feel to Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai and the music is simple and yet, melodious to ears.

There is also a short version of this song sung beautifully by Shreya Ghoshal. Some of you prefer the short version because it’s too good and also because of the fact that there is only one song of Shreya in the soundtrack.

2. Haule Haule

Haule Haule, the promo song of the movie is already a hit among Shahrukh fans and haters alike. And why not, Haule Haule is the simplest and the most romantic song of 2008 with lyrics so good that you love the song on the very first listen. It’s like love at first sight. I mean how many times have you seen a Harmonium playing an important role in the music of a song in this Hip-Hop era?

Add to that the great voice of Sukhwinder Singh, who is now the voice of Shahrukh Khan, without a doubt. Also worth mentioning is the video of the song which you see on your T.V sets these days. The whole scene was shot in one take. Prodigious!

3. Dance Pe Chance

When I saw the tracklist of the soundtrack, I was little worried about the inclusion of Labh Janjua in Dance Pe Chance. It’s not that he is a bad singer or something but because I can’t see Shahrukh lip-syncing his voice. But O Boy! I was surprised. He turns out to be the strongest link in the whole sing.

When he sings, you can feel the energy which is required for Dance Pe Chance. Going by the lyrics, this song looks like Anushka teaching Shahrukh how to dance. Sunidhi Chauhan has also done a fabulous job and she’ll surely suit Anushka.

A special mention about the music and lyrics, when the song begins, you’ll feel like it’s an average Pritam number, but no, keep listening to the song and wait for the part of Labh Janjua’s part and then you’ll see the difference. It’s a song which is a must inclusion in your I-POD.

4. Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte

Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte is, indubitably, the most creative song of 2008. Music and lyrics of all the classics of golden era of Bollywood has been included in the song. For example; the famous “Yahooooo” by Shammi Kapoor, “Jai Jai Shiv Shankar”, and “Babu Moshai” by Rajesh Khanna from the classic movie, “Anand”.

Two thumbs up for Sonu Nigam, who did the job so well that you just fell in love with the song. Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte shows the genius minds of Salim – Sulaiman, as this song was surely not an easy song to make.

5. Dancing Jodi

Dancing Jodi is basically the instrumental versions of all the songs of the soundtrack just like it was with Jhoom Barabar Jhoom but only better. Calling Dancing Jodi a remix would be wrong and inappropriate. This song is a delight for the dancers who prefer the Indian – Western hybrid music to shake their hips. Kudos to Salim – Sulaiman for a tremendous instrumental version.

Verdict

Verdict- In an age where songs and their remixes are filled with rapping, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi stays away from this. It’s, unequivocally, a gem for the music lovers and the best soundtrack of 2008.

It takes you to those good old days when music was simple and great and at the same time, it has the modern touch to capture universal attention. There is nothing wrong with the soundtrack, no remix, no rapping and most of the songs are of short length which is a big bonus. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is a kaleidoscopic soundtrack which is a must in everyone’s collection. Go out and buy the CD!

Rating –

Cast – Shahrukh Khan, Anushka Sharma, and Vinay Pathak

Music Director – Salim – Sulaiman

Movie Director – Aditya Chopra

Do you have anything to say about the soundtrack or do you want to comment on my review? Then feel free to do it by using comment box below and also vote in the poll.

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Must Reads

1. Terrorist Attacks in Mumbai – So what did we lose and won in this attack? What to do next? Find Out!

2. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Movie Review – 4 stars – Read Here

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Aug

Why is India a loser in Olympics?

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Let’s face the facts; India is the second largest populated country in the world with a population of almost 1 billion. But still, we are unable to produce 11 men who can play some decent football or athletes who can win medals in the Olympics.

It’s sad but it’s true. Even countries like Jamaica perform superior in Olympics than India and it’s a shame for all of us. Hockey used to be our best bet in the Olympics to win Gold medal but we are now out of that too. So whom should we blame for the present conditions of Indian Sports, and how to put a kibosh on these discountenance conditions?

The first reason that comes to mind is the negligence of the other sports due to Cricket. Honestly, I was a big fan of cricket when I was a kid but now, all I see is 11 men running after a ball as if it is one of their balls, if you know what I mean.

The media attention and money given to Cricket players are like a dream for other athletes and if you want to know what it feels like then imagine sleeping with Deepika Padukone in real life but you can’t get her because she is already in bed with Ranbir Kapoor. Sounds unpalatable, right?

Indian media follows cricketers even if they are going to a dentist just like India TV followed MS Dhoni. Due to so much coverage, cricketers always have a pressure to perform well during the matches. But as we all know, no news channel give a shit about athletes, so they don’t bother at all. Even if they win, then also Indian media don’t give a shit.

The other example of Cricket scoring over other sports would be IPL. Everyone knows how much money was spent on the teams and players. Celebrities like Shahrukh Khan, Katrina Kaif, Akshay Kumar, Preity Zinta made a presence during the matches and business tycoons like Mukesh Ambani, Vijay Malya gave so much money to their teams.

If they spend half of that amount on the improvement of other sports, then it would change the whole scenario over-night. Did I mention the cheerleaders that cricketers get? They can definitely motivate the players to perform well. You know the saying, “Behind every successful man, there is a HOT woman with big boobs”.

Enough of the cricket, now let’s move to real culprits, the Sports authorities. Everyone knows that they simply don’t give a fuck about the players. The prime example of this would be the doping case of Monika Devi, who was tested positive during a test. Now she has been freed from those charges but sadly, she can’t take part in the Olympics because it’s too late. This shows how much serious the authorities are.

And God knows what happens to the money that government gives to the authorities to improve the standards. From some particular reason, I believe that all the people working in these committees take that money and put into their Swiss accounts while players are starving on the roads.

The perfect portrayal of this system was in Chak De India, but still, our corrupt authorities are not ashamed of themselves for not having fucking morals and honesty just like Anees Bazmee and Akshay Kumar, who gave us, Singh is Kinng.

As a repercussion of all this, students and sports enthusiastic prefer to keep themselves away from all these sports and concentrate on becoming cricketers, which further downgrade the standards of Indian sports.

At the time of writing, India has already lost a number of competitions in Beijing Olympics 2008, which is a disgrace. Let’s hope our athletes will win some medals and make the head of 1 billion people proud. And I hope some honest politicians like Rahul Gandhi would do something about the state of Indian sports, before it’s too late.

The question is what do you think about this whole issue? What are your views? Who do you think is the culprit? Is it the government, sports authorities or cricket? Post your comments and I’ll put the best ones in the post.

[digg=http://digg.com/olympics/Why_is_India_a_loser_in_Olympics]

Aug

Singh is Kinng Movie Review

newsdose

How many times have you heard those Santa Banta jokes? I know, a lot of times. But now people might include one more character to Santa Banta and make it trio and that character would be Happy Singh from the movie Singh is Kinng.

Singh is Kinng

Singh is Kinng is about a halfwit Sikh guy, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar), from a village in Punjab who always cause trouble to village people and they are vexed by his unique ability to cause troubles. So, in order to get rid of him, they pack-off him to Australia to bring underworld King, Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood), back to their village. There he lands into various troubles and meet the love of his life, Sonia (Katrina Kaif), who is already committed.

This is the general outline of the film and to be honest, it is not that “original”. Singh is Kinng is filled with serendipities and misunderstandings. Add a lot of toilet jokes to it, and there you have a typical Anees Bazmee movie. His last movie, Welcome, was a big success, but the same thing can’t be said about the reviews from both the critics and the audience. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out IMDB.com, there it only got 5.4/10 rating from 825 votes.

But that was the past, now let’s get back to Singh is Kinng. Honestly speaking, Singh is Kinng is a very competent idea of the director to make huge money, just like with Welcome, without even giving a damn about the audience who pays a lot to watch an amiable and sensible comedy.

From the title of the movie, you expect it to have some different approach to portray Sikhs in the Bollywood movies unlike those movies in which Sikhs are represented as cretinous (idiots). But no, this movie is the same like those movies. I’m a person who believes in providing full liberty to the artist to express his opinions, even if they offend someone.

But, if you give a title Singh is Kinng to a movie, then I expect you to justify the title of the movie. Sadly, this is not the case with this one. No doubt, this movie would be a big hit, but when it comes to morals and honesty towards your work, it falls flat.

Performances

Akshay Kumar

He is undoubtedly the king of comedies and he is proving his worth with every movie. He really gets into the character of Happy Singh, and delivers it with brilliance.

But again, I’ve one question for him. I know you are a popular star now, but why are you pretending to care about the Sikhs? You go on blabbering about Singh is Kinng on award shows and promotional events, but where is your honesty towards the subject?

Just say that, “I only want to make money out of it and I don’t give a shit about anything else. I want to be the King of Bollywood.”

You should use your popularity to do some movies that can send some good message among the youth of India instead of doing such cheap movies. That is the difference between you and Aamir Khan and ShahRukh Khan.

Katrina Kaif

Please someone tell this girl to stop acting. This is one of the worst performances I’ve seen in a long time. She can even make Ayesha Takia’s performance in De Taali as an Oscar worthy performance.

I know you’ve the looks that can make any guy want to be with you in bed and believe me, directors and producers are using you for this reason only. You don’t stand anywhere close to the other female actors in terms of acting like Vidya Balan, Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor, hell you are even worse than Aishwarya Rai and I’m really serious about this.

Please go to some good acting school and learn some acting. You’re just an eye candy in the movies and I don’t think it is a good sign for your career.

Supporting Cast

I’m really mad about the wastage of Ranvir Shorey in this movie. He is one of the best actors to come out from Bollywood in recent times. Why did you waste such a wonderful talent in your movie, Anees Bazmee?

Om Puri shares a good chemistry with Akshay and gives an above average performance. Kirron Kher really stands out in the movie. Javed Jaffrey, Neha Dhupia and Sonu Sood give average performances.

Final Words – Singh is Kinng is your average Akshay Kumar entertainer. Go to the cinema hall without your brain and you’ll enjoy it, although chances are less. Akshay Kumar carries this movie on his shoulders. If you are a diehard fan of Akshay Kumar, then it would be a perfect treat for you. And if you are not, better wait it to come on TV.

One advice to Anees Bazmee – Please stop making such stupid movies and use your talent in a better way. I know you want to make a lot of money, but please, don’t do it on the expense of someone’s feelings and yes, I’m talking about Sikhs. Have some morals and I’m talking to you too, Akshay!

I’m not a religious fanatic and I simply don’t care about anything but not everyone is like me. But I can bet that many Sikh groups would be pissed at this movie. I was going through the reviews of the movie and found one on Sikhnet. Do read it and you’ll see what they think about this one.

Verdict – If brainless and toilet humor is your taste of a good comedy then go watch it. Be my guest. But if your taste is opposite to mentioned above then refrain yourself from this one.

Box-office result – It would be a big hit as I mentioned earlier, considering the hype around this movie. But sometimes, there is something more than just money which is certainly not true for both the director and the actors.

Rating – 2 out of 5

Your views – Post your reviews on the movie as comments in the box below. Or if you’ve something against my review then also post it. I would be glad to reply to it.

Note to readers – I’m not saying that performance of Akshay Kumar was bad or something, I’m just saying that there was no story at all, humor was cheap and it didn’t justify the title of the movie and the promises it made. You can always read the reviews of other critics like that of Rajeev Masand of CNN-IBN.

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Must Read – Why is India a loser in Olympics? – Find out why and give your views.

[digg=http://digg.com/movies/Singh_is_Kinng_Movie_Review_4]

Jul

ShahRukh and Salman Khan Fight

newsdose

Since the man started walking on this Earth, there have been only wars and wars, be it for money, Aishwarya Rai’s husband position, some so called holy place “Kashmir”, or over the Indo-US Nuclear Deal. The prime examples of these wars would be Indo-Pakistani War, War between Rakhi Sawant and Kashmira Shah on Big Boss, fight between Salman, Vivek and Abhishek, or that famous one between Shilpa Shetty and Jade Goody, but, none of them had generated such controversy in the Indian Media as Shah Rukh and Salman fight did.

According to our very own trust-worthy news channels, there was a spat between Shah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan on the birthday party of Katrina Kaif, which was orchestrated by Salman Khan. But, as we all know the true nature of our Sallu Bhai, he couldn’t resist himself from taking shots at Shahrukh. As of now, no one knows what exactly took place between the two Khans, as every newspaper and news channel is giving different story, thus, maintaining the HIGH STANDARDS of Indian news.

But, we at The News Dose, decided to find out what exactly happened. So, in order to achieve the target, we contacted our very own shit jabbering bitch, Rakhi Sawant and asked her to do a show especially for us.

Ladies and their pervert Husbands, I, Rakhi Sawant, would like to welcome you to my chat show, Rakhi 007, on the famous news channel, The News Dose.

Random Guy from crowd: You still alive? I thought I killed you last week after raping you in front of your boyfriend, Abhishek, while he was masturbating to your rape. President of India even gave me Padma Shri for doing this. Fuck!

Rakhi: Don’t be silly, getting raped by perverts like you is my day to day job. Anyways, we’ve lots of celebrities in my show. We’re going to discuss about Shahrukh and Salman fight.

Salman: Shut the fuck up. Where is my alcohol? Don’t you know I can’t live without it even for 2 minutes?

Katrina: Don’t drink please my Sallu, otherwise you would call me Aishwarya Rai and start humping me again. I have feelings you know!

Salman: Feelings my @$$, you can’t even act properly. You’re just an eye-candy in movies.

Akshay Kumar: That’s right. Films score on box-office just because of me, I’m the King.

Rakhi: Stop it please. So, Shahrukh and Salman, what happened that night?

Shahrukh: Here is the conversation took place that night

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Salman: You know what? You and Karan Johar, both of you are gays.

Shahrukh: And you are a dog of Aishwarya and Katrina.

Salman: O please! I’m the King and everyone knows that.

Shahrukh: Yeah right! You’re the queen of Akshay Kumar.

Akshay: Yes, you are my queen. Let’s go, our room is waiting for us baby.

Aamir: Hey!! How could you guys forget me? I’m the perfectionist! You both suck balls of Karan and Akshay.

Salman: And you use your gay nephew Imran Khan to introduce yourself to sluts, right Aamir?

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Rakhi: Ok, that sounds believable. I believe anything in which people insult Aamir.

Aamir: Die you slut!

Rakhi: Shut up baldy. Now, we’ll do something different. We’ve the editor of Mumbai Mirror, the newspaper which published this news first.

Editor: Thank you, thank you.

Random guy: Fuck you moron, I wiped my ass with your newspaper, you know that?

Editor: Yes, this is why we publish our newspaper. It helps to clean and see your ass. That is why there is Mirror in the name.

News Dose: Why did you publish such atrocious news without even checking the real story?

Editor: This is because our team is filled with nincompoops who like to write stuff using their ghoulish creativity, just like News Dose. Moreover, it helps people to wipe their asses, which is our main motive.

Rakhi: Do people wipe their penis when you publish something about me?

Random Guy: O yes we do! Especially after masturbating.

Rakhi: Yippee!!!!

News Dose: Ok, now I’ll ask couple of questions to Rediff.com’s editor and the commenters (Indian Men) on that site.

Rediff: Don’t ask me anything. I’m just like the editor of Mumbai Mirror. A complete chowder head.

News Dose: So, the turn is of Indian Men.

Indian Men: Bring it Bitch!

News Dose: Why do you love Salman Khan so much?

Indian Men: Salman is like God to us. He is our role model. He is the one who teaches us how to be a pervert and have affair with girls who are almost half of our age. He also shows the holy path to beat up our girlfriends/wives and also to kill poor people and animals.

You should try his book, “1000 ways to beat your girlfriend and still remain out of jail”. I tell you, that book opened my eyes. I’ve tried all the methods mentioned in the book and I’m really proud of myself.

News Dose: And why do you hate Shahrukh so much?

Indian Men: He is the one who tells us how to respect your wife, kids and other ladies and how not to act like a pervert. He is not an INDIAN MAN. He is a disgrace to our INDIAN SOCIETY.

He is earning millions of dollars while we are sitting at our home and masturbating to Katrina’s, “Zara Zara Touch me”. This is unfair to pervert Indian men.

So, in order to cope up with this frustration, we say that he can’t act and he is over-rated while we are the ones who’ve never even acted in a single movie in our whole life and yet, we consider ourselves as the top actors.

But wait, we are the directors, you know how? We make mms scandals of our girlfriends/wives and upload it on desi sites. It is our first step to become Sanjay Leela Bhansali. PERVERT INDIAN MEN for the win!!

Random Guy: I would like to say something to Aamir. From where the hell did you come in this whole fight, huh! Trying to be a peace maker now? Die you useless creature created by God. You and Salman take a room and make a sex tape. And then send it to your gay fans. Die! Die!

News Dose: Before Random Guy does something stupid, we’ve to end this show. Thank you for watching and I hope you’ve learnt the lesson.

Don’t trust the Indian Media and don’t give a shit about this fight. There are more serious issues in this world than this.

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Serious note – All the stuff mentioned is made up by our astute writer who doesn’t have anything to do in life. If you didn’t like it then just don’t pay attention to it and move on.

And one thing to both actors, stop the fight and patch up. People love both of you.

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Also read – Bachna Ae Haseeno Movie Review

[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/ShahRukh_and_Salman_Khan_Fight]

May

Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya – New Lesbian TV SHOW

newsdose

The growing craze of IPL has sabotaged the whole business of Reality Shows in India. Prior to IPL, you could see a new homosexual Reality Show every other day. Some of the prime examples of these shows are Star Voice of India, Indian Idol, KBC, Big Boss, Koffee with Karan. I got so inspired from this craze that even I tried to start my own TV Shows. I contacted India TV and they asked me to send some ideas about the shows. Here is a small list of the shows that I wanted to start…

1) Big Bitch
2) Kaun Banega Rakhi Sawant ka Pati (Host: Her used up condom boyfriend Abhishek)
3) Booze with Bobby Darling
4) Cunt Voice of India (Judges: Himesh Reshammiya, Anu Malik and a Dildo ready to fuck that cunt voice)
5) Kya aap Ass se tez hain? (Host: The Ass himself “Mahesh Bhatt”)

But sadly, IPL ruined my plans. But, Zee Television has decided to start their own lesbo Talk Show with Rakhi Sawant as the host. It is called “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”. The main motive behind this step is to destroy IPL with the help of big boobs of Rakhi, as this is what Indian Men crave for, even more than Cricket. Producer of the show asked me to see the shoot. How could I say no to such a momentous event in the history of FUCKED UP INDIAN TELEVISION? The show is expected to start with a bang like a gang bang, with as many as 11 stars together on the stage showing their banging skills. I went to the shooting and here is what I saw.

Rakhi: Welcome all of you to my pussy licking show, “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”.

Random guy from the rented audience: Die nameless Bitch!

* Rakhi blushing, Producer smiling as he thinks it’ll increase the TRP”

*TRP – Total Request Porn*

Rakhi: Thank you sir and I also welcome the Celebrity Guests of the evening.

*Rented audience clapping as they were given free booze and chicken to do this*

Rakhi: So my first question is for Shahrukh. How are you feeling after losing the battle of the favourite Krazzy 4 item number?

SRK: I didn’t lose the battle. I gave you the title…

Rakhi: Oh please, everyone knows that I’m the ITEM of Bollywood!

Random guy from rented audience: Yeah you’re the ITEM, how much do you charge for one night bitch?

Rakhi: Rs 10 for twosome sex, Rs 20 for threesome and Rs 30 for Group Sex…

Shambhavi(Roadie): I charge only Rs 5 coz I’d already fucked all the guys on MTV ROADIES

Bobby Darling: I’m free!

*Random guy confused between so many sluts*

Rakhi: Shut up Bitches; let’s move on to Hrithik… I heard you’re becoming a father for the second time… how are you feeling? Don’t you have any self-control?

Hrithik: Actually third baby is also coming…

Rakhi: Susan is having twins?

Hrithik: No, Actually I’m doing a kiss scene with this Hollywood slut…

Rakhi: Baby from a kiss?

Hrithik: This is how Indians make babies right? Raja Hindustani anyone?

Aamir: No piece of shit, I’m so perfect that no one came to know when I fucked Karishma… I’m the Number 1 MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Rakhi: Shut up you baldy shit.. Did you shave your pubes too?

Aamir: I shaved your pubes when YOU, ME AUR HUM were having a threesome

Rakhi: Fuck off… now let’s talk to Abhishek and Aishwarya… So Ash, tell us about your Big Boob Show at Cannes… What were you thinking? Trying to beat me in Boob size?

Aishwarya: I wanted to show Salman and Vivek “THE STUFF” that they’ve missed!!

Abhishek: I wanted to tell Rani Mukherjee and Karishma about “THE STUFF” that I got by marrying Ash!!

*A big pole is visible in Salman’s skinny jean while Rani is looking under her bra…*

*Random guy got caught masturbating to Ash’s Cannes picture*

*Aishwarya blushing, Rakhi Jealous…*

Rakhi: So Saif, you seem to be pretty angry about your sister’s pictures in the Maxim Magazine… Why were you not angry when Kareena did the same thing for FHM..?

Saif: Well, I’m Kareena’s dog and I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of her ex-dog “Shahid Kapoor”… I’m really insecure about Kareena… I get to fuck her in doggy-style you see!!

Kareena: Yeah, Saif is my dog, people put collars around their dogs, and I got him a tattoo saying “Kareena”…

*Rakhi impressed and now looking towards her dog Abhishek*

*Random guy still running from police with his cum on Ash’s picture*

Bobby Darling(dreaming): O yeah! O yeahhh!! Fuck me Shahid! Fuck me! Fuck me with your 3 inch dick!!

Rakhi: Wake up bitch from your faggot dream… and I think you told us the reason why Kareena left her ex-dog.

*Kareena proudly touching 4 inch dick of Saif*

Rakhi: So Raghu, first of all congrats for the success of Roadies 5.0, finally you gave two new sluts to Bollywood, “ANMOL and SHAMBHAVI”.. anyways what are your views about Aarushi Murder Case?

Raghu: I think they gave the case to CBI for further investigation..

Rakhi: Wait, CBI? CUNTLESS BITCHES INSTITUTE?

*Raghu bangs his head on the wall and starts crying*

Rakhi: Cry Baby… and how can we forget our Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor? How are you? You look really cute with each other… So how many times have you fucked each other?

Deepika: I’m still a virgin… I really love Ranbir and I’ll make love with him after our marriage…

*Random guy announces the latest mms scandal… Deepika giving Yuvraj a blow job*

*Deepika deleting Yuvraj’s naked wallpaper from her mobile*

* Now a pole is visible in Ranbir’s skinny jean*

And this is how the show ended. It was one hell of a night. No wonder it’ll beat IPL in TRP! Make sure to watch it and have a blast.

Rating – SHOW IS FOR ADULTS ONLY

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News to confirm the show
http://sify.com/movies/bollywood/fullstory.php?id=14681152
http://www.mid-day.com/web/guest/entertainment/bollywood/article?_EXT_5_articleId=1146774&_EXT_5_groupId=14
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[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/Rakhi_Ka_Phone_Aaya_New_Lesbian_TV_SHOW]

May

The Jaipur Diwali

newsdose

Diwali is the most prevalent festival of India and it is so widespread that people from all over the world think that they can come to India anytime and burn their own little crackers. The latest example of this is “The Jaipur Diwali” which happened last week. Well, we the people of India welcome all these tourists with an open heart coz we didn’t have any tourist scandal since Scarlett’s “Fuck me with weed” trauma.

So what exactly happened? Well no newspapers or news channels had the exact info. According to some , there were 7 explosions within 12 minutes and some were saying that there were 8 explosions that rocked the city like a Michael Jackson Concert. This is what Indian Media is all about. Icing on the cake is that, all the news channels were claiming to have an exclusive secret video recorded and sent by some random guy. The video is all about showing a place where the explosion took place. All I saw in that video was a bicycle. If you want to talk to that guy, we got his email address just for you from a news channel by bribing them for Rs 10 Only.. Well this is the rate these days and they say India is a developing country!.

And his email address is “gayosama@fuckme.com”

Instead of helping these people, politicians of the opposition parties took this as a perfect opportunity to put blame on the Central Govt. and their intelligence services who by the way lost in the first round of SRK’s show “Kya Aap Paanchvi Paas se Tez Hain?”. When media persons tried to contact Manmohan Singh, he was found in his room playing “Halo 3″ with Sonia Gandhi while his wife was watching “Desperate Housewives”.

Nevertheless, the dad of Indian news channels “India TV” was able to get an interview with one of the “Tourist” or as many say “Terrorist”.

Half Bald Guy: Welcome to India Tv’s popular show “Janta ki Adalat” . And the judge for the evening is Aamir Khan.

Aamir Khan : See I’m fully bald and you are half bald. I’m the number 1 and I’m the PERFECTIONIST MUHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Half Bald Guy: Ok sir you’re. Now let me call upon the criminal of the evening “Tourist A”

Tourist A : Thank you to both Bald People. Why not wear a wig?

Half Bald Guy: Ahem.. So Mr A, how old are you?

Tourist A : You a$$hole, don’t you know it is impolite to ask a terrorist’s age ? Piece of shit. Didn’t your mom tell you anythin?

Half Bald Guy: Oh! sorry I didn’t know that.. So tell me somethin about your team..

Tourist A : First of all I want to say that our team is not like that of Banglore Royal Challengers and we don’t have an owner like Malya. We don’t drink and we don’t watch sluts getting stripped in the dance bar or do they call them air hostess? We work hard for every cracker we make and that is why they don’t call us a “TEST TEAM”. We are the champions of our T20.. and that is the reason behind 9 bomb blasts within 12 minutes

Half Bald Guy: Sir I think there were only 7..

Tourist A : Fuck you asshole.. you don’t know a shit about anythin

Half Bald Guy: And what do you have to say about Shane Warne’s decision of not leaving India?

Tourist A : I think he has a secret fetish for Bombs.. Sex bombs

Half Bald Guy: What are your views about Preity Zinta?

Tourist A : She is the SEX BOMB

Half Bald Guy: What about Rakhi Sawant?

Tourist A : She is a wannabe Sex Bomb with a dog named “Abhishek”.

Aamir Khan : I know a dog named “Shahrukh”!!

Tourist A : And I know a bitch named “Kiran”!!

*Aamir Khan blushing after hearing such compliments for his wife Kiran*

*CROWD CHEERING FOR TOURIST A*

Half Bald Guy: Ok ok, what was your main motive behind these blasts in the “PINK CITY”?

Tourist A : I wanted to turn this city into “RED CITY”

Half Bald Guy: Are you a painter? or are you a relative of M.F Hussain?

Tourist A : *With a blank look* Fuck you asshole.. *Takes out a matchstick and burns the whole place*

*Aamir khan tries to save his ass *

*CROWD AGAIN CHEERING FOR TOURIST A*

And the latest news is that, Mahesh Bhatt and Vikram Bhatt offered “Tourist A” a role in their forthcoming movie “Gay Salsa” opposite Emraan Hashmi. Emraan seems to be pretty excited about kissing a guy..

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Help and pray for all the victims of the bomb blast

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[digg=http://digg.com/comedy/The_Jaipur_Diwali]

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