The growing craze of IPL has sabotaged the whole business of Reality Shows in India. Prior to IPL, you could see a new homosexual Reality Show every other day. Some of the prime examples of these shows are Star Voice of India, Indian Idol, KBC, Big Boss, Koffee with Karan. I got so inspired from this craze that even I tried to start my own TV Shows. I contacted India TV and they asked me to send some ideas about the shows. Here is a small list of the shows that I wanted to start…
1) Big Bitch
2) Kaun Banega Rakhi Sawant ka Pati (Host: Her used up condom boyfriend Abhishek)
3) Booze with Bobby Darling
4) Cunt Voice of India (Judges: Himesh Reshammiya, Anu Malik and a Dildo ready to fuck that cunt voice)
5) Kya aap Ass se tez hain? (Host: The Ass himself “Mahesh Bhatt”)
But sadly, IPL ruined my plans. But, Zee Television has decided to start their own lesbo Talk Show with Rakhi Sawant as the host. It is called “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”. The main motive behind this step is to destroy IPL with the help of big boobs of Rakhi, as this is what Indian Men crave for, even more than Cricket. Producer of the show asked me to see the shoot. How could I say no to such a momentous event in the history of FUCKED UP INDIAN TELEVISION? The show is expected to start with a bang like a gang bang, with as many as 11 stars together on the stage showing their banging skills. I went to the shooting and here is what I saw.
Rakhi: Welcome all of you to my pussy licking show, “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”.
Random guy from the rented audience: Die nameless Bitch!
* Rakhi blushing, Producer smiling as he thinks it’ll increase the TRP”
*TRP – Total Request Porn*
Rakhi: Thank you sir and I also welcome the Celebrity Guests of the evening.
*Rented audience clapping as they were given free booze and chicken to do this*
Rakhi: So my first question is for Shahrukh. How are you feeling after losing the battle of the favourite Krazzy 4 item number?
SRK: I didn’t lose the battle. I gave you the title…
Rakhi: Oh please, everyone knows that I’m the ITEM of Bollywood!
Random guy from rented audience: Yeah you’re the ITEM, how much do you charge for one night bitch?
Rakhi: Rs 10 for twosome sex, Rs 20 for threesome and Rs 30 for Group Sex…
Shambhavi(Roadie): I charge only Rs 5 coz I’d already fucked all the guys on MTV ROADIES
Bobby Darling: I’m free!
*Random guy confused between so many sluts*
Rakhi: Shut up Bitches; let’s move on to Hrithik… I heard you’re becoming a father for the second time… how are you feeling? Don’t you have any self-control?
Hrithik: Actually third baby is also coming…
Rakhi: Susan is having twins?
Hrithik: No, Actually I’m doing a kiss scene with this Hollywood slut…
Rakhi: Baby from a kiss?
Hrithik: This is how Indians make babies right? Raja Hindustani anyone?
Aamir: No piece of shit, I’m so perfect that no one came to know when I fucked Karishma… I’m the Number 1 MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Rakhi: Shut up you baldy shit.. Did you shave your pubes too?
Aamir: I shaved your pubes when YOU, ME AUR HUM were having a threesome
Rakhi: Fuck off… now let’s talk to Abhishek and Aishwarya… So Ash, tell us about your Big Boob Show at Cannes… What were you thinking? Trying to beat me in Boob size?
Aishwarya: I wanted to show Salman and Vivek “THE STUFF” that they’ve missed!!
Abhishek: I wanted to tell Rani Mukherjee and Karishma about “THE STUFF” that I got by marrying Ash!!
*A big pole is visible in Salman’s skinny jean while Rani is looking under her bra…*
*Random guy got caught masturbating to Ash’s Cannes picture*
*Aishwarya blushing, Rakhi Jealous…*
Rakhi: So Saif, you seem to be pretty angry about your sister’s pictures in the Maxim Magazine… Why were you not angry when Kareena did the same thing for FHM..?
Saif: Well, I’m Kareena’s dog and I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of her ex-dog “Shahid Kapoor”… I’m really insecure about Kareena… I get to fuck her in doggy-style you see!!
Kareena: Yeah, Saif is my dog, people put collars around their dogs, and I got him a tattoo saying “Kareena”…
*Rakhi impressed and now looking towards her dog Abhishek*
*Random guy still running from police with his cum on Ash’s picture*
Bobby Darling(dreaming): O yeah! O yeahhh!! Fuck me Shahid! Fuck me! Fuck me with your 3 inch dick!!
Rakhi: Wake up bitch from your faggot dream… and I think you told us the reason why Kareena left her ex-dog.
*Kareena proudly touching 4 inch dick of Saif*
Rakhi: So Raghu, first of all congrats for the success of Roadies 5.0, finally you gave two new sluts to Bollywood, “ANMOL and SHAMBHAVI”.. anyways what are your views about Aarushi Murder Case?
Raghu: I think they gave the case to CBI for further investigation..
Rakhi: Wait, CBI? CUNTLESS BITCHES INSTITUTE?
*Raghu bangs his head on the wall and starts crying*
Rakhi: Cry Baby… and how can we forget our Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor? How are you? You look really cute with each other… So how many times have you fucked each other?
Deepika: I’m still a virgin… I really love Ranbir and I’ll make love with him after our marriage…
*Random guy announces the latest mms scandal… Deepika giving Yuvraj a blow job*
*Deepika deleting Yuvraj’s naked wallpaper from her mobile*
* Now a pole is visible in Ranbir’s skinny jean*
And this is how the show ended. It was one hell of a night. No wonder it’ll beat IPL in TRP! Make sure to watch it and have a blast.
Rating – SHOW IS FOR ADULTS ONLY
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News to confirm the show
http://sify.com/movies/bollywood/fullstory.php?id=14681152
http://www.mid-day.com/web/guest/entertainment/bollywood/article?_EXT_5_articleId=1146774&_EXT_5_groupId=14
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