Tag-Archive for » Bollywood «

It was the beginning…

It was not that long ago, 2007 to be precise, when people were a big fan of typical “masala” films. People didn’t bother about the logic either, they were too happy to watch their favorite stars, irrespective the quality of the movie that they were doing. But in 2008, things started changing.

Suddenly, films of big stars were turning into flops, and many big budget movies tanked at the box office . The sure shot formula of comedy movies stopped working, which was working fine in 2007. Big films like Drona, Yuvvraaj, Love Story 2050, Karzzz etc. were big time disasters. This happened despite of the fact that all of them were heavily promoted.

And small budget films with no face value actors like A Wednesday, Welcome to Sajjanpur, Mumbai Meri Jaan, Rock On and Aamir etc. were doing better business than many big budget movies. Moreover, they were appreciated by people and critics alike from all over India. This was a clear indication that Bollywood was changing, and for the better!

And now let’s talk about 2009. Chandni Chowk to China, 2009’s first big released, tanked big time at the box office, and even Akshay Kumar couldn’t save it. What was the reason behind that? The script of the movie was written poorly, director was third class, and don’t even make me start talking about the action scenes.

And then Dev D released which was not heavily promoted, but is doing very good business and has been appreciated by everyone. One of the reasons it worked because it was unique, cleverly written and had powerful performances.

It’s now clear that people don’t watch movies just because of stars, now they watch movies which have some quality. Audience is smarter these days but sadly, filmmakers are still acting as nincompoops.
Let’s find out some reasons why Bollywood is changing and how it’ll affect the future.

1. The Multiplex audienceUndoubtedly, they have the most important role to play in the transmutation of Bollywood, which we are seeing today. As I said above, audience is getting smarter and this is our Multiplex audience only. They pay a very high price to watch movies and they don’t want to waste their precious money on watching some crap film. They want quality, and it doesn’t matter who the actor is. A Wednesday, Dev.D and Rock On are the prime examples for this.

2. The Youth and the Internet and the exposure to Hollywood – According to many surveys, a large proportion of the movie watching audience comprises of people between the age group of 18 – 35. Now you must be thinking how is this affecting Bollywood? Let me tell you how.

Today, almost everyone in India, especially in big cities, have an internet connection. Many of the hardcore internet users use the internet to download movies, music and ahem… porn. Due to this, they’ve a lot of exposure to Hollywood movies, which are known for their scripts, special effects, and superb performances. As a consequence of this, they know what quality is and they expect the same standard from Bollywood.

But when our filmmakers give us movies like Victory, CC2C, Yuvvraaj, they know that this movie is going to be another crap, and they keep themselves away from such stuff, and thus the movie flops. We’re getting smarter cinematically because of Hollywood, which is a good thing.

3. The Young FilmmakersYoung people are coming with fresh ideas and new approach towards filmmaking. As they are young, they instantly connect with the moving going audience, which I said earlier, is filled with young people, which result in hits. Dev.D is the perfect example as the language of the film was the normal talk we use every day.

The Award Functions

Another aspect which got affected badly this year is the award functions of Bollywood. If you go through the nominations of this year, you’ll find a “Reader’s choice” and “Critics choice” related voting system in almost every award ceremony. Now this critic system was not that popular couple of years back.

But this year, they are giving too much important to both of these systems. Why? Because they know the audience is smart now, so they can’t ignore critically acclaimed movies. That’s why you see “A Wednesday” winning this year, while Khosla Ka Ghosla didn’t win any award in 2005, in the major categories.

As these movies don’t have any big stars, award organizers are in a big conundrum. If they are start giving awards to these small budget movies then the big stars won’t attend the function and then the T.V ratings will drop. Honestly, if we leave out Filmfare, all other award functions don’t have any standard. They all are known for licking stars’ asses to bring them to functions.

So, in order to give them awards, they give them through Reader’s choice awards. And to be very frank, I don’t trust these awards, after seeing the winners of Max Stardust awards. According to their reader’s choice awards, best film is Singh is Kinng. This clearly explains how badly they are licking the ass of Akshay Kumar. In a poll conducted by Bollywood Hungama, Ghajini and Rab ne Bana Di Jodi were the top two movies, according to readers, and I do trust that result.

The organizers knew that Aamir Khan was not going to accept the award anyway, and people have something against Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, so they gave the award to Singh is Kinng. I’m not getting into any actor war, I’m stating a point. Check out the imdb.com profiles of all the 3 movies and you’ll know what I’m talking about. And A Wednesday is not nominated as the best film in Filmfare awards this year, how come? Dostana, Ghajini, Singh is Kinng got nominated but not A Wednesday? That’s a fucking conspiracy.

The thing is that the sudden change in the taste of audience has shocked everyone. It’ll take some time to get used to this. One thing they should is to lift their standards and stop following the actors like a dog chasing a car. And please, telecast the function live! We should go towards the Oscar way, which is the clear indication of classic movies, you can’t doubt that!

I’m hoping that the nominations of next year would be better, and fair, with focus on the actors who gave good performances, irrespective to their star status.

Survival of the Fittest

Bollywood is going through evolution and it is now the time of Survival of the Fittest. Only those people will survive who can mould them according to the latest trends. If you can’t then your career is over. The new wave is coming, and it’s going to change everything for forever.

All the big stars have to do critically acclaimed cinema in order to win awards and applause from the audience. Shahrukh Khan, Aamir Khan, and Hritihik Roshan are somewhat safe as they have My Name is Khan, 3 Idiots, and Kites under their belts, respectively.

Salman Khan is pretty much out of the race and his career is almost over with back to back flops last year. And this brings us to Akshay Kumar, if he starts doing something other than comedy then he has a little chance otherwise he is also gone.

Now let’s come to the young actors. Shahid Kapoor is in real danger now because he is known as the next lover boy of Bollywood, which is not a good sign and if you see his past films, most of his movies are love stories.

Imran Khan is doing an interesting film “Delhi Belly” and he has a good chance of surviving, but he has to work on his acting skills and voice modulation badly. Otherwise, he’ll be a one hit wonder.

And the last two actors, Ranbir Kapoor and Farhan Akhtar. Ranbir Kapoor certainly has the charisma, and the acting talent to survive in Bollywood and Farhan Akhtar is the next big thing. With two critically acclaimed films under his belt, Rock On!! and Luck By Chance under his belt, Farhan is ready to rock.

The News Dose

If you’ve to anything to say about the article or want to represent your views then feel free to do that by typing in the comment box below.

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4. Billu Barber Movie Review – It’s a sweet and simple film.
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Billu Barber or Billu, as many would say, especially people from the Salon and Beauty Parlour associations, is ‘delightful’, if I’ve to describe it in one word. Starring Irfan Khan, Lara Dutta in the lead and with Shahrukh Khan in a supporting role, Billu Barber is a perfect film to watch in this love season.

Synopsis

Directed by Priyadarshan, and produced by Shahrukh’s own production house, Red Chilies Entertainment, Billu Barber is a film about a barber, Billu (Irrfan Khan), living in a village called “Budbuda” in Uttar Pradesh. Along with him, there is his wife Bindiya (Lara Dutta), their two kids, and a whole village which is filled with nincompoops. Billu’s life is not that great, to say the least, he has no money to pay the fees of kids education, no money to buy new chair, scissor, and even a comb for his shop. But, the optimistic Billu carries on his life until Sahir Khan (Shahrukh Khan) comes to the village for shooting.

The whole village goes crazy and the word goes around that Billu and Sahir are childhood friends. And this is when the whole life of Billu turns upside down. People who never helped him suddenly start showering him with favors, even the school authorities who are ready to pay the fees from their school fund, but only on one condition, Billu has to talk to Sahir and invite him to their school function. But our Billu is too ashamed to go in front of him.

Story is simple

The story of Billu Barber is simple, and that was what required for this film. It’s also predictable and you can guess the ending of the film before even entering the cinema hall but you’ll never lose your interest in the film, particularly because of the performances and the witty dialogues.

Script is strong

The script is top notch but with very few flaws here and there. One of the strongest points of the script is that it is straight to point and it never alienates from its main point, which is the difference between the worlds of Shahrukh Khan and Irrfan Khan, which was very essential to create the mood of the film. Billu Barber is filled with many funny moments, especially the one involving Om Puri and Asrani when Om Puri comes to Billu’s shop to gift him a chair. I won’t tell the scene because if I did then it would kill the fun.

Music is good

Music, as I earlier said in the music review, is very good. Marjani and Love Mera Hit Hit are already chartbusters in the whole India. You Get Me Rockin & Reeling, which sounds average on the first listening is good, too, all thanks to hot Priyanka Chopra. The other songs which shine are Billu Bhayankar and Jaoon Kahan. Ae Aa O was really not required in the film. Background score was above average.

They censored out the words “Hajaam” and “Barber” from the song Billu Bhayankar which really killed the song. I don’t see what’s so bad about these words.

The Three Divas

If you’ve Kareena Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, and Priyanka Chopra doing item numbers in a single movie then whistles are always expected and that is what exactly happened when all three came on screen. Out of all three, it’s Priyanka who takes the cake. Priyanka is hotness at its best in “You Get Me Rockin & Reeling”. The whole “glamour quotient” which was absent in the film was fulfilled with these three songs.

Outstanding Performances

Irrfan Khan, as Billu, shines in the movie and is the show stealer. Appearing as a lead actor in a commercial film for the first time, Irrfan Khan gives his best and it shows on screen. He is undoubtedly, one of the best actors of our time, and is no longer under-rated. Watch out for that scene when he calls in Shahrukh’s hotel in hope to talk to him, and check out his expressions and the modulation in his voice, mind blowing!

Lara Dutta is amiable in her role and shows her acting talent. The other heroines who refused the role might be regretting it now after watching her performance. The child artists playing the kids in the movie are confident and their comic timing is perfect. Their relationship with Irrfan and Lara looks authentic.

Om Puri, Rajpal Yadav, and Asrani are good, too. They handle the comedy department of the film very well.

The Last Twenty Minutes

It’s the last twenty minutes when Shahrukh comes and drop the “emosanal (emotional) bomb” on you when he gives a speech to school kids where he recalls his childhood days and his friend Billu. Role of Shahrukh is not that big and in most of the part, he is playing himself. But at the end, he shows why he is the best actor in Bollywood, along with Aamir Khan, and why we cry every time he gets emotional.

That speech and the meeting of Irrfan and Shahrukh is the high point of the movie. Often we see people talking on their cell phones during the movie, but in those 20 minutes, no one talked. If they were getting calls, they didn’t answer it. Those 20 minutes truly absorb you in the movie, and it makes sure that you cry.

Negative points of Billu Barber

If film lacks somewhere then it is the first half of the film, maybe because the attention given to the role of Shahrukh Khan which was not required. First half should have been totally about Billu and his life and how he copes up with all the stress.

Dubbing is also not good, you can clearly see them saying things which are not audible and the timing is not perfect. It’s the high time we adopt the sync sound technology and trash the dubbing system. Editing could have better and some places. Background score could have been better especially during the ending.

Verdict –

Billu Barber is a very simple, sweet and innocent film portraying the power of friendship. It’s undoubtedly Priyadarshan’s best work till date. Billu Barber belongs to Billu, Irrfan Khan, for his powerful performance, and he is, indubitably, one of the strongest contenders for the best actor award next year. Lara Data and the supporting cast shines in their roles.

Shahrukh Khan in his small role hits all the right notes and he plays his best cards during the ending where he lifts the standard of the movie to a whole new level with his powerful speech.
Billu Barber is a must watch film, especially since it’s released near Valentine’s Day.

Take your friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, or your family along with you and enjoy this sweet film.

Rating –

Cast – Irrfan Khan, Lara Dutta, Shahrukh Khan

Music Director – Pritam

Movie Director – Priyadarshan

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them and vote in the poll.

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4. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.
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Billu Barber, Red Chillies production, is already making waves for its hot item numbers which feature top actresses of Bollywood; Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra. First things first, Billu Barber is the film of Irrfan Khan and not Shahrukh Khan, which many people are assuming. It’s the first time that Pritam is giving music for Shahrukh’s production and same with Neeraj, who is giving background voice for Shahrukh Khan.

The soundtrack of Billu Barber comprises of 15 tracks, yes 15, and out of that, 7 are originals and the rest of the tracks are remixes. Well, the first thing that goes in favor of Billu Barber is the wide range of songs. From typical club bangers to village anthems, everything is in there. And for the first time after Jab We Met, songs don’t appear to be copy of South Korean artists, I hope it’s true, Pritam. Now, let’s review the soundtrack.

1. Marjaani

The opening track of the soundtrack, also the first promo of the movie, featuring Kareena Kapoor and Shahrukh Khan, is already a hit among the masses. Most of the credit should be given to Sukhwinder Singh and Sunidhi Chauhan. The voice of Sukhwinder is perfect and Sunidhi adds her own magical touch. I don’t think any other singer can do so much justice to this number. Also, credit should be given to Pritam, for providing the rocking music.

Lyrics are top notch, but people who are not much used to Punjabi lyrics and the language, can find it difficult to understand the lyrics. But, when the music is so thumping, you hardly get a chance to think about the lyrics, if you’re in a club.

2. Love Mera Hit Hit

Love Mera Hit Hit, is undoubtedly, the biggest club number of the year, I don’t think any song in 2009 will be able to match its energy, and enthusiasm. Add to that super hot dance number of Deepika Padukone, Love Mera Hit Hit, is a sure shot hit. The real star of the song is, of course, Neeraj Shridhar. Tulsi Kumar, can be wrong choice for some, and honestly, I didn’t like her during the first listen. But, she grows on you gradually. Sunidhi or Shreya could have done a better job, considering Shreya Ghoshal did an awesome job in Latoo, in the soundtrack of Ghajini.

Music is of the highest quality, and sets the mood for a perfect dance number. What makes this song a contender for the national anthem of this year is the lyrics, especially on the chorus. Ashish Pandit and Mayur Puri have done a wonderful job with the lyrics and Pritam has done his job again.

3. You Get Me Rockin & Reeling

You Get Me Rockin & Reeling, supposedly to be performed by Priyanka Chopra and Shahrukh Khan can be a letdown to some. Unlike the first two songs, You Get Me Rockin & Reeling will not catch your attention during the first listen and it’ll take a lot of plays to grow on you. But, I think the music video of the song will change everything because if we go by the cover art of the album, music video of this song will be the best of the three.

Neeraj can’t do much of a job in this song because he doesn’t get so much scope to perform, and add to that some English verses, which were not required at all. The only high point of the song is the chorus, which surprisingly, is also used in another song in the album.

4. Ae Aa O

I don’t have really much to write about Ae Aa O, as it is not that original, but the guitar riffs in the starting rocks! Well, the song is basically about how great I’m. It’ll certainly appeal to those who think that they are the best and need some song to send out that message.

Music doesn’t have any consistency, sometimes it’s a total bore and sometimes, especially during the guitar riffs, it just blows you away. KK tries really hard to make it amiable but succeed to some extent, but the 5 minute length of the song kills it in the first place.

5. Jaoon Kahan

After 4 songs belonging to Shahrukh Khan, Jaoon Kahan is about the emotions of Irrfan Khan. Sung beautifully by Raahat Fateh Ali Khan, Jaoon Kahan is one of the best songs of the album. I’ve noticed that Raahat Fateh Ali Khan has a unique ability to take any average song to a whole new level with his voice, and Pritam knows it very well.

Lyrics clearly describe the emotions of Irrfan Khan, and all the credit goes Sayeed Quadri. The main backdrop of the song, can sometimes make you remember Teri Ore, from Singh is Kinng. Emotions are perfect and you’ll love this song, and honestly, you will not mind the length of the song.

6. Billoo Bhayankar

Billoo Bhayankar really tests the talent of Pritam and surprisingly, he passes with 100 out of 100 with this one. Billoo Bhayankar is not a chartbuster song, and some songs are never meant to be chartbusters, they are meant for critical acclaim. From singing style to lyrics to music and the music instruments, everything is unique.

The success of the song belongs to Gulzar, who wrote wonderful lyrics for the song, and probably the most difficult ones. Ajay Jhingaran, Raghuveer and Kalpana have done a brilliant job in rendering their voice to the song. It would certainly be a high point in the movie.

7. Khudaya Khair

Khudaya Khair is a typical romantic number but refreshing Soham Chakraborty, In Dino fame, is a surprise inclusion in the song and he is the one who make this song a worthwhile listen. Akriti Kakkar and Monali do a good job in supporting the vocals of Soham. Lyrics are fine and the chorus of this song is the same that of You Get Me Rockin & Reeling.

Verdict

Billu Barber is a clear winner for Pritam, who for the first time gives us some original music. Marjaani and Love Mera Hit Hit are the two number ones hits of 2009. Soundtrack comprises of critical material such as Billoo Bhayankar and Jaoon Kahan.

The rest of the three original songs are average and only one of them has the ability to be a hit when the music video will be released. The biggest downfall of the album is the 8 remixes. If I gave an extra star to Dostana for not including any remix then I’ve to cut 1 star from Billu Barber for including so many remixes. Honestly, there was no need of so many remixes.

Nevertheless, Billu Barber is a great album and it’s a good start for Billu Barber, the movie.

Rating –

Cast – Irrfan Khan, Lara Dutta, Shahrukh Khan.

Music Director – Pritam

Movie Director – Priyadarshan

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them and vote in the poll.

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Yuvvraaj
2008 proved to be a really bad year for Bollywood, with very few hit films and innumerable flop films which include many mega budgets and just when you thought 2008 can’t get worse than this for Bollywood, another bomb drops again and this time it is, Subhash Ghai’s, Yuvvraaj.

I, normally, never like when people talk during the movie, but thank god, they made fun of the movie otherwise I would have left the theater during the movie only.

Well, nothing was right for Yuvvraaj from the starting of the promotions. Music has not been well received, promos lacked the required punch, and then there was Zayed Khan who seriously needs to quit this industry or at least join some acting class.

Yuvvraaj is a vacuous effort from the showman himself, who gave us legendary movies in the past. Nothing is right about this movie, except Anil Kapoor.


For first, script of the movie is so stupid that you would laugh during the emotional scenes, believe me, people were laughing and add to that imbecilic dialogues which directly came from the movies of 1970s. Background score of the movie is a total waste and only two songs are good in the movie; “Tu Meri Dost Hain” and “Shano Shano.”

Subhash Ghai spent most of his time and money searching for exotic locations, if he had spent half of that time and money on his editor then Yuvvraaj would be have somewhat watchable. Most of the movie scenes start with a fade-in effect and end with fade-out effect.

You can’t blame the editor much if the direction of the movie is weak. Mr. Ghai, here is a suggestion for you, how about watching some 2008 movies and then directing a film? I’m sure you would do much better. Exotic locations, beautiful sets, and foreign people don’t attract Indian audience anymore.

And what’s with the subtitles in Hindi for the English dialogues spoken by foreign actors? We can understand English pretty well, thank you!

Now let’s talk about the foreign actors or are they really actors? I mean, Mr. Ghai, you could have spent a little money on hiring some good actors instead of wannabe people on the streets who act even worse than Katrina Kaif, ok that’s not right, no one can act worse than Katrina.

What about the scene in which Katrina and Salman are in a restaurant and talking and the angle is such that you get to see foreign actors in the front with wine glasses. You’ve to watch that scene, they didn’t do a thing sitting there, and the lady was too hesitant to drink the wine. I wonder what was in it.

Talking about acting, there is none. If you leave out Anil Kapoor, who is the only saving grace of the movie, then there is no one in the movie who knows how to act. What the hell happened to Salman Khan in Yuvvraaj? After giving such a good performance in Heroes, he is like total blank here and those inconsistent looks of him don’t help either.

And if you’ve Zayed Khan and Katrina Kaif as other leads then only God can save you. Katrina doesn’t do anything in the movie except looking good just like her other films and this time she is defeated by the girl who played Zayed Khan’s gold digger girl friend (the girl in Shano Shano song). It was a delight to watch her whenever she came on screen, even though she couldn’t speak Hindi that well, but at least, she knew some acting.

People were mocking Zayed’s acting and laughing at him, especially the scene in which his car broke down and he was screaming in the middle of the road.

Then there are bunch of supporting actors who are just smiling here and there and don’t know the “abc” of acting. You’ve to see the expressions of those actors, seriously. This is also because of the bad editing and Mr. Ghai’s outdated style.

And this leaves us to Anil Kapoor, playing the autistic son, who only knows how to act in the whole crew. If it hadn’t been for him, I would have given Yuvvraaj a big ZERO. Salman, Zayed, and Katrina should learn something from this guy, who is, undoubtedly, the most versatile actor in our industry today.

Verdict

Yuvvraaj is a not a movie which you should watch by spending your hard-earned money, hell, don’t even waste your internet’s bandwidth in downloading the pirated copy of this film, because it doesn’t deserve it.

Mr. Ghai, with all due respect, I’ve to say that you’re still stuck in 1970s era and you’ve to come out of it seriously. If you’re teaching this type of stuff in your film school then God saves our film industry. Even those extra “v” and “a” will not be able to save this movie from becoming a flop. Better luck next time.

Rating –

Cast – Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor, Zayed Khan, Katrina Kaif, Boman Irani, Mithun Chakraborty

Music Director – A R Rahman

Movie Director – Subhash Ghai

Do you want to comment on the movie or my review? Then go to comment box and do it. I’ll reply to them and don’t forget to vote in the poll.

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Day after day, I see every other Bollywood website commenting on who is the real King of Bollywood. It’s like the burning topic for the country, even more than why that “wannabe assassinator” from Bihar got shot, or why Politicians of India are not even leaving the chance to play politics on his death, or when will Raj Thackeray die, or the best question, why a BLACK Obama is going to the WHITE house? I mean these are serious questions, right? Especially the last one if you are a racist.

To the poor souls, who participate in the fight of “King of Bollywood” and ma$turbate while sitting in front of their PCs in lieu of doing something productive, I’m going to clear your doubts for once and all. To those lucky souls who never got to see such discussions, here is a sample of what happens in the fight.

But first, you’ve to realize that they fight as if they are those actors, so don’t be surprised about their use of language.

Here is a log of the fight.

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*Akshay Kumar Fan (AK) joined the chat on his virtual scooter with a slogan “Indian audience love brainless comedies coz they don’t have a brain”, while Shahrukh Fan (SRK) is smoking despite the ban on smoking in public chat rooms by Internet Health Minister, P0rn Lover.*

*Aamir Khan Fan (A) is busy in writing a blog entry about his love for dogs and about his new pappu, I mean puppy, Imran Khan. News Dose (ND), on the other hand, is wasting time on Orkut, Facebook, Twitter and other countless social networking sites in trying to make contacts with hot girls.*

AK: So SRK, I heard music of your new movie, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, just got released and I also heard that NewsDose gave it 5 stars. He sounds like a Fan of yours. It’s biased.

SRK: Yeah, so? It deserves it.

AK: O c’mon, you know songs suck. I mean, a harmonium in the song, really? In which year are you living? 1950? Where is the hip-hop and hot b!tches? Show me some bling and Snoop Dogg, nigga.

SRK: It would be totally inappropriate coz I’m playing a boring character in the movie just like I’m in real life. I’m boring, unromantic, and with a white hair.

AK: Yeah right! You’re boring, that’s why I’m the King of Bollywood. You know why youth loves me? Because I give them Katrina Kaif, showing her cleavage and hot a$$, on which they can drool so that they don’t give a $hit about the story.

SRK: And I give them Deepika Padukone, who changes her boyfriend every other day. I’m pretty sure Anushka will follow her footsteps.

*AK thinking – “Damn! That’s true. I don’t have any more $luts. Shilpa Shetty doesn’t talk to me now. $hit.”*

*ND drooling over the pictures of hot girls while Aamir’s fan is uploading the pictures of Aamir Khan using Imran Khan to get girls*

*After 10 seconds pause*

AK: You know what? You $uck. I’m the king. I gave 4 back to back hits.

SRK: So did me.

AK: But I gave them in one year. And guess what? I’m getting 100 crores for new movie. HA! Beat that, you @$$hole.

SRK: Any proof?

*Pause for 10 seconds*

AK: You know what? I’m getting 100 crores and that’s it. I’m the King and King is always right.

*Aamir’s fan realizes that Aamir is losing the battle*

Aamir: Hey! How the hell can you forget me? I’m the perfectionist! Muhahahaha!

SRK: And here comes the baldy.

Aamir: What did you call me? You’re a piece of my dog’s $hit, you know that?

AK: Great going, Aamir. Let’s kill him together. HAHA

Aamir: What are you laughing about, you brainless creature. Watch my movies someday and learn some story telling from it. I’m the best!

AK: Then why does your new movie, Ghajini, looks like a tamil movie? And hey, I thought we were together in this battle against SRK.

Aamir: I don’t need anyone, that’s why I kicked Amol from Taare Zameen Par and took all the credit. I’m the real KING. I’ll do the same thing for Ghajini, if it succeeds on box office.

SRK: Give me a break; you are an Idiot of 3 idiots. A dumb@$$.

*Suddenly, Salman Khan’s Fan enters the room in his virtual car and with a picture of Aishwarya in his one hand and his other hand is somewhere down.*

*ND is still busy in collecting the pictures of hot girls*

SK: What the hell is going on? *Closing the zip of his pants*

AK: Ah! Three SRK haters now. It’s fun. Tell him who’s the King, Salman.

SK: I don’t know but it is not SRK. He is one selfish guy who took my Katrina to Dubai on Diwali while I was bursting my crackers alone in my bed, if you know what I mean.

Aamir: Just like you were bursting in your car with Aishwarya’s picture?

SK: Totally, I still remember those good old days. Damn you Abhishek. Anyway, SRK is gay and spends his time with KJO.

*ND completes his collection of hot pictures of hot girls and returns to the chat room.*

*ND reads the whole conversation and decides to act responsibily.*

ND: Why do you guys always fight with each other? Don’t you have anything to do in life?

AK: Yeah, like what? Giving SRK’s movie biased reviews and 5 star ratings, and giving 2 stars to mine? F*ck you.

SK: Yeah, I think SRK gives u his thing behind your thing, if you know what I mean.

ND: Listen people, all those superstars don’t even know you. They’re earning millions and you are wasting your time.

AK: Get lost, you d!ckhead. Let us fight. This is our life and this is what we do.

*SRK, Aamir, and SK say the same thing*

ND: But…

All: Get out, you @#$@%@#^$^$^##%@%@#@

*ND quits the room and now writing a new blog entry about Obama while all 4 morons are still fighting*

So, you see, this is what happens in a so called debate over “The King of Bollywood.” One piece of advice, never participate in such fight coz chances are that you’ll be addicted to it.

And for those poor souls, as I promised earlier and as THE ROCK will say, “It doesn’t matter who’s the KING OF BOLLYWOOD.”

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Do you have any experience of these fights? Do you want to comment on the article or present your views on who’s the real king? Comment box is below. Go for it!
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1. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Music Review – Check out the music review of the most awaited movie of 2008.

2. An Indian Woman is Independent – Are you afraid of Independent women? Or do you want to become one? Then read this post.

3. Are you a loser on the internet? – So, do you think you’re one? Is it difficult to answer? Read the post to find out.

4. Dostana Music Review – Find out if it’s worth to buy (download) the songs?
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Having an affair with 3 hot girls in one life is just a dream of every guy which is impossible, but not for Ranbir Kapoor, who romances with 3 top beauties in the movie Bachna Ae Haseeno this week.

Bachna Ae Haseeno is about Raj Sharma (Ranbir Kapoor), who falls in love with 3 girls during his life cycle from 18 to 30. First, at the age of 18 in 1996, he meets Mahi (Minissha Lamba) in Switzerland, and like any other teenage guy, all he cares about girls, whom he calls “Maal” (read in Hindi).

Mahi is a girl from Amritsar who has seen DDLJ 17 times and is looking for his real life Raj (played by Shahrukh Khan in DDLJ). In short, Mahi is your girl next door looking for love but sadly, her parents are talking about her engagement. While Mahi is looking for a potential life partner in Raj, Raj on the other hand is trying to be a “Killer” in front of his friends.
Bachna Ae Haseeno

Then Raj meets his second love, Radhika played by Bipasha Basu, in 2002 in Mumbai. Now, Raj is a game developer in Microsoft and living a happy life with his “Live-In” girlfriend Radhika, who wants to make big as an actress.

If you don’t know what “Live-In” means then don’t worry, they tell that too in the movie. Just like with Mahi, Raj is also not serious about Radhika and the problem arises when Microsoft transfers him to Sydney. Rest you can see in the movie, I’ll not spoil the fun.

And now in Sydney in 2007, he meets Gayatri (Deepika Padukone), who is a taxi driver, shopkeeper and a B-school student. Gayatri is dissimilar from all the girls that Ranbir knows and that is what catches his attention. And soon, they start spending time with each other and like previous cases, they both start loving each other. But this time, Raj is serious about Gayatri and wants to marry her, but she doesn’t believe in marriage and dumps him. Ouch!

So who gets Ranbir in the end?

I’ve a better question for you. Whom would you choose from these 3 girls?

1.Mahi – A girl next door who is totally romantic and a future housewife.

2.Radhika – A sexy, hot aspiring actress who has some attitude but believes in true love and can sacrifice her career for marriage.

3.Gayatri – A young independent, honest, well-educated, open-minded and ambitious girl who believes in love and also knows about flavored condoms.

You know the answer, I know the answer and even director knows the answer.

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Now enough of the story, let’s talk about the movie. Before talking about that, I’ve one thing for the director. If you shoot a scene with an actor wearing sunglasses then you’re not supposed to show camera or filming crew in them. Moving on to movie, the power of the movie lies in the first half because it is funny and has only 3 emotional scenes. Rest part is funny and you’ll not be able stop yourself from having a smile during the whole part.

Bachna Ae Haseeno works because of its youth appeal and modern approach towards relationships. Moreover, the chemistry between the actors is great and undoubtedly, Ranbir and Deepika looks the best even if you don’t consider their off-screen relationship. I like the way kisses are being shown as normal in Bollywood movies these days and do watch out for the kiss between Ranbir and Bipasha. You can learn something out of it.

And if you are one of those who consider Kiss and sex against Indian culture then this movie is not for you.

Songs are great of the movie, although I gave 2.5 for the soundtrack, but watching the songs on big screen is a treat in itself. Almost every song fits in the movie but “Lucky Boy” looks like an item number instead of a situational song. Also try to reach on time for the movie because the title song of Bachna Ae haseeno comes in the starting. Believe me, you don’t want to miss that at any cost.

Also, I was surprised to see the way they were talking about games like Halo 3 and technical stuff, but I don’t know if I like it or not especially when Deepika talks about online game play because the expressions that Deepika gives while saying the dialogues come out to be counterfeit.

Bachna Ae Haseeno doesn’t work because of the promotion of other Yash Raj movies during the movie. For example; DDLJ, Dhoom and the way they keep on blabbering about DDLJ during the first 20 minutes. Also, the reference to games doesn’t work just like I said above. Director is trying to be cool and trying to impress the youth. Better luck next time.

One more factor that hinders the growth of the movie is the second part of the movie. It’s slow and filled with too many emotional scenes which contradict the first half. It’s not that I’m against emotional stuff but you’ve to do them in a right way.

Performances

Ranbir Kapoor

Honestly, I’ve never seen Saawariya because of the emetic reviews that critics gave, but they did praise Ranbir Kapoor and now I can see why. This guy is a born romantic hero just like his father, Rishi Kapoor. He carries the movie alone on his shoulders and frankly, this whole movie is about him only. He has a bright future in the industry.

Minissha Lamba and Bipasha Basu

Both of them do perfect justice to their roles but you can feel Preity Zinta’s hangover in Minissha’s performance. Nevertheless, they share great chemistry with Ranbir Kapoor and give you some memorable moments. By the way, Bipasha is hot in this movie, but you know it very well.

Deepika Padukone

I’m quite surprised with the role of Deepika. It seems like she gave a guest performance in the movie. You can hardly see her during the second part. Believe me, she only comes for like 5 minutes in second half and that’s a disgrace because many guys, including me, love her a lot. Also, audience is too eager to watch their favorite off-screen couple on-screen.

Furthermore, you can also feel the lack of intensity in her voice during her dialogues. They just don’t appear to be right, maybe they fucked it up during dubbing. She surely has the talent for acting but she needs a lot of work. Don’t worry Deepika you’re definitely better than Katrina Kaif and many others.

Verdict – Bachna Ae Haseeno is a good entertainer and an amiable romantic comedy. Director has done a good job and so as the actors. Forget about Singh is Kinng and God Tussi Great Ho, go watch this one. It’s not a path breaking film, but it’s definitely value for money movie.

Box-office result – I’m really bemused about this one because of Singh is Kinng. I don’t think God Tussi Great Ho, the second release of this week, will do any good at box office. As it is released on Independence Day, it can surely do good business and can be a hit. Addition to this, eagerness of audience to watch Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor will draw a lot of crowd. Yash Raj can finally get a hit after couple of box-office blunders.

Showstoppers – Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Bipasha Basu and Minissha Lamba.

Rating – 3 out of 5

Your Views – Post your reviews and comments on Bachna Ae Haseeno Review in the comment box below. Even if you’ve something againt my review, then also post it but keep it clean. I would be glad to reply to your comments.

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Must Read – Why is India a loser in Olympics? – Find out why and give your views.


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How many times have you heard those Santa Banta jokes? I know, a lot of times. But now people might include one more character to Santa Banta and make it trio and that character would be Happy Singh from the movie Singh is Kinng.

Singh is Kinng

Singh is Kinng is about a halfwit Sikh guy, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar), from a village in Punjab who always cause trouble to village people and they are vexed by his unique ability to cause troubles. So, in order to get rid of him, they pack-off him to Australia to bring underworld King, Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood), back to their village. There he lands into various troubles and meet the love of his life, Sonia (Katrina Kaif), who is already committed.

This is the general outline of the film and to be honest, it is not that “original”. Singh is Kinng is filled with serendipities and misunderstandings. Add a lot of toilet jokes to it, and there you have a typical Anees Bazmee movie. His last movie, Welcome, was a big success, but the same thing can’t be said about the reviews from both the critics and the audience. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out IMDB.com, there it only got 5.4/10 rating from 825 votes.

But that was the past, now let’s get back to Singh is Kinng. Honestly speaking, Singh is Kinng is a very competent idea of the director to make huge money, just like with Welcome, without even giving a damn about the audience who pays a lot to watch an amiable and sensible comedy.

From the title of the movie, you expect it to have some different approach to portray Sikhs in the Bollywood movies unlike those movies in which Sikhs are represented as cretinous (idiots). But no, this movie is the same like those movies. I’m a person who believes in providing full liberty to the artist to express his opinions, even if they offend someone.

But, if you give a title Singh is Kinng to a movie, then I expect you to justify the title of the movie. Sadly, this is not the case with this one. No doubt, this movie would be a big hit, but when it comes to morals and honesty towards your work, it falls flat.

Performances

Akshay Kumar

He is undoubtedly the king of comedies and he is proving his worth with every movie. He really gets into the character of Happy Singh, and delivers it with brilliance.

But again, I’ve one question for him. I know you are a popular star now, but why are you pretending to care about the Sikhs? You go on blabbering about Singh is Kinng on award shows and promotional events, but where is your honesty towards the subject?

Just say that, “I only want to make money out of it and I don’t give a shit about anything else. I want to be the King of Bollywood.”

You should use your popularity to do some movies that can send some good message among the youth of India instead of doing such cheap movies. That is the difference between you and Aamir Khan and ShahRukh Khan.

Katrina Kaif

Please someone tell this girl to stop acting. This is one of the worst performances I’ve seen in a long time. She can even make Ayesha Takia’s performance in De Taali as an Oscar worthy performance.

I know you’ve the looks that can make any guy want to be with you in bed and believe me, directors and producers are using you for this reason only. You don’t stand anywhere close to the other female actors in terms of acting like Vidya Balan, Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor, hell you are even worse than Aishwarya Rai and I’m really serious about this.

Please go to some good acting school and learn some acting. You’re just an eye candy in the movies and I don’t think it is a good sign for your career.

Supporting Cast

I’m really mad about the wastage of Ranvir Shorey in this movie. He is one of the best actors to come out from Bollywood in recent times. Why did you waste such a wonderful talent in your movie, Anees Bazmee?

Om Puri shares a good chemistry with Akshay and gives an above average performance. Kirron Kher really stands out in the movie. Javed Jaffrey, Neha Dhupia and Sonu Sood give average performances.

Final Words – Singh is Kinng is your average Akshay Kumar entertainer. Go to the cinema hall without your brain and you’ll enjoy it, although chances are less. Akshay Kumar carries this movie on his shoulders. If you are a diehard fan of Akshay Kumar, then it would be a perfect treat for you. And if you are not, better wait it to come on TV.

One advice to Anees Bazmee – Please stop making such stupid movies and use your talent in a better way. I know you want to make a lot of money, but please, don’t do it on the expense of someone’s feelings and yes, I’m talking about Sikhs. Have some morals and I’m talking to you too, Akshay!

I’m not a religious fanatic and I simply don’t care about anything but not everyone is like me. But I can bet that many Sikh groups would be pissed at this movie. I was going through the reviews of the movie and found one on Sikhnet. Do read it and you’ll see what they think about this one.

Verdict – If brainless and toilet humor is your taste of a good comedy then go watch it. Be my guest. But if your taste is opposite to mentioned above then refrain yourself from this one.

Box-office result – It would be a big hit as I mentioned earlier, considering the hype around this movie. But sometimes, there is something more than just money which is certainly not true for both the director and the actors.

Rating – 2 out of 5

Your views – Post your reviews on the movie as comments in the box below. Or if you’ve something against my review then also post it. I would be glad to reply to it.

Note to readers – I’m not saying that performance of Akshay Kumar was bad or something, I’m just saying that there was no story at all, humor was cheap and it didn’t justify the title of the movie and the promises it made. You can always read the reviews of other critics like that of Rajeev Masand of CNN-IBN.

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Must Read – Why is India a loser in Olympics? – Find out why and give your views.

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When was the last time a romantic movie complied with your level of penchant? I know, Jab We Met in 2007. But, this is 2008, and it feels like it’s been ages since we saw an up to scratch Bollywood movie, predominantly because of the thrash talking, nauseating and brain slaughtering movies like Tashan, Krazzy 4 and the latest, De Gaali, I mean De Taali.

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na

In spite of all this, Bollywood finally gave us a movie which will make you gaga over its freshness, unique presentation and too good to be true performances and that movie is, indubitably, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na. I think I’m praising too much, but on a second thought, it deserves this.

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na is about Jai Singh Rathore (Imran Khan), also known as Rats and Aditi Mahant (Genelia D’Souza) a.k.a Meow or “Kaali Billi”. Jai is a person who doesn’t believe in violence while Aditi is a girl who is violent and who calls her own brother, “Son of a Bitch”. And, both of them are best friends or let’s just say more than friends. A perfect case of “Opposites attract”.

Based upon the life of 6 college friends, it is a simple yet fresh love story, at least in terms of storytelling, but the same can’t be said for the script as it is based upon the tried and tested formula for love stories in Bollywood. For example; love between two best friends, opposites attract and of course, the Airport climax scene.

But, it is the fresh style of the debut director Abbas Tyrewala, the writer of movies like Munnabhai M.B.B.S and Main Hoon Na, which makes the movie, seem like Dr. Manmohan Singh standing between the uneducated Indian Politicians. Sounds palatable, right?

From the very first frame, you’ll come to know that you are about to witness a rollercoaster ride. But, just like any other movie, it has its own share of rust on it. And in this case, it is the most ignorant mistakes that I’ve ever seen in movies.

Mistake 1

I don’t expect this kind of mistake from Aamir Khan’s production and that is the choppy editing of the movie. There are many scenes which could have been funnier especially the one in which Jai and Aditi’s brother try to catch his pet. Substandard editing and direction totally ruined that wonderful scene.

Mistake 2

There are too many characters and their stories which are not required at all. Take the example of Aditi’s brother who has his own little story which distracts the viewers from the main idea of the movie and it doesn’t hold any significance.

Mistake 3

They are shown as 21 years old youngsters who are too keen to get married. Does it really happen these days? I don’t think so. And, they have spent 5 years in college which makes them 16 when they entered the college. Brainy students, right?

Mistake 4

I want to tell this but I can’t, because it is the climax scene and I don’t want to ruin the fun.

Performances

Imran Khan – He is undoubtedly the next Big Khan. He is really comfortable with his role and does perfect justice to it. I don’t think there is anyone who could have done this role better than him. Moreover, his smile and looks are already a hit among the girls of all age groups. One more thing for the ladies, don’t miss him when he rides the white horse, he surely looks like a king at that time.

I think Ranbir Kapoor should drop another towel to get all the attention back.

Genelia D’Souza – She steals the whole show hands down. She is cute, funny and perfect for the role. She pulls her role off with utter brilliance. It was a surprise as her performance in Mere Baap Pehle Aap was not that good. Nevertheless, she is the one to watch out for.

Supporting Cast – Most of the supporting cast was perfect especially Manjari Phadnis, Ratna Pathak (Jai’s mother), Naseeruddin Shah (Jai’s dad), Ayaz Khan and the three guest appearances. Paresh Rawal in his short role make you laugh more than any character in the movie.

Problem with the movie is that, the director sometimes tries too hard to impress you. And, sometimes, story loses its original path and become confusing thanks to the editing which was carried out with utter shame. I expected a lot from this movie, but, it didn’t live to my expectations because of the stupid mistakes.

In spite of all this, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na is a movie to watch. You just can’t miss it. It is a movie to watch with your friends, or better, with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Showstoppers – Imran Khan, Genelia D’Souza

Rating – 3/5 (I’m being generous for this one)


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The growing craze of IPL has sabotaged the whole business of Reality Shows in India. Prior to IPL, you could see a new homosexual Reality Show every other day. Some of the prime examples of these shows are Star Voice of India, Indian Idol, KBC, Big Boss, Koffee with Karan. I got so inspired from this craze that even I tried to start my own TV Shows. I contacted India TV and they asked me to send some ideas about the shows. Here is a small list of the shows that I wanted to start…

1) Big Bitch
2) Kaun Banega Rakhi Sawant ka Pati (Host: Her used up condom boyfriend Abhishek)
3) Booze with Bobby Darling
4) Cunt Voice of India (Judges: Himesh Reshammiya, Anu Malik and a Dildo ready to fuck that cunt voice)
5) Kya aap Ass se tez hain? (Host: The Ass himself “Mahesh Bhatt”)

But sadly, IPL ruined my plans. But, Zee Television has decided to start their own lesbo Talk Show with Rakhi Sawant as the host. It is called “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”. The main motive behind this step is to destroy IPL with the help of big boobs of Rakhi, as this is what Indian Men crave for, even more than Cricket. Producer of the show asked me to see the shoot. How could I say no to such a momentous event in the history of FUCKED UP INDIAN TELEVISION? The show is expected to start with a bang like a gang bang, with as many as 11 stars together on the stage showing their banging skills. I went to the shooting and here is what I saw.

Rakhi: Welcome all of you to my pussy licking show, “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”.

Random guy from the rented audience: Die nameless Bitch!

* Rakhi blushing, Producer smiling as he thinks it’ll increase the TRP”

*TRP – Total Request Porn*

Rakhi: Thank you sir and I also welcome the Celebrity Guests of the evening.

*Rented audience clapping as they were given free booze and chicken to do this*

Rakhi: So my first question is for Shahrukh. How are you feeling after losing the battle of the favourite Krazzy 4 item number?

SRK: I didn’t lose the battle. I gave you the title…

Rakhi: Oh please, everyone knows that I’m the ITEM of Bollywood!

Random guy from rented audience: Yeah you’re the ITEM, how much do you charge for one night bitch?

Rakhi: Rs 10 for twosome sex, Rs 20 for threesome and Rs 30 for Group Sex…

Shambhavi(Roadie): I charge only Rs 5 coz I’d already fucked all the guys on MTV ROADIES

Bobby Darling: I’m free!

*Random guy confused between so many sluts*

Rakhi: Shut up Bitches; let’s move on to Hrithik… I heard you’re becoming a father for the second time… how are you feeling? Don’t you have any self-control?

Hrithik: Actually third baby is also coming…

Rakhi: Susan is having twins?

Hrithik: No, Actually I’m doing a kiss scene with this Hollywood slut…

Rakhi: Baby from a kiss?

Hrithik: This is how Indians make babies right? Raja Hindustani anyone?

Aamir: No piece of shit, I’m so perfect that no one came to know when I fucked Karishma… I’m the Number 1 MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Rakhi: Shut up you baldy shit.. Did you shave your pubes too?

Aamir: I shaved your pubes when YOU, ME AUR HUM were having a threesome

Rakhi: Fuck off… now let’s talk to Abhishek and Aishwarya… So Ash, tell us about your Big Boob Show at Cannes… What were you thinking? Trying to beat me in Boob size?

Aishwarya: I wanted to show Salman and Vivek “THE STUFF” that they’ve missed!!

Abhishek: I wanted to tell Rani Mukherjee and Karishma about “THE STUFF” that I got by marrying Ash!!

Aishwarya Rai at Cannes
Salman Khan

*A big pole is visible in Salman’s skinny jean while Rani is looking under her bra…*

*Random guy got caught masturbating to Ash’s Cannes picture*

*Aishwarya blushing, Rakhi Jealous…*

Rakhi: So Saif, you seem to be pretty angry about your sister’s pictures in the Maxim Magazine… Why were you not angry when Kareena did the same thing for FHM..?

Saif: Well, I’m Kareena’s dog and I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of her ex-dog “Shahid Kapoor”… I’m really insecure about Kareena… I get to fuck her in doggy-style you see!!

Kareena: Yeah, Saif is my dog, people put collars around their dogs, and I got him a tattoo saying “Kareena”…

*Rakhi impressed and now looking towards her dog Abhishek*

*Random guy still running from police with his cum on Ash’s picture*

Bobby Darling(dreaming): O yeah! O yeahhh!! Fuck me Shahid! Fuck me! Fuck me with your 3 inch dick!!

Rakhi: Wake up bitch from your faggot dream… and I think you told us the reason why Kareena left her ex-dog.

*Kareena proudly touching 4 inch dick of Saif*

Rakhi: So Raghu, first of all congrats for the success of Roadies 5.0, finally you gave two new sluts to Bollywood, “ANMOL and SHAMBHAVI”.. anyways what are your views about Aarushi Murder Case?

Raghu: I think they gave the case to CBI for further investigation..

Rakhi: Wait, CBI? CUNTLESS BITCHES INSTITUTE?

*Raghu bangs his head on the wall and starts crying*

Rakhi: Cry Baby… and how can we forget our Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor? How are you? You look really cute with each other… So how many times have you fucked each other?

Deepika: I’m still a virgin… I really love Ranbir and I’ll make love with him after our marriage…

*Random guy announces the latest mms scandal… Deepika giving Yuvraj a blow job*

*Deepika deleting Yuvraj’s naked wallpaper from her mobile*

* Now a pole is visible in Ranbir’s skinny jean*

And this is how the show ended. It was one hell of a night. No wonder it’ll beat IPL in TRP! Make sure to watch it and have a blast.

Rating – SHOW IS FOR ADULTS ONLY

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News to confirm the show
http://sify.com/movies/bollywood/fullstory.php?id=14681152
http://www.mid-day.com/web/guest/entertainment/bollywood/article?_EXT_5_articleId=1146774&_EXT_5_groupId=14
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