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After celebrating Diwali couple of months back in Jaipur, tourists or as many say “terrorists”, decided to celebrate Diwali in Bangalore and Ahmedabad, and this time, they planned it big. They spent huge amount of money on crackers or as you say “bombs” and first rocked Bangalore, The Silicon Valley of India, and then, rocked Ahmedabad on the very next day, and thus, killing more than 50 people.

bomb blasts

If that was not enough, police found more than 19 bombs in Surat, and the number is still rising in different cities. Before we start blaming the terrorists, we’ve to see what our Police and Intelligence services are doing and honestly, I really doubt their intelligence. They can even put our Pappu, who is Paanchvi fail, to mortification and yes, I’m again referring to “Kya Aap Paanchvi Paas se Tez Hain?”

If Pappu can dance salla then why can’t you protect our country, assholes?

Before going to terrorists, let us talk about our mutton headed politicians. And this time, to make their head proud and to maintain the doltish standards of Indian Politicians, Sushma Swaraj, the ugly bitch, started blaming UPA for the blasts. Let me tell you something Sushma, if you can’t help our country and solace the victims in anyway then you better shut the fuck up and sit down on your dirty ass.

Icing on the cake was that no other leader of BJP came in support of her statement. Mr. LK Advani, the guy who is almost ready to go to his grave, was silent and didn’t give any statement on the whole blame game. But, during the parliament session, he was shouting as if his life was dependent upon it.

The one and only one good thing that happened during the whole scene was the unity of Manmohan Singh and Narendra Modi, even if it was for a short time.

Manmohan Singh and Narendra Modi

Before talking about terrorists and their motives, let us talk about the equivalence between Ram Gopal Verma’s Contract and the blasts. According to Indian news channels, there is a lot of similarity in this reel life and real life situation. Movies are giving ideas to terrorists, as stated by the Indian Media. But, I’ve a different opinion on this whole similarity issue.

If you ask me, terrorists got so thwarted by the movie that they decided to give India what they deserve for making such a crappy movie. In an interview given to The News Dose they said, “We got into so much trouble in obtaining the pirated copy of this movie and he gave us this shit? Fuck you RGV”.

That being said let us now finally move to terrorists. What are their motives? Why are they trying to rock India instead of rocking out with their cocks out in front of Rakhi Sawant’s picture?

In general, they do it because of religion, and I’m not a biased person who’ll say that they were Muslims. Instead of that, I’ll consider them as people who believe in God but sadly, they all are religious fanatics. They think that by killing people of other religions, they are going to impress their God and become heroes.

But, the thing they don’t realize is that, God is only one and by killing innocent people, they would not become any heroes. They are just motherfucking cowards who are too afraid to come out in open and fight face to face. God is not going to forgive for what you did to innocent people, but they are too dumb to understand this.

They think that killing innocent people is the only path to God and the people who bring such thinking into them are our politicians and religious leaders. According to me, you all will spared by God if you start licking Sushma Swaraj’s dirty ass.

In the end, there are some questions left unanswered.

1. Are we really safe in India?

2. Are our police and intelligence services doing any good for our safety?

3. Who are promoting these terrorists in India, Political leaders or Religious leaders?

Do you have opinions or answers to these questions? Post them as comments in the comment box below while I listen to “Yeh Jo Des hai tera” from the movie, “Swades” and pray for the innocent people especially the ladies in the image below. Die you cocksuckers terrorists.

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Help and pray for all the victims of the bomb blasts.

bomb blasts in ahmedabad and bangalore

Bomb blasts
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Also read – Indian Politics – A True Wonder


[digg=http://digg.com/politics/Blasts_in_Bangalore_and_Ahmedabad]

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When Adam and Eve were about to have sexual intercourse for the first time with a Kondom, God came to them and warned them by saying that, “if you will fuck each other using a Kondom in lieu of a Condom, then the whole human race in India will suffer in the far future”. He proclaimed that, “A Big Bitch will walk on this holy land in the body of an ugly slut and she will have a big fetish for the letter K instead of having fetishes for six pack abs or zero size bodies”. But, both Adam and Eve, didn’t take the warning seriously and they kept on humping each other. And now, as a repercussion of that humping, we’re suffering from a disease known as Ekta Kapoor.

So without any further ado, I would like to welcome her to the very first episode of our show, “The Big Bitch”, hosted by your one and only, “Shahid the Gay Kapoor”.

*Rented crowd silent as they were not given any booze or chicken to welcome the guest.*

*Some old retard ladies started crying after seeing the Goddess herself.”

Ekta: Thank you Shahid. You know what? I think you’ve defeated my brother Tushar Kapoor in the competition of gay looks. Congratulations.

*Shahid shying*

Shahid: Thanks Bitch. So let’s move on to our first question, I’ve heard that you are going to embrace Aarushi Talwar’s murder story in your daily soap, is that right?

Ekta: Yes, I think it’s a perfect way to increase the TRP of my serials which have been running from centuries.

Shahid: Don’t you think it is sick?

Ekta: At least it is less sick than watching you romancing with old fat Vidya Balan or that Aarushi the bitch herself. She was humping her 40 year old Nepali servant instead of watching my serials.

Shahid: But it has not been proved that she was sleeping with Hemraj.

Ekta: Shut your mouth ass face, you don’t know anything. This is what happens when you don’t let your kids watch my Indian cultured serials. If she would have been watching my serials then she would have known our Indian culture and the dresses that an Indian woman must wear with all the make-up.

Shahid: But this is imbecilic

Ekta: Yes, this is as imbecilic as your fetish for Justin Timberlake and his gay dance moves. That is why you are trying to copy his dance moves in your latest fucked up movie, “Kismat Konnection”, right gay boy?

Random guy from the crowd: Fuck off you both hermaphrodites

*Old retard ladies beating the shit out of Random Guy*

*Ekta Kapoor giving them blessings*

Shahid: Ok, let’s change the topic; what do you have to say about the latest attempt from Mozilla to set a world record by making Firefox the most downloaded software in a single day?

Ekta: I don’t know about that, but I can surely see a fire in your little fox in your pants which is becoming bigger and bigger with every passing second.

Shahid: How do you know that I call it a Fox?

*Ekta stunned, while other girls and ladies laughing at him*

*Shahid embarrassed*

*Random guy doing something with his fox by keeping the picture of Kareena in front of him*

Shahid: Ok, what do you have to say about your patch-up with Smriti Irani(The Great Tulsi of India)?

Ekta: I’m so happy about that, we’ve always been loyal to each other from the very starting.

Shahid: But we’ve heard that you both are lesbians, is that true?

*Ekta takes out her mobile and calls Tulsi with great anger*

Ekta: Tulsi bitch, why did you tell everyone about us?

*Sounds of moaning coming from the phone*

*Ekta fully anxious*

Ekta: Tulsi! Are you humping someone again?

Karan Johar: Who the fuck is this? Can’t you understand that I and Tulsi are busy?

Ekta: KARAN! I thought you were going to fuck me tonight

Karan: Yeah, I’ll fuck you too, don’t worry darling, we will have a threesome

*Ekta depressed*

*Young teenagers and Shahid laughing*

*Old retard ladies crying*

*Random guy still playing with his fox*

Shahid: Ok, now what will you do?

Ekta: Wait! I’ve just got an idea; I’ll start a new show based on me and Tulsi

Shahid: What would you call it?

Ekta: Kahaani Two Lesbians Ki

Shahid: And who will play the lead roles?

Ekta: Anmol and Shambhavi, the new sluts of Bollywood

Random guy while playing with his fox: Die you fucking slut

*Old retard ladies cheering for Ekta*

Shahid: Best of luck for that, what do you have to say about the movie “Sex and the city”? Planning to launch an Indian version?

Ekta: Love you Shahid, you gave me a wonderful idea. I’ll call it, “Kyonki Kiss bhi Kabhi Sex thi”. My leading ladies will have sex while praying, talking, and plotting against each other and also during dying, during their marriages and also during their plastic surgeries. I’m the best!!

*Splitsvilla facing a tough competition now*

*Old retard ladies blushing*

*Random guy got caught masturbating to Kareena’s pic*

*Shahid and security running after the Random guy*

*Ekta Kapoor fantasizing about her new shows*

*Producer decides to end the show with a “FUCK YOU” message for everyone*


[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/Ekta_Kapoor_The_Big_Bitch_of_India]
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