Tag-Archive for » kismat konnection «

Sep

Race, Jannat, Kismat Konnection, and Singh is Kinng, all of them are the music chartbusters of this year and what’s the common link between them? All of them are composed by Pritam. So what if many of the songs are copied from South Korean artists? Copying is an art, too! Well, for his die-hard fans, he is back again with his new soundtrack for the movie, Golmaal Returns, which is highly anticipated due to the success of Golmaal.

So, does Pritam spin his magic again? Highly unlikely! It looks like Pritam lost his touch on this one and inclusion of previous songs from Golmaal can pretty much confirm that. Yes, there are songs from Golmaal which were composed by Vishal-Shekhar and those are the only saving points of this soundtrack.

Golmaal Returns consist of 15 songs out of which 6 are from Golmaal, 5 are remixes and 4 are originals and there is one English version of one Hindi song. I know that doesn’t sound palatable but we can’t do anything about that. One note to the readers, you’re not going to get any romantic number in this album. Every song is meant to be an upbeat song and it’s not a surprise considering the theme of the movie.

1. Tha Kar Ke

The soundtrack starts with a bang with Tha Kar Ke and I won’t be surprised if you don’t know what it means. Also, this song is composed by a new music director, Ashish Pandit. Ironically, this is the only good song out of all the originals. It may take some time to like this song but once you start liking it, there is no going back. Neeraj Shridhar does his job perfectly and so do the others including Anvesha, Aakariti, Earl and Indie. It’s a pretty solid track with good amount of playback value.

2. Vacancy

I really don’t know what to say about Vacancy. It’s one of those which you either hate or love but can’t ignore. There is a feel of old Golmaal song but with a fast beat. Just like Tha Kar Ke, it is an upbeat song with Neeraj in the lead. Lyrics are nothing special and music is average, too. It’s for hardcore Preetam’s fans. 5 minute length hampers its playback value big time.

When will music composers realize that there is no use of making such a lengthy song? They should learn something from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na soundtrack. One reason for its success was the short length of the songs.

Golmaal Returns

3. Tu Saala

Tu Saala doesn’t make any sense and one wonders why it was included in the album? It is definitely one of the worst songs to come out this year. Thank god, you don’t have to listen it for long time as it is only 3 minutes and 29 seconds long. Phew!

4. Meow

What’s the deal with the song title these days? Last year, it was Dard-E-Disco, and this year, it is Tandoori Nights from the movie Karzzz. Now there is one more addition to this list and that is Meow. I wonder if they were inspired from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, if you know what I mean.

At least, this one is better than Tu Saala with better music and singing but not what you call a chartbuster. It’s an average song with a little playback value. To add to your woes, there is one English version of this song. What was the use of it, anyway? Was Pritam out of ideas for this one?

In a nutshell, music of Golmaal Returns disappoints. Thank god, they included songs from Golmaal. They make the album worth listening. It’s not a good start for Golmaal Returns.

Best Songs – Tha Kar Ke, Golmaal (Original from Golmaal)

Rating –

Cast – Kareena Kapoor, Ajay Devgan, Arshad Varsi, Tusshar Kapoor, Shreyas Talpade, Anjana Sukhani, Amrita Arora, Celina Jaitley

Music Director – Pritam, Ashish Pandit

Movie Director – Rohit Shetty

Do you have anything to say about the soundtrack or do you want to comment on my review? Then feel free to do it by using comment box below.

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Jun

Ekta Kapoor – The Big Bitch of India

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When Adam and Eve were about to have sexual intercourse for the first time with a Kondom, God came to them and warned them by saying that, “if you will fuck each other using a Kondom in lieu of a Condom, then the whole human race in India will suffer in the far future”. He proclaimed that, “A Big Bitch will walk on this holy land in the body of an ugly slut and she will have a big fetish for the letter K instead of having fetishes for six pack abs or zero size bodies”. But, both Adam and Eve, didn’t take the warning seriously and they kept on humping each other. And now, as a repercussion of that humping, we’re suffering from a disease known as Ekta Kapoor.

So without any further ado, I would like to welcome her to the very first episode of our show, “The Big Bitch”, hosted by your one and only, “Shahid the Gay Kapoor”.

*Rented crowd silent as they were not given any booze or chicken to welcome the guest.*

*Some old retard ladies started crying after seeing the Goddess herself.”

Ekta: Thank you Shahid. You know what? I think you’ve defeated my brother Tushar Kapoor in the competition of gay looks. Congratulations.

*Shahid shying*

Shahid: Thanks Bitch. So let’s move on to our first question, I’ve heard that you are going to embrace Aarushi Talwar’s murder story in your daily soap, is that right?

Ekta: Yes, I think it’s a perfect way to increase the TRP of my serials which have been running from centuries.

Shahid: Don’t you think it is sick?

Ekta: At least it is less sick than watching you romancing with old fat Vidya Balan or that Aarushi the bitch herself. She was humping her 40 year old Nepali servant instead of watching my serials.

Shahid: But it has not been proved that she was sleeping with Hemraj.

Ekta: Shut your mouth ass face, you don’t know anything. This is what happens when you don’t let your kids watch my Indian cultured serials. If she would have been watching my serials then she would have known our Indian culture and the dresses that an Indian woman must wear with all the make-up.

Shahid: But this is imbecilic

Ekta: Yes, this is as imbecilic as your fetish for Justin Timberlake and his gay dance moves. That is why you are trying to copy his dance moves in your latest fucked up movie, “Kismat Konnection”, right gay boy?

Random guy from the crowd: Fuck off you both hermaphrodites

*Old retard ladies beating the shit out of Random Guy*

*Ekta Kapoor giving them blessings*

Shahid: Ok, let’s change the topic; what do you have to say about the latest attempt from Mozilla to set a world record by making Firefox the most downloaded software in a single day?

Ekta: I don’t know about that, but I can surely see a fire in your little fox in your pants which is becoming bigger and bigger with every passing second.

Shahid: How do you know that I call it a Fox?

*Ekta stunned, while other girls and ladies laughing at him*

*Shahid embarrassed*

*Random guy doing something with his fox by keeping the picture of Kareena in front of him*

Shahid: Ok, what do you have to say about your patch-up with Smriti Irani(The Great Tulsi of India)?

Ekta: I’m so happy about that, we’ve always been loyal to each other from the very starting.

Shahid: But we’ve heard that you both are lesbians, is that true?

*Ekta takes out her mobile and calls Tulsi with great anger*

Ekta: Tulsi bitch, why did you tell everyone about us?

*Sounds of moaning coming from the phone*

*Ekta fully anxious*

Ekta: Tulsi! Are you humping someone again?

Karan Johar: Who the fuck is this? Can’t you understand that I and Tulsi are busy?

Ekta: KARAN! I thought you were going to fuck me tonight

Karan: Yeah, I’ll fuck you too, don’t worry darling, we will have a threesome

*Ekta depressed*

*Young teenagers and Shahid laughing*

*Old retard ladies crying*

*Random guy still playing with his fox*

Shahid: Ok, now what will you do?

Ekta: Wait! I’ve just got an idea; I’ll start a new show based on me and Tulsi

Shahid: What would you call it?

Ekta: Kahaani Two Lesbians Ki

Shahid: And who will play the lead roles?

Ekta: Anmol and Shambhavi, the new sluts of Bollywood

Random guy while playing with his fox: Die you fucking slut

*Old retard ladies cheering for Ekta*

Shahid: Best of luck for that, what do you have to say about the movie “Sex and the city”? Planning to launch an Indian version?

Ekta: Love you Shahid, you gave me a wonderful idea. I’ll call it, “Kyonki Kiss bhi Kabhi Sex thi”. My leading ladies will have sex while praying, talking, and plotting against each other and also during dying, during their marriages and also during their plastic surgeries. I’m the best!!

*Splitsvilla facing a tough competition now*

*Old retard ladies blushing*

*Random guy got caught masturbating to Kareena’s pic*

*Shahid and security running after the Random guy*

*Ekta Kapoor fantasizing about her new shows*

*Producer decides to end the show with a “FUCK YOU” message for everyone*