Tag-Archive for » Shahid Kapoor «

Sep

Oh boy! It was an experience in itself to watch Dil Bole Hadippa. I don’t know what to write for this movie and I don’t even know if there should be a review for this movie. I mean seriously, what the hell were the makers thinking?

Dil Bole Hadippa

Story

Before giving my review, here is a little bit story and don’t worry spoilers because this movie doesn’t have any as it is predictable from the very beginning. The story revolves around a Punjabi girl Veera Kaur who has a dream to play for India in Cricket at international level. I don’t exactly know where she lives because sometimes they mention Amritsar but on the other hand, they are showing a village and Amritsar is not a village.

Now, there is a friendship between Vicky (Anupam Kher) who is an Indian and Lucky (Dilip Tahil) who is a Pakistani. They hold a cricket match between Indian Tigers and Pakistani Champions annually to celebrate their old friendship. The only problem is that Indian Tigers have been losing from the past 8 years. Therefore, Vicky calls his son Rohan (Shahid Kapoor) from England, who is the captain of a county team, to train the team.

Veera learns about the selection of the team and decides to enter but couldn’t as she is a girl. Therefore, she becomes a boy by putting on beard and gets selected in the team. The rest you can imagine, India winning in the end, romance between Shahid and Rani and the usual blah blah.

Technical Department

Before coming to anything, let me talk about the script. It is filled with so BIG loopholes that even an elephant can get into them, symbolically. Songs are coming out of nowhere, cheesy dialogues, same old GIRL VS BOY fight, girl can do anything and all that blah stuff. It’s not that I’m against it but you’ve to watch the movie to believe how ridiculous they’ve made it.

The first scene of the movie starts with this topic. Then there is old India Pakistan rivalry and friendship. Also, there is the captain in which you can see Kabir Khan of Chak De India. Jaya, Aparajita take a bow.

Here’s a sample. When Veera tries to enter the selection camp, security guard asks her to return home and tell the guys standing there “Jis din is gaun ki ladkion ne cricket khelna shuru kar diya, us din tum choodian pehan lena”. And then there is a crowd of followers of some Goddess pass in front of them and everyone starts praying.

To which Veera replies “Vaah, moorti ke saamne jhuk jaate ho par asli zindagi mein usi aurat ko kuchal dete ho”. Of Course, it was not the exact dialogue as I don’t remember the exact words but its meaning was the same as the dialogue above.

Now, let me come to the director, Anurag Singh. Dude, honestly, you should retire from directing movies and start doing something else. You don’t have 1 percent talent in direction and it would be better for you and for us, if you start doing something else. No wonder many portions have been re-shot of this movie. I wonder what this movie would have been without re-shots.

Music is ok and cinematography is nice. Locations of Punjab have been well captured.

Performances by Actors

Shahid Kapoor: To be very frank, I never considered Shahid a good actor till Kaminey. After Kaminey, my respect for him increased manifold but after watching this, it has come down to previous level. During his captain’s role, he looks exactly like SRK in CDI. The way of talking, talking to other teammates, it was like watching Kabir Khan Part 2. And if it was not enough, he even comes up on stage as SRK of DDLJ (complain the script writers and the director).

And in the rest of the part, he is just Shahid Kapoor. He doesn’t look like Rohan from any angle. He has not done anything in characterization of Rohan. You take his role in Kismat Konnection and this one and compare them. You won’t find a single difference between two characters. They react the same way, walk the same way, attitude is same. This shouldn’t be there because the circumstances, financial conditions, everything is different.

Kudos to Vishal Bhardawaj for making him do acting in Kaminey. I think most of the work on character was done by Vishal only.

Rani Mukerji: Dil Bole Hadippa is supposed to be the comeback movie of Rani. I think, in the whole crew, she is the only one who has done some effort to make the movie work. Her role as Veer Pratap Singh is worth an applause.

But darling, start choosing some better films otherwise it won’t be too long for you to disappear like other actresses. Try doing something out of Yash Raj Camp.

Supporting Cast: Anupam Kher was his usual. Rakhi Sawant did her role of an actress without any conviction. I want to ask one thing to the producers and the director, what the hell was Sherlyn Chopra doing in the movie? Was she there only to show boobs and hot legs? Jesus! I never expected such thing coming out of Yash Raj camp.

Final Verdict

Many people walked off when India won the match in the end. To be honest, I envy those people as they saved themselves from the most tormented scene in the movie. The last 2-3 minute speech by Rani which felt like 2 hours and by the end of which, captain of Pakistani team started clapping. She asks one question, “Why can’t a woman play with Sachin if she plays as good as men?”

Here’s the answer darling; because it’s a Men’s team for god sake. Whoever came up with this dialogue should be thrown out of Bollywood.

I recommend you to not to waste time and money on this. Save your money for What’s Your Raashee which will be releasing next week.

In fact, this movie is so bad that not even a single woman clapped during the movie. Even women rights activists would be ashamed of this one.

In short; Dil Bole Hadippa = Wannabe Chak De India + Wannabe She’s the man + Wannabe DDLJ + Wannabe Indo Pak movie + Wannabe Women rights movie.

Rating –

Cast – Shahid Kapoor, Rani Mukerji, Rakhi Sawant, Sherlyn Chopra, Anupam Kher

Music Director – Pritam

Movie Director – Anurag Singh

Post your comments, reviews and suggestions in the comment box below and I’ll reply to them.

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Category: Uncategorized Tags: Anupam Kher, Rakhi Sawant, Rani Mukerji, Shahid Kapoor, Sherlyn Chopra 2 Comments

Feb

Bollywood is changing, for forever!

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It was the beginning…

It was not that long ago, 2007 to be precise, when people were a big fan of typical “masala” films. People didn’t bother about the logic either, they were too happy to watch their favorite stars, irrespective the quality of the movie that they were doing. But in 2008, things started changing.

Suddenly, films of big stars were turning into flops, and many big budget movies tanked at the box office . The sure shot formula of comedy movies stopped working, which was working fine in 2007. Big films like Drona, Yuvvraaj, Love Story 2050, Karzzz etc. were big time disasters. This happened despite of the fact that all of them were heavily promoted.

And small budget films with no face value actors like A Wednesday, Welcome to Sajjanpur, Mumbai Meri Jaan, Rock On and Aamir etc. were doing better business than many big budget movies. Moreover, they were appreciated by people and critics alike from all over India. This was a clear indication that Bollywood was changing, and for the better!

And now let’s talk about 2009. Chandni Chowk to China, 2009’s first big released, tanked big time at the box office, and even Akshay Kumar couldn’t save it. What was the reason behind that? The script of the movie was written poorly, director was third class, and don’t even make me start talking about the action scenes.

And then Dev D released which was not heavily promoted, but is doing very good business and has been appreciated by everyone. One of the reasons it worked because it was unique, cleverly written and had powerful performances.

It’s now clear that people don’t watch movies just because of stars, now they watch movies which have some quality. Audience is smarter these days but sadly, filmmakers are still acting as nincompoops.
Let’s find out some reasons why Bollywood is changing and how it’ll affect the future.

1. The Multiplex audience – Undoubtedly, they have the most important role to play in the transmutation of Bollywood, which we are seeing today. As I said above, audience is getting smarter and this is our Multiplex audience only. They pay a very high price to watch movies and they don’t want to waste their precious money on watching some crap film. They want quality, and it doesn’t matter who the actor is. A Wednesday, Dev.D and Rock On are the prime examples for this.

2. The Youth and the Internet and the exposure to Hollywood – According to many surveys, a large proportion of the movie watching audience comprises of people between the age group of 18 – 35. Now you must be thinking how is this affecting Bollywood? Let me tell you how.

Today, almost everyone in India, especially in big cities, have an internet connection. Many of the hardcore internet users use the internet to download movies, music and ahem… porn. Due to this, they’ve a lot of exposure to Hollywood movies, which are known for their scripts, special effects, and superb performances. As a consequence of this, they know what quality is and they expect the same standard from Bollywood.

But when our filmmakers give us movies like Victory, CC2C, Yuvvraaj, they know that this movie is going to be another crap, and they keep themselves away from such stuff, and thus the movie flops. We’re getting smarter cinematically because of Hollywood, which is a good thing.

3. The Young Filmmakers – Young people are coming with fresh ideas and new approach towards filmmaking. As they are young, they instantly connect with the moving going audience, which I said earlier, is filled with young people, which result in hits. Dev.D is the perfect example as the language of the film was the normal talk we use every day.

The Award Functions

Another aspect which got affected badly this year is the award functions of Bollywood. If you go through the nominations of this year, you’ll find a “Reader’s choice” and “Critics choice” related voting system in almost every award ceremony. Now this critic system was not that popular couple of years back.

But this year, they are giving too much important to both of these systems. Why? Because they know the audience is smart now, so they can’t ignore critically acclaimed movies. That’s why you see “A Wednesday” winning this year, while Khosla Ka Ghosla didn’t win any award in 2005, in the major categories.

As these movies don’t have any big stars, award organizers are in a big conundrum. If they are start giving awards to these small budget movies then the big stars won’t attend the function and then the T.V ratings will drop. Honestly, if we leave out Filmfare, all other award functions don’t have any standard. They all are known for licking stars’ asses to bring them to functions.

So, in order to give them awards, they give them through Reader’s choice awards. And to be very frank, I don’t trust these awards, after seeing the winners of Max Stardust awards. According to their reader’s choice awards, best film is Singh is Kinng. This clearly explains how badly they are licking the ass of Akshay Kumar. In a poll conducted by Bollywood Hungama, Ghajini and Rab ne Bana Di Jodi were the top two movies, according to readers, and I do trust that result.

The organizers knew that Aamir Khan was not going to accept the award anyway, and people have something against Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, so they gave the award to Singh is Kinng. I’m not getting into any actor war, I’m stating a point. Check out the imdb.com profiles of all the 3 movies and you’ll know what I’m talking about. And A Wednesday is not nominated as the best film in Filmfare awards this year, how come? Dostana, Ghajini, Singh is Kinng got nominated but not A Wednesday? That’s a fucking conspiracy.

The thing is that the sudden change in the taste of audience has shocked everyone. It’ll take some time to get used to this. One thing they should is to lift their standards and stop following the actors like a dog chasing a car. And please, telecast the function live! We should go towards the Oscar way, which is the clear indication of classic movies, you can’t doubt that!

I’m hoping that the nominations of next year would be better, and fair, with focus on the actors who gave good performances, irrespective to their star status.

Survival of the Fittest

Bollywood is going through evolution and it is now the time of Survival of the Fittest. Only those people will survive who can mould them according to the latest trends. If you can’t then your career is over. The new wave is coming, and it’s going to change everything for forever.

All the big stars have to do critically acclaimed cinema in order to win awards and applause from the audience. Shahrukh Khan, Aamir Khan, and Hritihik Roshan are somewhat safe as they have My Name is Khan, 3 Idiots, and Kites under their belts, respectively.

Salman Khan is pretty much out of the race and his career is almost over with back to back flops last year. And this brings us to Akshay Kumar, if he starts doing something other than comedy then he has a little chance otherwise he is also gone.

Now let’s come to the young actors. Shahid Kapoor is in real danger now because he is known as the next lover boy of Bollywood, which is not a good sign and if you see his past films, most of his movies are love stories.

Imran Khan is doing an interesting film “Delhi Belly” and he has a good chance of surviving, but he has to work on his acting skills and voice modulation badly. Otherwise, he’ll be a one hit wonder.

And the last two actors, Ranbir Kapoor and Farhan Akhtar. Ranbir Kapoor certainly has the charisma, and the acting talent to survive in Bollywood and Farhan Akhtar is the next big thing. With two critically acclaimed films under his belt, Rock On!! and Luck By Chance under his belt, Farhan is ready to rock.

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Jun

Ekta Kapoor – The Big Bitch of India

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When Adam and Eve were about to have sexual intercourse for the first time with a Kondom, God came to them and warned them by saying that, “if you will fuck each other using a Kondom in lieu of a Condom, then the whole human race in India will suffer in the far future”. He proclaimed that, “A Big Bitch will walk on this holy land in the body of an ugly slut and she will have a big fetish for the letter K instead of having fetishes for six pack abs or zero size bodies”. But, both Adam and Eve, didn’t take the warning seriously and they kept on humping each other. And now, as a repercussion of that humping, we’re suffering from a disease known as Ekta Kapoor.

So without any further ado, I would like to welcome her to the very first episode of our show, “The Big Bitch”, hosted by your one and only, “Shahid the Gay Kapoor”.

*Rented crowd silent as they were not given any booze or chicken to welcome the guest.*

*Some old retard ladies started crying after seeing the Goddess herself.”

Ekta: Thank you Shahid. You know what? I think you’ve defeated my brother Tushar Kapoor in the competition of gay looks. Congratulations.

*Shahid shying*

Shahid: Thanks Bitch. So let’s move on to our first question, I’ve heard that you are going to embrace Aarushi Talwar’s murder story in your daily soap, is that right?

Ekta: Yes, I think it’s a perfect way to increase the TRP of my serials which have been running from centuries.

Shahid: Don’t you think it is sick?

Ekta: At least it is less sick than watching you romancing with old fat Vidya Balan or that Aarushi the bitch herself. She was humping her 40 year old Nepali servant instead of watching my serials.

Shahid: But it has not been proved that she was sleeping with Hemraj.

Ekta: Shut your mouth ass face, you don’t know anything. This is what happens when you don’t let your kids watch my Indian cultured serials. If she would have been watching my serials then she would have known our Indian culture and the dresses that an Indian woman must wear with all the make-up.

Shahid: But this is imbecilic

Ekta: Yes, this is as imbecilic as your fetish for Justin Timberlake and his gay dance moves. That is why you are trying to copy his dance moves in your latest fucked up movie, “Kismat Konnection”, right gay boy?

Random guy from the crowd: Fuck off you both hermaphrodites

*Old retard ladies beating the shit out of Random Guy*

*Ekta Kapoor giving them blessings*

Shahid: Ok, let’s change the topic; what do you have to say about the latest attempt from Mozilla to set a world record by making Firefox the most downloaded software in a single day?

Ekta: I don’t know about that, but I can surely see a fire in your little fox in your pants which is becoming bigger and bigger with every passing second.

Shahid: How do you know that I call it a Fox?

*Ekta stunned, while other girls and ladies laughing at him*

*Shahid embarrassed*

*Random guy doing something with his fox by keeping the picture of Kareena in front of him*

Shahid: Ok, what do you have to say about your patch-up with Smriti Irani(The Great Tulsi of India)?

Ekta: I’m so happy about that, we’ve always been loyal to each other from the very starting.

Shahid: But we’ve heard that you both are lesbians, is that true?

*Ekta takes out her mobile and calls Tulsi with great anger*

Ekta: Tulsi bitch, why did you tell everyone about us?

*Sounds of moaning coming from the phone*

*Ekta fully anxious*

Ekta: Tulsi! Are you humping someone again?

Karan Johar: Who the fuck is this? Can’t you understand that I and Tulsi are busy?

Ekta: KARAN! I thought you were going to fuck me tonight

Karan: Yeah, I’ll fuck you too, don’t worry darling, we will have a threesome

*Ekta depressed*

*Young teenagers and Shahid laughing*

*Old retard ladies crying*

*Random guy still playing with his fox*

Shahid: Ok, now what will you do?

Ekta: Wait! I’ve just got an idea; I’ll start a new show based on me and Tulsi

Shahid: What would you call it?

Ekta: Kahaani Two Lesbians Ki

Shahid: And who will play the lead roles?

Ekta: Anmol and Shambhavi, the new sluts of Bollywood

Random guy while playing with his fox: Die you fucking slut

*Old retard ladies cheering for Ekta*

Shahid: Best of luck for that, what do you have to say about the movie “Sex and the city”? Planning to launch an Indian version?

Ekta: Love you Shahid, you gave me a wonderful idea. I’ll call it, “Kyonki Kiss bhi Kabhi Sex thi”. My leading ladies will have sex while praying, talking, and plotting against each other and also during dying, during their marriages and also during their plastic surgeries. I’m the best!!

*Splitsvilla facing a tough competition now*

*Old retard ladies blushing*

*Random guy got caught masturbating to Kareena’s pic*

*Shahid and security running after the Random guy*

*Ekta Kapoor fantasizing about her new shows*

*Producer decides to end the show with a “FUCK YOU” message for everyone*

[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/Ekta_Kapoor_The_Big_Bitch_of_India]

May

Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya – New Lesbian TV SHOW

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The growing craze of IPL has sabotaged the whole business of Reality Shows in India. Prior to IPL, you could see a new homosexual Reality Show every other day. Some of the prime examples of these shows are Star Voice of India, Indian Idol, KBC, Big Boss, Koffee with Karan. I got so inspired from this craze that even I tried to start my own TV Shows. I contacted India TV and they asked me to send some ideas about the shows. Here is a small list of the shows that I wanted to start…

1) Big Bitch
2) Kaun Banega Rakhi Sawant ka Pati (Host: Her used up condom boyfriend Abhishek)
3) Booze with Bobby Darling
4) Cunt Voice of India (Judges: Himesh Reshammiya, Anu Malik and a Dildo ready to fuck that cunt voice)
5) Kya aap Ass se tez hain? (Host: The Ass himself “Mahesh Bhatt”)

But sadly, IPL ruined my plans. But, Zee Television has decided to start their own lesbo Talk Show with Rakhi Sawant as the host. It is called “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”. The main motive behind this step is to destroy IPL with the help of big boobs of Rakhi, as this is what Indian Men crave for, even more than Cricket. Producer of the show asked me to see the shoot. How could I say no to such a momentous event in the history of FUCKED UP INDIAN TELEVISION? The show is expected to start with a bang like a gang bang, with as many as 11 stars together on the stage showing their banging skills. I went to the shooting and here is what I saw.

Rakhi: Welcome all of you to my pussy licking show, “Rakhi Ka Phone Aaya”.

Random guy from the rented audience: Die nameless Bitch!

* Rakhi blushing, Producer smiling as he thinks it’ll increase the TRP”

*TRP – Total Request Porn*

Rakhi: Thank you sir and I also welcome the Celebrity Guests of the evening.

*Rented audience clapping as they were given free booze and chicken to do this*

Rakhi: So my first question is for Shahrukh. How are you feeling after losing the battle of the favourite Krazzy 4 item number?

SRK: I didn’t lose the battle. I gave you the title…

Rakhi: Oh please, everyone knows that I’m the ITEM of Bollywood!

Random guy from rented audience: Yeah you’re the ITEM, how much do you charge for one night bitch?

Rakhi: Rs 10 for twosome sex, Rs 20 for threesome and Rs 30 for Group Sex…

Shambhavi(Roadie): I charge only Rs 5 coz I’d already fucked all the guys on MTV ROADIES

Bobby Darling: I’m free!

*Random guy confused between so many sluts*

Rakhi: Shut up Bitches; let’s move on to Hrithik… I heard you’re becoming a father for the second time… how are you feeling? Don’t you have any self-control?

Hrithik: Actually third baby is also coming…

Rakhi: Susan is having twins?

Hrithik: No, Actually I’m doing a kiss scene with this Hollywood slut…

Rakhi: Baby from a kiss?

Hrithik: This is how Indians make babies right? Raja Hindustani anyone?

Aamir: No piece of shit, I’m so perfect that no one came to know when I fucked Karishma… I’m the Number 1 MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Rakhi: Shut up you baldy shit.. Did you shave your pubes too?

Aamir: I shaved your pubes when YOU, ME AUR HUM were having a threesome

Rakhi: Fuck off… now let’s talk to Abhishek and Aishwarya… So Ash, tell us about your Big Boob Show at Cannes… What were you thinking? Trying to beat me in Boob size?

Aishwarya: I wanted to show Salman and Vivek “THE STUFF” that they’ve missed!!

Abhishek: I wanted to tell Rani Mukherjee and Karishma about “THE STUFF” that I got by marrying Ash!!

*A big pole is visible in Salman’s skinny jean while Rani is looking under her bra…*

*Random guy got caught masturbating to Ash’s Cannes picture*

*Aishwarya blushing, Rakhi Jealous…*

Rakhi: So Saif, you seem to be pretty angry about your sister’s pictures in the Maxim Magazine… Why were you not angry when Kareena did the same thing for FHM..?

Saif: Well, I’m Kareena’s dog and I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of her ex-dog “Shahid Kapoor”… I’m really insecure about Kareena… I get to fuck her in doggy-style you see!!

Kareena: Yeah, Saif is my dog, people put collars around their dogs, and I got him a tattoo saying “Kareena”…

*Rakhi impressed and now looking towards her dog Abhishek*

*Random guy still running from police with his cum on Ash’s picture*

Bobby Darling(dreaming): O yeah! O yeahhh!! Fuck me Shahid! Fuck me! Fuck me with your 3 inch dick!!

Rakhi: Wake up bitch from your faggot dream… and I think you told us the reason why Kareena left her ex-dog.

*Kareena proudly touching 4 inch dick of Saif*

Rakhi: So Raghu, first of all congrats for the success of Roadies 5.0, finally you gave two new sluts to Bollywood, “ANMOL and SHAMBHAVI”.. anyways what are your views about Aarushi Murder Case?

Raghu: I think they gave the case to CBI for further investigation..

Rakhi: Wait, CBI? CUNTLESS BITCHES INSTITUTE?

*Raghu bangs his head on the wall and starts crying*

Rakhi: Cry Baby… and how can we forget our Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor? How are you? You look really cute with each other… So how many times have you fucked each other?

Deepika: I’m still a virgin… I really love Ranbir and I’ll make love with him after our marriage…

*Random guy announces the latest mms scandal… Deepika giving Yuvraj a blow job*

*Deepika deleting Yuvraj’s naked wallpaper from her mobile*

* Now a pole is visible in Ranbir’s skinny jean*

And this is how the show ended. It was one hell of a night. No wonder it’ll beat IPL in TRP! Make sure to watch it and have a blast.

Rating – SHOW IS FOR ADULTS ONLY

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News to confirm the show
http://sify.com/movies/bollywood/fullstory.php?id=14681152
http://www.mid-day.com/web/guest/entertainment/bollywood/article?_EXT_5_articleId=1146774&_EXT_5_groupId=14
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[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/Rakhi_Ka_Phone_Aaya_New_Lesbian_TV_SHOW]

May

Aarushi – An unheard Voice of India

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In India, we give a lot of reverence to women. Whenever an Indian man talks about his culture, the first thing that you’ll hear from his shit jabbering mouth is the high position of women in India and the holy ways with which a typical Indian man treats a woman. And if by holy he means:

20 men molesting 2 girls on new year’s eve, or a woman being beaten up so much by the villagers that she starts looking like a lame version of Bobby Darling or 6 men gang raping a 10 year old girl or a boyfriend making a mms scandal of his girlfriend behind her back while she gives him the best blow job of his life?

Then Yes Sir!, Indian men are experts in giving such holy respect to women.

And to make the Indian Man’s head proud, the latest addition to the famous Holy book, “100 Ways to give respect to Indian Women”, is to kill your daughter when she comes to know about your affair with an outside bitch. On May 16, a school girl named “Aarushi” was found dead in her room. Her parents called up the famous INDIAN POLICE and put all the blame on their servant “Hemraj”, who was from Nepal. Before going any further, let me tell you about another famous book in India, “100 ways to put all the blame on a Nepali servant”, a must buy for all the criminals in India.

So after a lot of investigation by our Indian Police, they finally found the body of Hemraj. Now according to our Indian police and media, the murderer of Aarushi Talwar is her dad “Dr Rajesh Talwar”, a dentist at Fortis Hospital. The main reasons behind this whole operation were the dislike of Aarushi towards her dad’s extra-marital affair with an outside bitch named “Dr Anita Durrani”, a colleague of Dr Rajesh Talwar and the closeness of Hemraj and Aarushi. But now everyone is questioning the investigation of the Police. So who is really responsible?

Well all the details of this murder case are in the newspapers and on news channels. But we’ve something which others don’t have. The answer to the above question. We’ve a live video recording of the police investigation. Our reporters are really good in sting operations. So here is the transcript of the video investigation.

Police officer in this video is “Mr. Jhandulal Ghonsle”

Jhandulal: So Mr. Rajesh, what were you doing when this whole thing happened?

Rajesh : Well sir, me and my wife downloaded the movie “Tashan” from net for free as we encourage piracy.. but sir I must tell you.. that movie is a waste of time.. don’t even watch it for free… wasted my bandwidth..

Jhandulal : Get to the point dick head!!

Rajesh : Yes sir.. so we were watching this movie and we felt asleep…don’t blame us!.. movie was really boring..

Jhandulal : Aahh.. yes.. I know.. I booked the whole third class cinema for me and my two lady officers for our sexual routine.. but both of them died during the first five minutes of the movie.. fuck you Yash Chopra and Aditya Chopra..

Jhandulal : Anyways, what were you doing Dr Anita?

Anita : Well I was also watching Tashan, but instead of sleeping.. I was fantasizing about Kareena Kapoor in bikini and her zero size body….

Wife : I was dreaming about Shahid Kapoor and his gay looks…

Rajesh : I was having a big group sex with all of them in my dreams including “Bobby Darling” and “Rakhi Sawant”

Jhandulal : Hmm.. you all are horny little bitches.. anyways, we’ve to give the title of the murderer to someone.. damn this Nepali is dead.. that book should give some more ways to put the blame on a Nepali..

Rajesh : I understand sir, so what to do now?

Jhandulal : I’ve an idea!!. Let’s have a group sex.. the one who turns out to be the worst will go to jail.. agree?

Rajesh : Ok sir.. but i’ve to get my dildo..

Jhandulal : Dildo!! but why?

* Dr Rajesh fully embarrassed*

Rajesh : My dick is only of 2 inches.. that’s why..

Jhandulal : Asshole.. then how did you satisfy these beautiful ladies? Didn’t you read the Holy book? You’re OUT!!!

And this is how we came to know Rajesh is the criminal. God bless our Indian Police!!.

The researchers claimed that with the introduction of new bollywood actresses like Deepika Padukone and Sonal Chauhan, publisher might need to publish a new Holy Book titled, “1000 more ways to give respect to Indian Women”.

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Serious Note -

Rest in Peace “Aarushi Talwar”. May God give peace and rest to her soul.

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Please give respect to women because they are your mother, your sister, your daughter and your wife. Don’t do eve teasing. Treat girls equally and make our Indian Society a better place to live.

[digg=http://digg.com/world_news/Aarushi_An_unheard_Voice_of_India]

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