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Golmaal Returns, sequel to 2006 hit comedy movie, Golmaal, is finally out and boy, it’s creating history on the box office charts. Diwali season is here and people are rushing to cinemas to get a dose of this Brainless comedy. Honestly, I didn’t expect much from this movie by going through the response of the audience but I decided to give it a shot, myself.

I’m not going to write anything about the story as there is none. So, is Golmaal Returns better than its prequel, Golmaal? I don’t think so. But first, let’s discuss some good points about the movie.

Good Points

1. Tusshar Kapoor – He again steals the show with his superb performance as a guy who can’t speak. He outshines everyone out there and he does come in handy to surpass the Censor Board of India by abusing in his own language. Now, that’s a nice plan by the director.

2. Humor – Since, it’s a brainless comedy, so you’ve to keep your brains at home. I’m not a fan of such comedies but humor was better in this one. No sex and toilet jokes, that’s a relief.

3. Performance by men – If Fashion was all about women then Golmaal Returns is all about men. Ajay Devgan, Shreyas Talpade, and Tusshar Kapoor give a good performance and the chemistry between Shreyas and Tusshar is worth mentioning. Shreyas again proves his versatility with his performance.

Bad Points about Golmaal Returns

1. Spoofs – Golmaal returns can’t be called as an Original movie because there is no story at all. Director is more interested in spoofing other movies especially that of Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Spoof movies are somewhat funny but this was drop dead boring.

2. Arshad Warsi – I’m really disappointed with him this time but there is not much fault of his too. His role is weakly written and has no character development. Comic timing is bad, no witty lines and zero sense of humor.

3. The ladies – If you leave out Kareena Kapoor, all other ladies have no role to play. Amrita Arora, Celina Jately, and Anjana Sukhani have no role to play. Anjana only comes like in 3 scenes and that too coming out from the gym. That’s it! Why did they even sign this film? If we talk about their performances, nauseating would be the right word. All of them need to go to some acting school, seriously. This movie shows how producers use ladies just for eye-candies.

4. Music – Music is of the lowest quality. Only Tha Karke is a good song but that too is forced in the movie. Pritam, wake up!

5. Climax and Ending – Everyone comes together in the ending and tries to kill themselves. That is a type of ending which is so stupid that you regret to spend your money on this. If you laughed during the ending, you don’t have a sense of humor at all.

Verdict

Golmaal Returns is your average brainless comedy with little laughs and a large amount of boredom. Obviously, director of the movie, Rohit Shetty, didn’t bother to work on the story as he knew that he would be able to bank on the success of Golmaal. It’s the fine chemistry between the leading actors that save the movie from being a total bore.

Rating –

Cast – Kareena Kapoor, Ajay Devgan, Arshad Varsi, Tusshar Kapoor, Shreyas Talpade, Anjana Sukhani, Amrita Arora, Celina Jaitley

Music Director – Pritam, Ashish Pandit

Movie Director – Rohit Shetty

Do you have anything to say about the movie or do you want to comment on my review? Then feel free to do it by using comment box below and vote in the poll.

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Golmaal Returns
Race, Jannat, Kismat Konnection, and Singh is Kinng, all of them are the music chartbusters of this year and what’s the common link between them? All of them are composed by Pritam. So what if many of the songs are copied from South Korean artists? Copying is an art, too! Well, for his die-hard fans, he is back again with his new soundtrack for the movie, Golmaal Returns, which is highly anticipated due to the success of Golmaal.

So, does Pritam spin his magic again? Highly unlikely! It looks like Pritam lost his touch on this one and inclusion of previous songs from Golmaal can pretty much confirm that. Yes, there are songs from Golmaal which were composed by Vishal-Shekhar and those are the only saving points of this soundtrack.

Golmaal Returns consist of 15 songs out of which 6 are from Golmaal, 5 are remixes and 4 are originals and there is one English version of one Hindi song. I know that doesn’t sound palatable but we can’t do anything about that. One note to the readers, you’re not going to get any romantic number in this album. Every song is meant to be an upbeat song and it’s not a surprise considering the theme of the movie.

1. Tha Kar Ke

The soundtrack starts with a bang with Tha Kar Ke and I won’t be surprised if you don’t know what it means. Also, this song is composed by a new music director, Ashish Pandit. Ironically, this is the only good song out of all the originals. It may take some time to like this song but once you start liking it, there is no going back. Neeraj Shridhar does his job perfectly and so do the others including Anvesha, Aakariti, Earl and Indie. It’s a pretty solid track with good amount of playback value.

2. Vacancy

I really don’t know what to say about Vacancy. It’s one of those which you either hate or love but can’t ignore. There is a feel of old Golmaal song but with a fast beat. Just like Tha Kar Ke, it is an upbeat song with Neeraj in the lead. Lyrics are nothing special and music is average, too. It’s for hardcore Preetam’s fans. 5 minute length hampers its playback value big time.

When will music composers realize that there is no use of making such a lengthy song? They should learn something from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na soundtrack. One reason for its success was the short length of the songs.

Golmaal Returns

3. Tu Saala

Tu Saala doesn’t make any sense and one wonders why it was included in the album? It is definitely one of the worst songs to come out this year. Thank god, you don’t have to listen it for long time as it is only 3 minutes and 29 seconds long. Phew!

4. Meow

What’s the deal with the song title these days? Last year, it was Dard-E-Disco, and this year, it is Tandoori Nights from the movie Karzzz. Now there is one more addition to this list and that is Meow. I wonder if they were inspired from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, if you know what I mean.

At least, this one is better than Tu Saala with better music and singing but not what you call a chartbuster. It’s an average song with a little playback value. To add to your woes, there is one English version of this song. What was the use of it, anyway? Was Pritam out of ideas for this one?

In a nutshell, music of Golmaal Returns disappoints. Thank god, they included songs from Golmaal. They make the album worth listening. It’s not a good start for Golmaal Returns.

Best Songs – Tha Kar Ke, Golmaal (Original from Golmaal)

Rating –

Cast – Kareena Kapoor, Ajay Devgan, Arshad Varsi, Tusshar Kapoor, Shreyas Talpade, Anjana Sukhani, Amrita Arora, Celina Jaitley

Music Director – Pritam, Ashish Pandit

Movie Director – Rohit Shetty

Do you have anything to say about the soundtrack or do you want to comment on my review? Then feel free to do it by using comment box below.

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Must Reads

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We all know about the Seven Wonders of the World, but if we get a chance to add one more item to that consequential list, then that would be, undoubtedly, The Indian Politics. It is one piece of shit which, we the people of India love to hate, even more than John Abraham’s acting, Rakhi Sawant’s annoying voice and Ekta Kapoor’s unpalatable serials.

Although maneuvering a country is reckoned to be the most important job, but in India, you don’t need to pass IIT, AIEEE or even the Fifth grade to enter in politics. All you need is to perpetrate couple of murders, ten rapes with additional 5 gang rapes for higher political positions, ability to backstab anyone at any given time even during masturbation, wherewithal to throw shoes, tomatoes etc at each other during parliament sessions and the last and the most important, knowledge to operate a basic computer with broadband connection in order to start Swiss accounts to deposit all the money robbed from poor people, download porn from desi sites and to write poisonous compact disks against other religions so as to start riots.

NewsDose: So, in order to make the youth of India more familiar with this cunt eating government job and the current problems of India, The News Dose in association with AajTak and CNN-IBN, has organized a special program for the viewers, “Indian Politics – Fuck Me? Fuck You!”

CNN-IBN: We would like to welcome all the politicians and the celebrities who cared to come on this show.

*Rented Youth audience ready with eggs, tomatoes, buckets full of piss and shit and DVDs of Tashan to throw at the politicians.*

NewsDose: So, we are going to start with the hot burning topic of the Nation, The Nuclear Deal, and the first question goes to CPIM leader, Sitaram Yechury, who is opposing this deal. Why are you so much against this deal?

Sitaram Yechury: Well, first of all I want to say that I don’t have any problem with the Congress. It is the US people whom I hate the most.

NewsDose: What is the reason behind so much hate?

Sitaram Yechury: I requested George W Bush to send me a copy of Playboy on my birthday, but he refused to do it. Then I asked the owner of the magazine, Hugh Hefner, to start the magazine in India. He also refused my request. You tell me, they can read our Love Book, The Kama sutra, then why can’t they start this titillating magazine for the perverts Indian men. Don’t you think it is unfair?

Rakhi Sawant: Yes, it is totally unfair for the Indian women too, especially like me. I also want to pose nude for the magazine so that Indian men can buy it and start playing with their dicks and then cum on my face, on my pictures that is.

Random Guy from the audience: Take off your clothes slut; I’ll shoot you with both my camera and my dick.

*Rakhi happy and taking the random guy in the corner*

Sonia Gandhi: I can be a Playboy model for you, if you agree to support us with nuclear deal, ok Sitaram?

Sitaram Yechury: Fuck Yeah! Now you are talking!

*Left and Congress celebrating*

CNN-IBN: Phew, one issue is solved. So, let’s move on to next issue, Inflation. Anyone wants to ask a question to Mr. Chidambaram?

Amar Singh: Yes, I’ve a question. Why prices of commodities are rising even faster than Abhishek’s dick, when he saw Aishwarya naked for the first time?

NewsDose: How do you know about Abhishek’s dick? Is there any sex tape that we don’t know?

Amar Singh: I know everything, you ass hole NewsDose. He is Amitabh’s son and genetically, their dick rising speed matches. And how do I know Amitabh’s speed? Well, we always share the room and kick out Jaya Bachan. I measured his speed when he saw me naked for the first time.

*Amar Singh and Amitabh blushing*

Amitabh: I hope all the youngsters sitting here are learning something.

Random Guy from the audience: Yeah oldie with a booby, I’ve learnt that, how to be a gay at the age of 60.

*Youngistan cheering for the Random Guy*

*Random guy again busy in shooting Rakhi Sawant*

NewsDose: Dr. Manmohan Singh, you are very quiet today, what is the deal?

Manmohan: Actually, Sonia madam has gone with Sitaram, so, I’m waiting for her to come and tell me what to speak.

AajTak: Where is the hell is, The Great Khali? He is not interested in politics? Damn! Listen guys, we’ve to make a one hour show on this issue. We’ll call it, “Khali tune kiya videshi slut ko kiss to bhool gaya India ki politics?”

Youngistan: Go and suck Khali’s dick, you motherfucking TV channel.

NewsDose: Ok, now we’ve Raghu Ram with us. He is here to ask the youth of India a couple of questions.

Raghu: Ok the guy in pink shirt, come here.

*Pinku going to stage*

Raghu: So tell me, what do you want to become in life?

Pinku: I want to clear IIT, AIEEE and all the entrance exams and then become an engineer.

Raghu: Great! Which engineer?

Pinku: Hmmm I haven’t decided it yet, I’m confused between software, mechanical, civil and Electronic. Can you give any suggestion? Don’t tell me to enter politics; I hate this piece of shit.

Raghu: Yes, I’ve a suggestion, go fuck yourself motherfucker. People like you are of no use to this country. I want to be an engineer, what engineer? I don’t know. This is the future of India? Go and die you cock sucker.

CNN-IBN: Cool down Raghu, they are just wannabe engineers just like Tusshar Kapoor, Zayed Khan and Katrina Kaif, who are wannabe actors.

Raghu: Yeah, I understand. Even those 20 sluts in Splitsvilla are better than these doltish assholes. At least, they know that they want to be money grubbing whores for the rest of their lives.

*Youngistan protesting against Raghu and NewsDose because becoming an Engineer or a Doctor is religion to them.*

Youngistan: You both assholes, you never cleared any exam yourself and you are telling us to do what with our lives? Die losers!

Raghu: We are doing this for the welfare of our country. We need creative minds, not coolies like you.

*Youngistan running after Raghu and NewsDose to kill them*

*Manmohan still waiting for Sonia Gandhi to come from her Playboy photo shoot, so that he can say something.*

*Random guy almost died after giving so many shots to Rakhi. She never gets satisfied.*

CNN-IBN: This is the end of the first part of our show, “Indian Politics- Fuck Me? Fuck You!” We’ll come back later with more politics, celebrities and latest scandals including Aarushi Murder case. Ciao.


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