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HARISH MANAV

Thenewsdose.com

Chandigarh,July 31,UPDATED:2.50PM

On a crisp morning in Himachal Pradesh’s Shillai(Sirmaur) village, the sound of folk songs and ceremonial drums echoed through the hills. It was not a conventional wedding but a Jodidara Vivah—a polyandrous marriage where two brothers, Pradeep and Kapil Negi, married Sunita Chauhan in the presence of their elders, neighbours, and relatives.

While the ceremony grabbed national headlines for its unusual format, it also opened a window into another equally remarkable but little-known tradition from the same region—one that doesn’t just accommodate women’s autonomy but places it at the heart of community life. This is Khitaaiyo Vivah, a centuries-old practice of the Scheduled Tribe Hattee community, where women have the unequivocal right to end a marriage and remarry, free from stigma, pressure, or secrecy.

A Tradition Rooted in Respect

Unlike much of mainstream Indian society, where divorce or remarriage still carries heavy social burdens—especially for women—the Hattee community has historically approached marital breakdowns with a simple principle: respect the woman’s decision.

When a woman chooses to leave her marriage under Khitaaiyo Vivah, it is the new groom’s family that must approach her with a proposal, not the other way around. If she accepts, her family appoints Khitaru (social representatives) to visit the groom’s home. A symbolic settlement amount, known as kheet, is then offered by the new groom to her former husband—not as a commercial transaction, but as a gesture of closure and goodwill.

The community sees this act not as breaking one family but as empowering a woman to create another on her own terms. There are no whispers of scandal, no ostracism. Instead, it is treated as a dignified choice that has been culturally validated for generations.

The Siyani: Women as Family Heads

“In our community, women are never pressured—they decide for themselves,” says Nirmla Devi of Shillai Tehsil. “Whether it is choosing a husband, leaving a marriage, or running a family, the woman is at the centre. We call her Siyani—the wise one.”

In Hattee households, the Siyani is not just a homemaker but often the de facto head of the family. Her decisions on finances, farming, and family matters are binding. Both Khitaaiyo and Jodidara marriages give the woman’s choice primacy. Her yes is celebrated, and her no is final.

Community spokesperson Suresh Singta adds, “These are not customs of backwardness, but systems of balance. In our traditions, dignity comes first—and that begins with respecting women’s decisions.”

A Quiet Revolution in Gender Justice

While Khitaaiyo Vivah is no longer widespread due to modern influences and shifting lifestyles, it remains an option available to women who find no way forward in their existing marriage. Even today, those who opt for it do so with community acceptance and without fear of judgment.

In a country where women continue to battle for marital rights, gender equality, and freedom from societal stigma, the Hattee tribe’s approach stands out as quietly revolutionary. It shows that progressive values do not have to be borrowed from external movements or urban reforms; they can emerge from indigenous systems designed generations ago.

Tradition as Empowerment, Not Restriction

In Himachal’s Trans-Giri hills, tradition and women’s empowerment are not adversaries. They walk side by side, carved into local culture and passed down through oral traditions and rituals. Here, a woman’s right to choose her partner—even to walk away from one—is neither rebellion nor shame. It is simply life as the community has always known it. As India debates women’s agency and marital equality in courts, parliaments, and television studios, the Hattee tribe quietly reminds us: true dignity is not in law alone but in lived culture. And sometimes, the future we strive for has already existed in our past.